Being in an unhealthy relationship for 20 years was taking a toll on me. I was feeling constantly overwhelmed and exhausted, hopeless and helpless. What pained me most about my life was living "beneath the bricks"... Knowing that my real self was buried under there. Somewhere deep down... There was so much I needed to accomplish, so much I was capable of creating, doing, spreading. Yet, it sat beneath the cocoon, hibernating... Waiting for the layers of hardened molten to chip away. One chisel at a time... An ...Continue Reading

_I'm going to use you: A journey through codependency (Chapters 1-8)_ *This story was conceived on a road built of yellow bricks, alongside some remarkable characters *For all those who are teaching me to face my fears and embrace my Super Powers, I am forever in your debt, thank you, you are my Angels _Chapter 1_ I hope you don't mind, I'm going to use you What you gave me, what you couldn't give to me And everything in between The laughter, care and attention The anger, disappointment, and tears I'll use it all, ...Continue Reading

How can love go bad? Isn't love supposed to be one of those universal, eternal values? I hear people talk about it. Love this and love that and be loving. Do people even know what it is like to live with someone who doesn't want to be "loved?" Either everyone in my life is sick or my "love" went bad somehow; but how does "love go bad?" This doesn't even seem to be my problem--but my therapist told me to go to CoDA anyway! How frustrating!! Am I some sort of "love drunk?" It is ve ...Continue Reading

We have a favor to ask of our members who use gmail. On the bottom of every email we send out there is a link that says, "Want to remove yourself from this mailing list at any time? Use this link:" & right below that, is a link. By using that method you can easily unsubscribe from the list. We would greatly appreciate it if you would not use the gmail "unsubscribe" or "spam" button. There are 2 reasons: 1. Everytime someone unsubscribes in that manner, gmail puts it down as a neg ...Continue Reading

Empowered vs. Powerless: A First Step Poem Empowered is climbing the mountain of recovery; powerless is giving in before the journey's started. Empowered is the night sky with the Moon's guiding light, powerless is no moon or guiding stars in sight. Empowered comes from remembering myself; powerless comes from forgetting myself. Empowered is what I do to myself, powerless is what I do to others. Empowered is living and breathing my recovery, powerless is giving into my codependent story. Alison M - 6/23/16 You can ...Continue Reading

My history is much like I assume many have. I learned of CoDA back in the late 90s but never did anything with it. I kept plowing my way thru the life I have been given. In 2013, I entered a relationship that was a repeat of many I have had before. I was trying so hard to keep myself sane and not repeat my behaviors of the past. My way was simply not working and found CoDA again when I could no longer afford a therapist. It has been where I could have been many years ago but alas, I am here now and am very grateful as ...Continue Reading

My Experience with a Recovery Acronym Hunger, Anger, Lonely, Tired HALT HALT is one of many recovery tools which have become a part of my daily life. HALT as a standalone concept helps me take inventory and works as a good reminder to stop, slow down, and break my headlong rush toward some unacknowledged and usually unconscious goal. HALT as the acronym is even more useful to me. Hunger, Anger, Lonely and Tired are barometers of my recovery as well as red flags waving Claxton horns loudly clanking, brightly blinking st ...Continue Reading

I never opened my ears. I was always taking care of so many people and issues that I never had time to be truly present. I felt like a ball in a pinball game. As I started my recovery, and with each step I started to focus on me. I was able to detach from people and events that were not good for me. The more I spent time finding myself and learning who I was and what I enjoyed doing I was able to see the value in my true friends and family. I spend more time with my ears open and focusing on what is deeply important to ...Continue Reading

Cathy’s Inventory Template 1. Did I take care of myself physically? 2. Did I take care of myself emotionally? 3. Did I take care of myself spiritually? 4. Did I isolate? 5. Did I reach out to others? 6. Did I ask for help when I needed it? 7. Taking an honest look at my motivations, did I take any actions aimed at controlling others or situations to my liking? 8. How do I feel? 9. Am I experiencing any fear, shame, or guilt? If so, why? 10. Do I feel anger? If so, which anger management tool will I use to deal ...Continue Reading

The contents of this email are from the Weekly Reading Sub Committee Of the CoDA Co-NNections Committee, wr@coda.org We're writing today looking for CoDA members who would be interested in contributing to the Weekly Readings. You can view the 2015 & 2016 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/archive/connections/ We're looking for new material to send out for the Weekly Reading. We are interested in receiving submissions from CoDA members that represent the authentic experience of recovery. ...Continue Reading

