CoDA Weekly Reading Archives


CoDA Weekly Reading 9/13/22

September 13th 2022 PDT

Finding SerenityI am powerless over my students’ punctuality/attendance and my life has become unmanageable. In this moment, I can feel the misery arising in me. It’s 8 am and only about one-half of the class has arrived. I could acknowledge the ones who are on time, reward them somehow, and punish the rest. That’s within my power, right? What do I do? This is where I can go the way of my higher power or have a codependency flare up.I thank my higher power and Codependents Anonymous for giving me the wisdom and grace to ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/6/22

September 6th 2022 PDT

Pain  "We don't change until the pain of remaining the same exceeds the pain of change." This was one of my sponsor's favorite quotes and now it's one of mine, too. I know that it has held true in my life. And I find the quote comforting on many levels. For one thing, it changed my perspective on pain. That rather than something to be feared and avoided at any cost, pain is natural, and especially for those of us stuck in self-defeating patterns, it is necessary. Sometimes it is the only th ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #24 is online now! (Link Included)

September 3rd 2022 PDT

Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed "Time to Recover" is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers.There is plenty of s ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/30/22

August 30th 2022 PDT

The 38th Pattern of Recovery"Co-dependents often demand that their needs be met by others. In recovery, I find and use resources that meet my needs without making demands on others. I ask for help when I need it, without expectation." me, making demands was not an obvious pattern of behavior. It was insidiously sneaky, even when I was the one being demanding. I learned to recognize my demands by noticing the anticipated resentment I was ready to unleash ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/23/22

August 23rd 2022 PDT

Realizing the Twelve PromisesI attended my first CoDA meeting 30 years ago when I was 22 years old. My father, a recovering alcoholic, heard about it and suggested I go.Back then, I was ungrounded and paying attention to everyone else but me, internalizing everyone else’s moods and feelings and acting out. I did not know how to get quiet and feel my own feelings.Believing, trusting in, and turning my will over to my higher power resulted in miraculous changes in me. I learned to let go and stop controlling others, to fe ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading Seeks Submissions

August 20th 2022 PDT

Have any of the Weekly Reading been helpful or thought-provoking for you?Consider submitting *your *story and sharing your insight with other CoDA members! How has CoDA changed your life? Sharing your experience, strength and hope may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Everybody in CoDA has a recovery story to tell.  Please email to: Some Possible Topics (could include, but not limited to):1. Sharing your Strength and HopeHow CoDA and the Twelve Steps have made a positive imp ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/17/22

August 17th 2022 PDT

I Trust Those Who Are Trustworthy“I [learn to] trust those who are trustworthy” ~ Promise Seven.Before attending my first CoDA meeting, I had an open-door policy for trust. I trusted people and what they said – until they gave me a reason not to. With the help of CoDA’s 12 Promises, I’ve learned to protect myself by trusting people’s actions, and not just single actions, but actions repeated over time. Now my window of trust (which is no longer a door) is only open for those whose actions match their words over time - t ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/2/22

August 2nd 2022 PDT

My Journey on My Path to RecoveryI started working the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions with my sponsor. I began writing stories that I could share at my CoDA meetings. I knew I felt safe there and no one would criticize me. That was something I wasn’t used to.When I wrote my “AHA” moment and read it to my sponsor, she suggested I send it to CoDA. I was surprised that she thought enough of my writing to even consider it worthy of such an organization. That is how low my self-esteem was. Her encouragement and belief in ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/26/22

July 26th 2022 PDT

No Longer LostI grew up in a household that provided a great training ground for codependency. My mom had lived through great tragedy and, in addition to dealing with post-trauma, suffered from other forms of mental illness. At one moment, she could be funny, charming, sensitive, and generous, and the next, flying into a rage that was accompanied by shaking, screaming, breaking things, making threats, etc. My father, who was an abuse survivor, was the exact opposite: quiet, introverted, and never wanting to get involved ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/19/22

July 19th 2022 PDT

Keep My Head and My Feet in the Same PlaceFour weeks from my wedding Omicron was tearing through my county. What if my mom catches it and can’t come? What if his immunocompromised mother catches it on the flight, in the restaurant, at the wedding and we kill her? What if I catch it? How do you have a wedding without a bride? Or a groom?After a few days of unmanageability, I finally reached out to my sponsor who offered me: “Keep your head and your feet in the same place.” My feet were in January, but my head was in Febr ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/12/22