 Quenched They came to the group Telling their story Of love lost and fool's gold A steady stream like none- these passers had ever seen. They came in their manys, Came together, or one by one Looking for answers Solace, support. Tired, worn, worried- About the outcome. Yet, most learned to feel the shock of majesty and The wonder of the other side: where loved bloomed - Quietly, deeply Anchoring earth. Mike T. - 1/14/16 You can review previous 2015 & 2016 readings here: http://codependents.or ...Continue Reading

I have been in Co-Dependents Anonymous for 8 months now, joined in July of 2015. My son brought me to a 12-step group. He is now a recovering drug addict. I have to thank my Higher Power everyday for his addiction, otherwise I would not have come through the doors of CoDA. The first step says, "We admitted we were powerless over others, that our lives had become unmanageable." I was powerless over my son and his addiction and over pretty much everything else, except my recovery. Through working the 12 steps, ...Continue Reading

Growing up in a religious house, I remember the panic attacks I had from the time I was 8 years old. I didn't believe any of what I heard and that was scary. From what I could understand at the time, I was simply incapable of believing what my parents believed and what all the other adults in my life believed. It set me off on a road of thinking in many ways, that there must be something very deeply wrong with me. I carried that fear, pain, anxiety, shame and guilt with me well into my young adulthood. In my childhood ...Continue Reading

My name is Don B. I am co-dependent. Here is my 4th Step Prayer I wrote after finishing my first journey through that step in CoDA: God if it be thy will please remove from me the fictional belief that my existence is wrong. Please remove from me the fictional belief that my being is shameful. Please remove from me the fear that these fictional beliefs are true, and will be discovered. I take full responsibility for these Defects of Character, and humbly ask that these Short Comings be removed, so I may be of use to y ...Continue Reading

A question in Step 2 asks: What attributes does my Higher Power have, and how do they support me? For me, the answer to this question is the Key to my recovery. My Higher Power Attributes cleansed the stubborn childhood's cobwebs that were once embedded inside my head, and helps me stay focused on the positive, rather than the negative. Some say: "My HP doesn't like it when I procrastinate; he expects me to do better." Others say: "My HP doesn't like it when I don't follow his will”. If it's not too mu ...Continue Reading

My name is Danielle and I am definitely Co-dependent. Well, somehow time has passed and I am entering my 22nd year in Co-Dependents Anonymous. I came here because I didn't want to be an alcoholic, so strangely enough, being co-dependent was better. I found out quickly that I had some unresolved issues that needed to be addressed in order to heal. I sat in CoDA meetings for a couple of months before I realized there was no turning back. I wanted to stop going to meetings, but I really was sick and tired of being sick an ...Continue Reading

I have been in CoDA for 2.5 years now and can definitely say that this program was sent to me by God! I had problems with love relationships from the beginning of time. I always felt that something was wrong with me until I found the program. I now know that I inherited codependency and love addiction from my parents but am not blaming them or angry at them anymore as I do realize they too inherited it from their parents. It is a generational disease, just like physical diseases and it takes courage, self-awareness, an ...Continue Reading

A poem written with my 14 year old son in mind who is struggling with anger. As someone in recovery who has had outbursts of anger and have used the "garbage can" pre-recovery I wanted to share! THE GARBAGE CAN Garbage can, why are you so full? I'm sure I can fit a little bit more. Keep pushing it down, stuffing it in, surely you will never end. Why do I fill you, why does more fit? Because you are my comfort and my deepest confidence. You're all that I know, you're safe metal walls. I know that you'll be th ...Continue Reading

I am a very productive feelings factory. I always have been and probably always will be. Before recovery, I was also in the business of delivering these feelings, and I was very bad at it. I would churn out all sorts of feelings, which I would then promptly and compulsively dispatch to the wrong recipient, or dump all over the place in inappropriate locations. Sometimes I was so overloaded with the feelings I had manufactured that they would spill off the truck and be left lying in broken piles by the roadside. Often t ...Continue Reading

Service work is a life saver. I joined Coda in 1998 and by the grace of my higher power a couple of weeks into my program I was asked to fill in for our GSR while she was on vacation. Wow, this was my chance to get involved in my program and understand the principles. Since then, I have held several meeting & intergroup positions from secretary, treasurer, newsletter, fellowship and conference activities as well as others. Being a introvert/isolator the fellowship activities position really helped me to network an ...Continue Reading

The Butterfly Feeling grounded, weighted down. The world's upon my shoulders. Feel my footing loosing grip, I'm covered up in boulders. The suffocating pain of life is almost too much to bear; I'd leave this world of suffering but for the ones that care. I've lost myself inside this storm. The winds are whirling round. I feel so lost and cast-away. I'm sure I'll not be found. Lacking Love, a heart neglected, it's a dark and lonely place. I seek some light in this dark tunnel; looking for some grace. My youthfulness ...Continue Reading