July 12th 2022 PDT

Meetings With “A Lot of Recovery”I’ve been in this program for six years. In that time, I’ve attended a wide variety of meetings; each with their own format, structure, and style. I‘ve been welcomed and understood, over and over. I have experienced a sense of belonging like the Twelve Promises of CoDA mention. I have noticed some common threads that make that possible:·         Experienced CoDAs offer healthy modeling by listening well and sharing honestly.·         ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/5/22

July 5th 2022 PDT

Making Lemonade in RecoveryMy CoDA Step Study group shared a daily reading and it touched on the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” A fellow group member shared the below statement and it inspired me to reflect and write more on the topic.“My lemonade turns out better if I don’t abandon myself making it” ~ Dora Lee M. (included with permission).This is what I took away from both…If I abandon myself while making my lemonade, especially if I do so before I add the sweetness…my lemonade and my life may end ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/28/22

June 28th 2022 PDT

Being in CoDA has taught me a lot about my control patterns. I’ve recently realized that I can’t help but want to control the emotions of everyone around me. And more importantly, I have worn myself down into a pattern of deciding for my loved ones what they should be thinking or feeling.I suffered sexual abuse as a 10-year-old. My family covered it up because the perpetrator was my brother. I am 30 now, but I am still firmly entrenched in the victim role. This means I can’t stand it when members of my family don’t reac ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/21/22

June 21st 2022 PDT

I grew up with codependency all around me in my family. Now I have my own life, but the scars still show, and I have triggers.I am doing positive things to help myself. Coming into CoDA has helped me a lot. I do online meetings and have a sponsor who kicks my butt if needed. I have been around two years now. I have been married all this time and this program has helped my marriage. It’s helped me to be aware of stuff that I wasn't aware of before.As a result of CoDA, I have a positive outcome. I have learned much about ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/14/22

June 14th 2022 PDT

Me, a Writer?I have difficulty with writing. When I began my journey in CoDA six years ago, I couldn't even imagine writing in a journal or answering the workbook questions. The idea that I might eventually submit something for the Fellowship to read was unfathomable. Part of my problem was believing I had nothing of value to add; I didn't even think my words were worthy of being put in ink on a page. The other challenges revolve around the more practical aspects of composition.I found my voice by sharing in meetings. W ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #23 is online now!

June 7th 2022 PDT

Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed "Feeling Grateful" is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers.There is plenty of ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/31/22

June 7th 2022 PDT

ProjectionProjection: In recovery I no longer remain in denial by accusing others of behavior that is mine to correct.Projection can be defined in many ways … projecting an image on a screen is one example from our CoDA Book. Projection can also be defined as “a mental image viewed as reality”. The psychological definition that resonates most clearly for me in my recovery is “the unconscious transfer of one's own desires or emotions to another person: we protect the self by a number of defense mechanisms, including repr ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/31/22

May 31st 2022 PDT

Abandoned in LoveI’m a codependent. I’ve been in CoDA for 10 months now and have been attending the CoDA Strong Monday meeting consistently all of that time. I have a CoDA sponsor and I’ve worked through all Twelve Steps with him. We are now engaged in working the Twelve Traditions with a focus on how they can help us with relationships.That brings me to my current CoDA issue with my wife. Over the past five years of my sobriety from pill and sex addiction, my wife and I have enjoyed somewhat of a honeymoon. So I forget ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/24/22

May 24th 2022 PDT

My StoryI've had a taste of recovery and yet I am reminded daily of how much work I have to do. Several months ago, I had fallen into a deep chasm of codependency. I was losing my self-esteem and I was incredibly desperate for that fix of validation or that sense of control I had being a caretaker.For the first time, instead of running into the arms of a woman I became a part of this Fellowship. I listened to the stories of others and found commonality. I found a home and one that was more healthy than the home I grew u ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/17/22

May 17th 2022 PDT

When I ignore my need for recovery I go into states of self-delusion, illusion, self-hate, magical thinking, isolation, superiority, and inferiority. When I sit in the truth that I need help and support, I humble myself to my higher power and seek recovery. My higher power wants me to recover so that I can be what I am meant to be, precious and free.  Steps are steps for a reason. The only way out is through. I once went to a guitar shop and a guy heard me play and asked me if I wanted to learn how to get better fa ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/10/22