I have recently been faced with the hard cold fact that I am codependent... after reading up on what it actually means, the term "poster child" comes to mind. I have been given two workbooks to page through and work in addition to seeking out a support group to help me sort this whole new diagnosis out. Yes diagnosis... my therapist said so. Today’s lesson to work on was detachment. Bam! I am now over whelmed and actively seeking guidance from my higher power (God) I now understand the serenity prayer and wh ...Continue Reading

The contents of this email are from the CoDA Co-NNections Committee, connections@coda.org We're writing today looking for CoDA members who would be interested in contributing to the Weekly Readings. You can view the 2015 & 2016 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/archive/connections/ We're looking for new material to send out for the Weekly Reading. We are interested in receiving submissions from CoDA members that represent the authentic experience of recovery. We are especially looking ...Continue Reading

My Current Thoughts & Process With The Issue & Concept of “Love Addiction” I want to be very clear that though I have many years in CoDA (24) the following is very much my own personal opinion & nothing more (other than perhaps the final 2 paragraphs). Over the last 5 years or so, due to my personal evolution & a difficult experience with a 12 step group that focuses on Love Addiction I have changed my personal opinions. First a caveat: If there's current abuse, active alcoholism or active drug addict ...Continue Reading

I'm Sara, I'm codependent. BEFORE: ("Have difficulty identifying feelings. Minimize, alter or deny their feelings." Denial Patterns) I came to CoDA on October 16th, 1999 because I was 37 years old and still trying to do whatever I assumed my parents wanted me to do – at my own expense. I believed I could never do enough to please them. I didn't know myself or what made me happy. I was miserable. AFTER: ("I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved&q ...Continue Reading

FEBRUARY 14? NO VALENTINE?? I CAN LAY OFF THE WHINE! When I was a child I learned that love was a most powerful, healing energy that could fix almost any problem. As I grew up I took that wisdom and felt that any problem faced could and would be overcome if only I could and would love more. When I finally gave up trying to fix others because my own fatigue and self-neglect had made my life (and the lives of those I claimed to love) unmanageable, I came to CoDA. When Valentine's Day came around I felt sad because I ha ...Continue Reading

I came to CoDA via other rooms. I had developed creative and believable methods of manipulation and control to get people to need, like, and be impressed by me. I didn't necessarily want attention, but ultimately desired consistency of kindness and care from relationships (which of course was the missing link from childhood). It took 40-something years and a good home group that felt VERY comfortable for me to finally admit co-dependency is my core challenge. Personal inventory was frightening until it became just lau ...Continue Reading

I live in fear of the future, that is to say that I live in the future, afraid. What will go wrong? I wonder constantly, fearfully. If I just do everything right (perfectly), maybe I won't have to be ashamed of myself, my life, my words and actions. Constantly comparing myself and my circumstances to others, with every waking thought, in order to discern my appropriate next action. Of course, this leaves no room for play. To play, one must have a sense of freedom in the moment to let go, to releasing agenda. Always as ...Continue Reading

What I have learned in CoDA? So much you can't even believe. this is a great program to learn about co-dependency, and that means self value, vulnerability, imperfection, dependency, and maturity. In newer CoDA-language, we say self esteem, complacent, control, and avoidance. (we liked the older version better). But either way, we were finally allowed to talk about the childhood abuse, and then, start to see how it effects our lives today. I don't know where this program is going for me. I am still not in a healthy r ...Continue Reading

Paddy Rose's Story Fourteen years after I left my first marriage with my two young children, because he had once again asked me to stop focusing on getting MY college degree and go back to work, I knew I had hit my bottom, especially after I had been accepted into a prestigious local university. At that time in 1987, a popular book about Women getting into unhealthy relationships had been published and I was attending a group with other women looking at our codependency issues, singing to myself "I haven't got ti ...Continue Reading

Improving our conscious contact with CoDA... Recently I was reminded that "an isolated group can be like an isolated Co-dependent." When I stopped being defiant and arrogant about how I was living my life; I finally broke my own isolation. I embraced CoDA recovery and I got better! In the same way, it seems when CoDA groups stay connected with each other that the group's aura of recovery improves which makes the group attractive which in turn helps the individuals in the group; everyone wins. One thing that ...Continue Reading

Awakening I attended CODA meetings off and on from the mid-1990's but didn't actually understand what "working the program " meant until 1 1/2 years ago. That's when I realized that If I truly wanted recovery I needed to commit. And I did. I got a sponsor bought the literature and began working the Steps. And, as I did the work, I began to awaken. I began to understand what the slogans meant. I experienced miracles in my life as I learned to trust my Higher Power and work the Steps, attend meetings regularly, ...Continue Reading

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION? WHAT IS YOUR RECOVERY PLAN FOR 2016? Some people who come into CoDA for the first time seem to have a strong desire to recover. People like this are a marvel to see because they can almost magically breathe life into the Codependent recovery community! This is especially true when maybe that community hasn't had someone come by who was "really serious" in a while. Of course, some people don't stick with recovery at all; other people may get discouraged or frustrated and lose their ze ...Continue Reading

CoDA Email Lists & Spam Filters (Please Read) Some of the emails we have sent you from the email list(s) you're subscribed to have may have been bounced by your email provider as spam. This is happening because some providers have their filter configured to see specific (unknown to us) words as spam. Unfortunately, this has been going on for several months, and it is impacting CoDA; the most significant impact is that when one filter labels CoDA email as spam, many other filters get that information and make it h ...Continue Reading

Here are some thoughts on Codependency & Recovery (They represent the author’s thoughts and experiences and are not endorsed by CoDependents Anonymous.) • Codependency is about focusing on, taking care of, and fixing others. Recovery is about focusing on and taking care of me, and being supportive of others. I believe that codependency is a set of survival mechanisms and behaviors learned in childhood to protect against abuse from our primary care givers and others. As adults these behaviors and beliefs are self ...Continue Reading

Validation I recognized at about 52 years of age that I was a people pleaser, approval seeker, always thought I was nice, helpful, giving... Good, right? No! Now I know the truth! I was becoming a doormat! Nothing attractive about that!! So I realized it, but what did I do about it? I started attending CODA meetings, and now at 55 years of age, I am reading and listening to all of the quality information I can find. Because now I'm finding out why. One can only put on a Band-Aid, take a pill, drink a drink in an attem ...Continue Reading

Many CoDA emails are being put in your spam folder by aol. If you would be willing to go into your aol spam folder & check every CoDA email & select "not spam" that would insure future delivery & greatly help CoDA.                             In Service,                   &nbs ...Continue Reading

I Am Enough I was feeling lonely. By working the steps I realize that I was ignored as a child. I was told, by their actions that I wasn't important. But I was. As an adult, I continued this dysfunction by ignoring myself. I believed that others were more important than I was. This attracted people into my life that also believed they were more important than I was. I would spend years doing whatever it took to get noticed, which included many positive and negative actions. Now I know I'm enough. I take care of myself ...Continue Reading

Codependency and My Dog When my dog wags his tail, I smile. He is happy. So, I'm happy. Often, all I have to do is walk into the living room and I'll hear the thumping of his tail on the hardwood floor. It is his visible and audible sign that he is happy to see me. When I return home from work and he runs over to greet me, I enjoy that feeling of being needed. I am codependent with my dog and I'm OK with that. I don't go to codependents anonymous because I am codependent. As the CoDA blue book says, we are all a litt ...Continue Reading

We'd like to take his opportunity to remind you of the best methods to bypass improperly programmed spam filters. In a nutshell, it basically involves putting the sender's address (in our case, Announcements: codalist@codependents.org Weekly Reading: co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org QSR: qsrsend@codependents.org Hospitals & Institutions: hosp@codependents.org ) In your contacts / address book / white list Also as an fyi, aol users are having issues receiving many emails; it's especially important to do t ...Continue Reading

I Went To My First Meeting Last Week . . . ... and I walked in terrified as ever. I am 28 years old and for the first time in my life I realize that I am codependent. I have been labeled, but it's true. I am recently separated from a man and stepson and am alone for the first time in my life. I have always supported others and never myself. I find myself deeply depressed and lost. I want out! I want a new life. I want to live like other people that seem so happy The first meeting was awesome. I cried before anyone sho ...Continue Reading

Kathie's Story It has been 3 years this month since I started back in CoDA on a regular basis. I used to come randomly for 3-5 previous years, which doesn't work or didn't work for me. I have learned so much from CoDA from my friends in my group. Watching everyone grow made me realize that I must be growing and changing, also. I have made some really wonderful friendships in my group. People that I love and care about. They have taught me it is ok to be vulnerable. They don't judge me. When I talk at the meeting everyo ...Continue Reading

Kathie's Story It has been 3 years this month since I started back in CoDA on a regular basis. I used to come randomly for 3-5 previous years, which doesn't work or didn't work for me. I have learned so much from CoDA from my friends in my group. Watching everyone grow made me realize that I must be growing and changing, also. I have made some really wonderful friendships in my group. People that I love and care about. They have taught me it is ok to be vulnerable. They don't judge me.  When I talk at the meeti ...Continue Reading