May 10th 2022 PDT

Letting Go of People Pleasing Codependent characteristic of people pleasing may have been based on my alcoholic parent always saying “no” … sometimes before the question was completely out of my mouth. “Mom, can I ..” NO.Needing approval, needing a “yes” that never came, I sought that approval from others. I’d go out of my way to be “liked”. If I got into an elevator with a stranger, I’d know their history before we reached our floor and they would “like” me.With the help of my higher power, whom I call God; CoDA h ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/3/22

May 3rd 2022 PDT

ACCEPTING LOVEI wrote this shortly after Covid-19 shut everything down. I felt very lonely and isolated from my family and friends.My low self-esteem defects have come out in full force trying to knock me over. The trigger: gifts my daughters have been sending me. Each one sent me a special gift this week. A personalized notepad from my youngest; my favorite scented candle that happens to have YOU ARE LOVED on the outside from my middle; a pair of slacks from a special store my oldest and I visited on a recent NYC trip. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/26/22

April 26th 2022 PDT

Shy’s Tradition 3 Prayer:The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.God, I like the phrase my sponsor uses: “judgy pants.” These pants were worn all day long by the ladies in my family of origin. Naturally, I had my own custom-fit judgy pants that I was born into. Oftentimes I was unaware that I slipped into them like some nanotechnology from Iron Man. Now, because of this Fellowship and this Tradition, these pants are starting to feel like leather pants in the summer -- ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/19/22

April 19th 2022 PDT

I have always loved losing myself in stories. For one thing, it was an easy escape hatch to get caught up in another world, to be fully immersed in a fantastic story or a new realm. For another, I could control what I wanted, but also banish what I did not want: to be alone, to feel unloved, to be gay. Good stories have a clear beginning, middle and end. I wanted my life to be a concise, linear story. I saw my brother’s death before I was born as the beginning of my story and finding someone like him to take care of me ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/12/22

April 12th 2022 PDT

Self Value Comes FirstDiscussing our shares with the other members after a recent meeting gave me an answer that might have saved my career as a family therapist more than fifteen years ago. I had done coursework, training and supervision, obtained licensure, and had worked in a number of agencies. I seemed effective working with clients and had some quite notable successes. But I had not been successful working in the agencies. Indeed, those failures were what led me into CoDA.In the meantime, my only alternative was p ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/5/22

April 5th 2022 PDT

Panic in DespairBefore I came to CoDA, I had nowhere to go with my panic and despair. When I found out that my daughter was cutting herself and becoming obsessed with suicide, I was blown away. It was just a couple of days after she’d found out that the boy she liked didn’t like her. She was heartbroken. That was when the depression and the cutting began. It’s been a long road since those early days of my then 17-year-old daughter's suicidal ideation (she’s 20 now). We got her in therapy, and she has a psychiatrist pres ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/29/22

March 29th 2022 PDT

I’ve been in CoDA for about 1.5 years. As I’ve grown in CoDA, I’ve noticed that setting boundaries has really improved my self-esteem. Anything from not interpreting Spanish at work when there are interpreters available (as it is not in my job description) to walking away from unequal relationships.I’ve been single for five years and really interested in sharing my life with someone; however, I’m not willing to settle. I met a girl who was seven years sober in the same program as I was. She was funny, she was attractive ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/22/22

March 22nd 2022 PDT

Dealing with EmotionsI went to pick up a parcel only to realize that it would not fit in my packsack, so I asked the clerk to keep it and I would come back. The gentleman in the line behind me offered to drive me home with my big parcel if I could wait for him to mail his. I was very surprised and happy because that would save me a lot of trouble. I live very close. We talked and exchanged business cards since we are both artists, and his field would be useful to mine. So far everything was fine. But as soon as he left, ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #22 Is Out

March 22nd 2022 PDT  Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed "Gift of Renewal" MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with CoDA's foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers.& ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/15/22

March 15th 2022 PDT

“….and other systems”I had wondered about the addition of “...and other systems.” to the Welcome when it took place some years ago. Here was this statement CoDA members heard over and over at every meeting attended. What important understanding is being asked of me?It happens that I personally feel more included by it. The family I grew up in was a solid, nurturing family of eight children who went on to responsible lives of contributing one way or another. Yet, I struggled for half a century with not accepting myself. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/8/22

March 8th 2022 PDT

Last night I attended my very first CoDA meeting after reading every book I could find and researching codependency ceaselessly. My codependency is undeniable. My relationships have become much healthier due to my understanding of codependency; however, I need tools. I need a community of people who feel the same way I do and understand my challenges. When I turned my microphone on in the meeting, all I could do was cry. The wave of emotions took me by complete surprise. I am so grateful for this community and cannot wa ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/1/22

March 1st 2022 PDT

Affirmations and LessonsI am enough. I’m recovering nicely. Thanks, 🙏 God. The steps work. Sponsors make it easier. Meetings, where miracles happen.I’m exactly where I need to be. Easy does it. I wouldn’t be here if God didn’t want me here. We are blessed.Accept what is. O D A T. One day at a time. Feel the feeling. Let go and let God. Pray 🙏. Play. Give thanks. Gratitude grows.If we spot it, we got it. Promises happen. Thanks for the lessons. Enough God. Time heals. This is a we program. Trust me program. Progress.How ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/22/22

February 22nd 2022 PDT

I entered CoDA as a confirmed atheist. Yes, I read God in the CoDA literature. The word is everywhere, and I read it without thought. At some point I felt better, and I knew this program would work for me. A few weeks later I realized CoDA is a God Program. I had a dilemma: renounce atheism which was an important aspect of my intellectual bulwark or accept CoDA, God and all. The decision was easy, I thought. CoDA was working; years of therapy did not work.Everything went smoothly; until Step Three. I worked Step Three f ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/15/22

February 15th 2022 PDT

AcceptanceAll my life I have struggled to be what I wanted to be. Sometimes I did things well and felt good about that; most times it was just daily routine or worse, never very satisfying. Then I discovered CoDA and the many ways my thoughts were the source of the churning in my gut. Nevertheless, I couldn’t stop the thoughts; the churning continued.Then one morning as I woke up, I had a new thought, “What if, as an experiment, I decided to accept myself, including faults, strengths, everything, as I am at this moment? ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/8/22

February 8th 2022 PDT

Just a few years ago, I never would have believed what would become one of my favorite CoDA sayings: “Blame keeps wounds open, and forgiveness lets wounds heal.” I was too busy blaming, shaming, and seeking revenge on my alcoholic spouse for years of abuse.I've slowly come to realize I was a willing participant on that roller coaster ride. It was easier to blame someone else over and over, to ignore my own defects and to turn a blind eye, than to face my own fears; so easy to deny the facts, so difficult to face them; s ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/26/22

February 1st 2022 PDT

Step FourPutting myself on the list was a big eye-opener. I recognized how others rejected and abused me. I treated myself the way my mother taught me to treat myself. But I never realized or thought about how I had abandoned myself, abused myself, neglected myself, punished myself; in other words, continued the cycle. This was a totally new concept to me.I had to look at how I had rejected my Higher Power by taking things into my own hands and making a mess of my life. I set aside my moral compass. I sought out sex whe ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/26/22

January 26th 2022 PDT

A Brother, Boundaries, and AbuseThis is what I texted to my brother after his repeated texts about vaccines upon which we profoundly disagree, “I thought we agreed not to talk about this stuff. Please respect my boundaries around vaccine talk.”His response was a barrage of texts, name-calling, wishing me ill-will etc. I blocked him on text, so I wouldn’t be subject to his abuse. Now should I block his phone calls? Emails? Forever? How long? I sent him the rest of the money I’d been “stewarding” for him. In the past he h ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/18/22

January 18th 2022 PDT

Shy’s Personal Step One PrayerGod, I thank You for showing me just how powerless I am over another, and just how unmanageable my life had become - for I was blinded by my codependency. Thank You for opening my eyes and showing me that the only person I have control over is myself.God, You’ve shown me that controlling others is a false sense of security; that looking to others for direction doesn’t support me living my own life; that I have been intruding upon other’s journeys by being in their business; that thinking in ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/11/22