Valerie's Story When I first started going to meetings, I lived in an area where there were a lot to choose from. I now live in an area where there are only three. We have a very vibrant Saturday meeting where we feel pretty isolated and I know that many old-timers are concerned about the lack of CODA in the community. I'd like to be of service in any way I can to those who need it here in my community. I know myself enough to know how much effort I can put into things; I no longer engage in doing the volunteer work ...Continue Reading

Thank you Thank you all for being here And teaching me to be HERE… How life takes course It ebbs and flows And once again That I let go... Sometimes hard I feel like crying Sometimes fun I feel like flying In this group we learned a lot Alone with my fears? I say not! Maybe the beginning wasn’t best But with your help I’ve got the rest! Thanks, Michelle May 18, 2015 You can review previous 2015 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/ And older readings here: http ...Continue Reading

Hi, we hope you've found the weekly reading helpful & inspirational! We're writing today, looking for CoDA members who would be interested in contributing to the Weekly Readings in 1 of 2 ways: 1. We're looking for new material to send out for the Weekly Reading. We are interested in receiving submissions from CoDA members that represent the authentic experience of recovery. We are especially looking for submissions that not only focus on the pain and struggle associated with codependency, but that also points to ...Continue Reading

                                             I Cry Alone Most nights Most days Most anytime your smile comes to mind. Kind folks ask me how I'm doin. Others whisper, "she's been through a lot. I feel sorry for her." The truth be told - I feel sorry for me or at least I have felt that way. When ...Continue Reading

Julie B.’s Story Hello CoDA Family, My name is Julie B, a recovering codependent. I was a grateful member of the CoDA Board of Trustees from 2009 – 2012. Serving on the CoDA Board of Trustees accelerated my spiritual growth on the “diamond lane of recovery”. Here are some highlights: • I utilized the tools of our program; Steps, Traditions, Service Concepts, and Promises. • I practiced the spiritual principles in a safe setting with Board members, Committee members, Delegates, Fellow Service Workers, etc… from aro ...Continue Reading

                                                                    Jenica's Story I was approaching my birthday and decided to write down some goals I hoped to see manifest by my 30th year ...Continue Reading

                              Do The Right Thing But make sure to participate and contribute to the world What matters most is your business and minding your business Be kind,loving,and peaceful Treasure every bit of magic you encounter along the way What is precious can be fleeting Think what you want but be mindful about what you say as well as how you say it Break the ...Continue Reading

ARE YOU SABOTAGING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? How are your relationships? Business? Personal? Family? Friendships? Romantic? Yourself? Any issues? Any recurring patterns? The first reaction is to blame it on the other party. It's easier to see the faults in others than in ourselves. Though relationships take two to tango. We must have had something to do with it. They say most of our problems are of our own making. So how do we honestly look at our part in our relationships and take responsibility for them so we can change a ...Continue Reading

But... I Joined CoDA To Stop Myself From Doing Too Much! (Excerpted From A Longer Article) I believe this issue is one of the reasons we've had so much trouble attracting new intergroup members. First, we do not encourage new comers to CoDA to join intergroup, there is much service to be done at the meeting level! But once one has 6 months - 1 year (depending on the person) service on a larger scale can be a wonderful opportunity to grow in CoDA. I've personally found doing service to be a great way to learn to set b ...Continue Reading

My Name is Byron Hi, My name is Byron and I am codependent. My story to my codependent fans is one of heartbreak and one of discovery. A true novel! I am 25 and have had everyone around me for the last 16 years. I am putting the finishing touches on a divorce and I am alone for the first time in a long time. So now I’m dealing with 1. DIVORCE and 2. CODEPENDENCY. A double whammy and one that I do not wish on anyone. I went to my first meeting last night and was blown away that other people have the same problems tha ...Continue Reading

Laurel's Story I grew up the youngest of four in the 80s. My mother was the breadwinner and worked long hours. My father was the stay-at-home parent. In retrospect I'm pretty sure my dad has borderline & narcissistic personality disorders, as well as being an addict. Apparently when he and my mom met he was abusing narcotics. After they had their first child (my brother) he quit all illegal substances, but now--again, in retrospect--I would call him a "dry drunk". However, when I was a child and did not ...Continue Reading

We are having ALOT of problems with "keyword" spam filters, especially with smaller email providers. If you are not receiving our weekly readings & you wish to; please add "co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org" (without the quotes) to your contact list / address book / whitelist both on your account of your email provider's website and on any spam filters running on your computer. If you are subscribed to the Weekly Readings List & are not receiving the Tuesday mailings I can all but guarant ...Continue Reading

                                                                      Susan's Story I grew up in an unhappy household. My parents argued and fought angrily all the time. There wer ...Continue Reading

                                                                 My Story I am a Lebanese Muslim female in my late 40's, living in the UAE for the last 15 years. English is my 3rd language. I will do my be ...Continue Reading

My experience serving on the CoDA Board I will never forget the question arriving in my inbox, “Will you run for the Board?” I was stunned to think that someone thought that I might have something of value to offer our Fellowship. Within about a month I was voted to the Board of Trustees. During my 3 year term, I experienced every emotion possible – the first and foremost being fear. I found that my HP met my fear with great courage, strength and faith. I learned to work my program of recovery in a deeper manner. I use ...Continue Reading

My experience serving on the CoDA Board I will never forget the question arriving in my inbox, “Will you run for the Board?” I was stunned to think that someone thought that I might have something of value to offer our Fellowship. Within about a month I was voted to the Board of Trustees. During my 3 year term, I experienced every emotion possible – the first and foremost being fear. I found that my HP met my fear with great courage, strength and faith. I learned to work my program of recovery in a deeper manner. I u ...Continue Reading

                               Sometimes I Just Need To Keep My Mouth Shut Sometimes I just need to keep my mouth shut. I grew up believing that I had to save the world. Everything was crashing around me, my father’s drinking, my mother’s silence and denial. I had to keep myself distracted from the painful reality by keeping myself distracted. As I strip away my addiction ...Continue Reading

                                                                    Wise Words Slogans have always appealed to me. I need things short and simple and, for me, slogans and phrases get right ...Continue Reading

Words Of Wisdom 2001 (A Collection of sayings heard at meetings) What someone else thinks of me is none of my business. Submitted by, RM With my Higher Power's help, everything that is possible, is possible. Submitted by Carole D The only meeting you are late for is the one where you miss the closing prayer. Submitted by, RM Our serenity level is inversely proportionate to our level of expectation. Submitted by Racquel M. Life is how YOU change it Submitted by Denise When I share in meetings, It is my job to ope ...Continue Reading

We have a favor to ask of our members who use Hotmail, Outlook or MSN. On the bottom of every email we send out there is a link that says, "Want to remove yourself from this mailing list at any time? Use this link:" & right below that, is a link. By using that method you can easily unsubscribe from the list. We would greatly appreciate it if you would not use the gmail "unsubscribe" or "spam" button. There are 2 reasons: 1. Everytime someone unsubscribes in that manner, Hotmail p ...Continue Reading

We have a favor to ask of our members who use gmail. On the bottom of every email we send out there is a link that says, "Want to remove yourself from this mailing list at any time? Use this link:" & right below that, is a link. By using that method you can easily unsubscribe from the list. We would greatly appreciate it if you would not use the gmail "unsubscribe" or "spam" button. There are 2 reasons: 1. Everytime someone unsubscribes in that manner, gmail puts it down as a neg ...Continue Reading

                                                                       I Am Enough In a crowded mall this Christmas, I went to pick up a small utility item. I don't need to s ...Continue Reading

                                                                   Love, Support and CoDA Through love and the support of CoDA, I have learned some astounding things about the God of my understa ...Continue Reading

                                                                The First Shame Attack The first shame attack that I remember was in kindergarten. Today it remains vivid in my mind, more than forty years later ...Continue Reading

                          "True Love In Balance" In recovery from codependency I discovered the patterns I learned long ago that prevent me from being authentic and allowing the unmet emotional needs of my heart to be met. First, I would anticipate what others wanted or needed and then I would accommodate those needs. If my needs were in conflict, I would acquiesce to the other person's ...Continue Reading

The following is the opinion of the writer (a valued CoDA member), & is NOT officially endorsed by CoDependents Anonymous. Importance of Working the Steps 1) What is meant by "working the Steps"? For me, working the Steps means studying them and applying them. I study the Steps by reading different literature like the CoDA pamphlets or other 12 Step literature, and attending Step meetings. By studying the Steps I come to an understanding of what they mean to me. Then I practice using them in my daily li ...Continue Reading

Rewards of Recovery I could write a novel, however I have chosen to keep this brief. Recovery is living life. I started seeing a therapist one year ago, I was (like most Codependents) involved with an alcoholic. When I began to realize that I was just as sick as the alcoholic, I chose to end the relationship so that I could get better. I can honestly tell you that LIFE FOR ME BEGAN AT 30! I look back now and think that I was sicker than the alcoholic!!! (and he was the one who was nuts) I will tell you, recovery ...Continue Reading