January 11th 2022 PDT

I came into the rooms of CoDA 5 1/2 years ago. My life was truly unmanageable and crazy due to the relationship with my mother. It had become so extreme I had to medicate myself just to go visit her and offer the help that she needed.The first time I heard the Patterns and Characteristics I knew I was home. I was finally in a room with people willing to talk about their painful experiences and offer hope.I jumped in with both feet. I faithfully attended three meetings every week. Eventually I found a sponsor and began w ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/4/22

January 4th 2022 PDT

From Scared to SacredOr, From Scarred to Sacred. I am scarred. I was scared. My life is becoming sacred. And everything that has led me to this point has helped me to create this sacred life. I now know what I want and do not want in my life. No other person directs the course of my life. I am self-directed and pray to my Higher Power for guidance and wisdom constantly.I like how the letters in scared can be moved to create the word sacred. I like how I have moved from a place of fear to a place of connection with my Hi ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading: Call For New Submissions

December 28th 2021 PDT

Call For New Submissions! Have any of the Weekly Readings or Meetings-in-Print been helpful or thought-provoking for you?Please tell us how CoDA has impacted your life. Sharing your experience, strength and hope may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Everybody in CoDA has a recovery story to tell.Consider submitting your story and sharing your insight with other CoDA members! Email: wr@coda.orgSome Possible Topics: (Could include, but not limited to)1. Sharing Strength and Hope How CoDA and the 12 Step ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/28/21

December 28th 2021 PDT

My Coda Experience, Hope and RecoveryI joined CoDA meetings in June 2021, after a series of unhealthy codependent relationships including a marriage of six years. I got over $10,000 in debt in my most recent relationship. I bought a car and furniture for my partner, and became incarcerated (for 14 days) when trying to break up a fight that he was involved in. I was charged with assault amongst other charges. Afterwards I realized it was time that I make some positive changes to improve myself and my life.Thankfully, I h ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/22/21

December 21st 2021 PDT

Steps 1, 2, and 3 in Action Step One: We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.“Delivery exception. Incorrect address-apartment/suite number,” was the latest shipping company’s delivery update status for a package my husband and I were excitedly awaiting. Dread instantly filled the pits of my stomach, then annoyance made its way up to my chest, and then anger filled my heart, my face, turning it I’m sure red! Isn’t it amazing how quickly we go from one emotion to the next?I call ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/14/21

December 14th 2021 PDT

I joined CoDA in September 2019, and that was my first experience with 12 Steps. In CoDA I have learned about my codependent behaviors and how they are not who I am. I have mourned the damage that my codependence has inflicted on my children, my co-workers, and the suffering it has caused me.I can now identify my behaviors when I am in them or shortly afterwards. I now look for internal validation. This has been and continues to be very challenging for me.  My initial reaction is to seek to have my needs met extern ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/7/21

December 7th 2021 PDT

There is a sweet spot in my recovery. I call it the CoDA train. I got on this train in August of 2016. I boarded it in a state of Denial; the city was Survival. As the train gained speed, I looked at the schedule next to the door and found my destination to be Guilt and Shame. I sat down and thought OH NO! I got on the wrong train. But then I thought Survival and Denial are behind me now; maybe there is another connection.I took a flyer out of the seatback, and it said there was a CoDA meeting in the club car at 12:15. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/30/21

November 30th 2021 PDT

Hi, my name is Don and I am codependent. I am blessed. God has given much to me since my first meeting August 9, 2003.My God removed my rage, addiction to alcohol and sexual acting out -- all in my home meeting.Every day I work the Steps, especially Step 1. My wife died in 2007 and in 2019 I remarried. Although I did not intend this it gives me a recovery barometer. My wife does or does not do things that used to upset me in my past marriage. For reasons that I do not understand the behaviors do not upset, annoy, or bot ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/23/21

November 23rd 2021 PDT

As I was journaling with my Higher Power recently, I learned something about myself. I was writing about my marriage relationship and observing my partner's codependent behaviors which are usually different than mine. Keeping my boundaries in place, I did my best to be honest and objective in my observations. As I did, it was as if my HP turned on a light switch in my mind. All of a sudden it was clear that when my partner acted like a victim, consequently, so did I. The clarity was abrupt and impactful. I realized that ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/16/21