I feel so lucky and blessed to have found CoDA My name is Marguerite and I am a recovering codependent. I feel so lucky and blessed to have found CoDA. I feel that my HP led me here, when I had no place else to go. For the first time in years, I feel hope and a sense of certainty that things are going to be okay, and that I am really, really okay, too. It hit me just a few weeks ago, as I sat alone, crouched in my own home with all the lights off, hiding. I felt helpless and things felt out of control. The police had ...Continue Reading

1 Year Birthday           I’d like to preface my story with a disclaimer that the beginning of my recovery is a parallel with two 12­step programs ­ AA and CoDA. I’ll go between the two, referencing one and then the other, because both were crucial to my realization that I had the disease of codependency, as well as the symptoms (alcoholism and drug addiction) that manifested as a result of trying to self­medicate and treat that disease. One year and one week a ...Continue Reading

                         Why do service work?                 How can service work advance my recovery? People get involved in service work for many different reasons. Some do it because they want to control what is going on in their sphere within CoDA. Others do it because they think that they are the only one who knows what i ...Continue Reading

              Reward Of Recovery - 3 years later                            September 28, 2001 I've just celebrated 4 years in recovery. As I look back and read my initial one year anniversary letter, I see now that I had simply uncovered the tip of the iceberg. I'd established a foundation. What followed has been truly miracul ...Continue Reading

      Enough My blessings overwhelm me Why am I afraid of stepping out further onto the fruitful branch? Am I not content with what I have? Is it not enough? When I was small I was never enough I never had enough or was good enough Those dissatisfactions came from outside disapprovals Now I am big and I surely have enough It’s time to step out far onto the limb to change, metamorphose the words... For now, the “not enough” is not about my dissatisfactions It’s about natural evolution of growth ...Continue Reading

Amends I have heard people in the program complain about others owing them amends. When the other person admitted their wrong doing and vowed to change the amends were not accepted because they didn’t say they were sorry. Is saying, "I’m sorry" an amends? Or is there a lot more to it. Webster’s definition for Amend (on the internet); 1: To put right 2a: to change or modify for the better 2b: to alter, to reform oneself Synonym – correct My first sponsor told me it was not important whether the person I was ...Continue Reading

                                   Good Things I read the affirmation today, "I deserve the good things that happen in my life" and it took me by surprise. As a codependent from an alcoholic background my focus and energy was always directed toward preventing major catastrophes from happening to others and myself. It seemed as though the good ...Continue Reading

       The Daily Eleventh Step When I first began in recovery, over eight years ago, I read in a daily meditation book about a woman who used the eleventh step as a guide to the other steps. As I was an experienced meditator I latched on to this concept. Meditation was a familiar tool, and I have used it daily to increase my understanding of all 12 of the steps. When I meditate, I breathe in harmony with the slogan "Let Go, Let God". I breathe out while holding in my mind the tho ...Continue Reading

Do you enjoy the weekly recovery readings? Do you like carrying the message of recovery? Would you like to be a part of the Co-NNections committee? If you answered yes to the above questions, WE WANT YOU!!! The Co-NNections committee is currently looking for new members. Skills that would be helpful could include: Excitement & joy about codependency recovery Knowledge of the Traditions Strong writing and editing skills Available for occasional teleconferences Email & computer skills Our major focus is o ...Continue Reading

I Am Healthy By Kay K. It is amazing to be able to say that! I will say it again, I am a whole, happy, healthy, loving woman. I was sick for the first 40 years of my life. Like millions of other human beings I grew up immersed in the family disease of alcoholism. For generations it has plagued my family. The unbalanced life I led is so common in our society; I didn?t know anything was wrong. I was a participant in the chaos, confusion, neuroses, pain and suffering, which is present in dysfunctional families. I call it ...Continue Reading

Recovery      I look at the young child So free and so wild. She seems so unsure Like there is something more... She lives through the days Looking for ways To make it okay Through night and through day. Her home’s a disguise she sees through her eyes. Something’s not right, So she put up a fight. Her soul is pure her heart is gold, She wants a hug, a hand to hold. It’s just not there She wonders why... So many times she starts to cry. “It’s not your fault!” I try to say To make ...Continue Reading

We have discovered since we started sending you the readings in the actual email that smaller service providers using enterprise spam filters such as Barracuda & Spam Assassin are frequently marking our readings as spam & not delivering them. Unfortunately it's takes very little to labeled as spam (our last 2 sendings had huge problems with that), & it is very inconsistent what will cause one of the thousands of filters used to do so. We ask that you add co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org to your contact ...Continue Reading

                                 Death and Recovery Last year a former member of my CoDA meeting, Toni, committed suicide. She attended the meeting for about two years and moved to another city. Toni maintained a strong friendship with another member here, Lesley. One Monday, Toni didn't show up for work. Lesley expressed concern and fear as she processed what sh ...Continue Reading

                      Helpful Affirmations                   I am accepting of others and myself.   I am confident!   I am flexible, friendly, and fulfilled.   I am self-affirming.   I experience joy.   I am a spirited and spiritual person.   I feel blessed to have many opportunities in my life.   Today, I ch ...Continue Reading

               The Daily Eleventh Step When I first began in recovery, over eight years ago, I read in a daily meditation book about a woman who used the eleventh step as a guide to the other steps. As I was an experienced meditator I latched on to this concept. Meditation was a familiar tool, and I have used it daily to increase my understanding of all 12 of the steps. When I meditate, I breathe in harmony with the slogan "Let Go, Let God" ...Continue Reading

Amends I have heard people in the program complain about others owing them amends. When the other person admitted their wrong doing and vowed to change the amends were not accepted because they didn't say they were sorry. Is saying, "I'm sorry" an amends ? Or is there a lot more to ii. Webster 's definition for Amend (on the internet);   1: To put right 2a: to change or modify for the better 2b: to alter, to reform oneself Synonym - correct My first sponsor told me it was not important whether the ...Continue Reading

                     Acceptance to Grace There are times in my life when circumstances arise that I want to be different, that I feel are unfair, that test my will and patience. What I am learning and living is that God's grace is always there if I ask for it. When I try to control my emotions, when I try to control circumstances, when I try to change others I make my self sick with worry and lose my connection to all th ...Continue Reading

Boundaries Boundaries are borders We draw to preserve, The distance between What's mine and what's yours They keep pain out and peace within, And are a necessary tool If you desire to win This game of life So complicated it seems, As if heaven could only exist in a dream These boundaries help us create peace on earth And remind us of our Natural rights from birth In recovery we're reminded of this awesome truth, So we own our power with no excuse. Jennifer T. (2009) If you have written an inspirational short pie ...Continue Reading

The contents of this email are from the CoDA Co-Nnections committee, co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org To our valued CoDA Fellowship Weekly Reading Subscribers: Great news: The weekly recovery readings have returned! You will likely be receiving the first one within the next week. At least in the short run, the reading will likely be in the email you receive from this list, rather then just a pointer to the website as you received in the past. Our long term plan is to use both methods; if you have any feedback on ...Continue Reading

The contents of this email are from the CoDA Co-NNections committee, connections@coda.org Dear Weekly Readings Subscribers, I'm happy to know that many of you look forward to the Weekly Readings and saddened that it has been awhile since a different Weekly Reading has been posted. It's been one month since the new Co-NNections website was finished.   The problem that we have is a technical issue with the software used to create this website. "Mura" is the software platform and doesn't have a random pag ...Continue Reading

We've received emails from several CoDA members asking why we have not sent a Weekly Readings Reminder in quite awhile. The answer is that when the CoDA.org website was re-designed Co-NNections was given a new website; though it will appear to you that you are still on the main CoDA site. That site is not ready yet, & it is not currently possible to post new readings; hence we haven't been sending the reminders. Also for the same reason, the links in previous mailings are no longer functional. There is a partia ...Continue Reading

We've received emails from several CoDA members asking why we have not sent a Weekly Readings Reminder in quite awhile. The answer is that when the CoDA.org website was re-designed Co-NNections was given a new website; though it will appear to you that you are still on the main CoDA site. That site is not ready yet, & it is not currently possible to post new readings; hence we haven't been sending the reminders. Also for the same reason, the links in previous mailings are no longer functional. There is a partial ...Continue Reading

(Mailing list information, including how to remove yourself, is located at the end of this message.) We're sending you this email to let you know of a change in our email list software's unsubscription process. You can no longer unsubscribe on the website. The only way to unsubscribe at this time is to click the unsubscribe link in the email you receive. If for any reason that doesn't work; please email codalist@codependents.org or respond to any list email & I can unsubscribe you manually. We apologize for this c ...Continue Reading

(Mailing list information, including how to remove yourself, is located at the end of this message.) For unknown reasons, the unsubscribe links in our bulk email program are broken for some users (including myself). The programmer is on vacation until May 1st. He has been informed of the issue by email. If you wish to unsubscribe before then & are unable to, please email us at this address & I will manually unsubscribe you. Geff R CoDA Email ...Continue Reading

(Mailing list information, including how to remove yourself, is located at the end of this message.) *********************************************************************************** The new Co-NNections weekly reading has been posted. To view it, go to: http://coda.org/week-read.php *********************************************************************************** To forward this email to a friend, please click the link below. https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/archive/connections//#forward_to_a_frien ...Continue Reading