November 16th 2021 PDT

A New BeginningHi, my name is Darren and am a codependent. This is the first time I have submitted anything like this but felt it in my heart to do so.I am a treble winner. I first came into 12 Step programs in 2009. I left around 2014. During this time a friend mentioned CoDA. My ‘stinking thinking’ took over. “I am in two fellowships and am not doing another.” Today I am so grateful I am a treble winner and would like to share my journey as a newcomer in the early days of the CoDA program.My sponsor suggested CoDA aft ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/9/21

November 9th 2021 PDT

When I read the CoDA message today, I thought of my sister.I was so dependent on her when I was a little girl. I admired her and she was my caretaker. And most of the time, she rebuffed and rejected me.The CoDA reading was about the freedom that comes with acceptance that I cannot force someone to love me and I am not obligated to love either.I am now in a good relationship where I am not rebuffed or rejected and I see myself at times wanting to discount this person, to say he isn't that important to me or he's not that ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/2/21

November 2nd 2021 PDT

Change of State of Mind At one moment I feel like I have so much to say as a part of my story, and the very next moment I feel like swallowing all that I want to say in this digital footprint.When I was young, I repeatedly felt worthless when any of my comrades had high achievements. Consequently, I surrounded myself with troubled people who could not make me jealous, thereby walking right into codependency. Now that I’ve gained better insight, I’d say to the young me, “it was never their responsibility to make you feel ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/26/21

October 26th 2021 PDT

My therapist laughs when I say that the pandemic hasn't affected me too much because it's not my fault. I laugh too. I couldn't have laughed before CoDA.It's the truth. It's terrible for a lot of people but I am not overwhelmed by it. For years I lived with catastrophic dramas that were not really happening or caused myself a lot of pain for people who couldn't or didn’t care about me.Now something bad is happening but I've learned how to be me—how to like and maybe even love me and that I can rely on myself. That's wha ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/19/21

October 19th 2021 PDT

Hello, my name is Caryn and I'm a recovering codependent.I had been to a variety of 12-Step meetings to support friends and that is how I was introduced to CoDA around 2007. I bought every booklet and pamphlet on the literature table and didn't come back until I went through a serious breakup and realized that I could not get through the pain on my own. My Higher Power guided me to look up the program and find a meeting. When I entered that room, it was the same place I'd been to so many years earlier and an old-timer r ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/12/21

October 12th 2021 PDT

Control Leads to Loneliness  The more I tried to control,The lonelier it got. My expectations raised,And those around me scattered. My disappointments leaked out,And those around me disappeared. Resentments boiled inside me...And those around me were quiet. It was then that I looked And I realized why I was alone.The more I tried to control,The lonelier I got. That was the day I accepted the first step. I finally admitted I was powerless over others and that my life had become unmanageable.  Jan – 7/4/21  ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/5/21

October 5th 2021 PDT

My Sixth Year Chip June 2021 This past year has been challenging for everyone, including me. When the Covid lockdown started, I was amazingly comfortable with the isolation and ignoring my CoDA recovery work. Life was fine and I now had another free weeknight. Then a member of our group decided to head up an online meeting for our group and reached out to several of us to assist in the process. I was enjoying the online meetings, even with our smaller group and with the new people drifting in and out. I could ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/28/21

September 28th 2021 PDT

Hi CoDA Family,I've been in CoDA since 4/28/21. I'm getting in touch with my inner child. I thank the program so much for introducing me to him. He has been confined and sad for a long time. I knew I was in turmoil but didn't know an inner child existed, much less how to parent one. I've been in AA 35 years and Al-Anon 10; they prepared me for CoDA. My inner child and I were traumatized early in life, and it took years of therapy and 12 Step work before we could face each other. To make matters worse, my father inapprop ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/21/21

September 21st 2021 PDT

I see.  I see me. I see my worth and value. I see my excuses and my avoidance. I see my innate goodness. I see my denial and my control.I see my strength and determination.I see my obsession and my fear. I see my guilt and “overreactive conscience” controlling my actions and dependence.I see my budding power and divinity.I see my ability to say “no” or “yes.”I see my growth and progress.I see me.I finally see me. I see you. I see your value and worth. I see your humanity – your mistakes and weaknesses mixed wi ...Continue Reading

CoDA: Missing Meeting In Print Issues

September 14th 2021 PDT

Hello Esteemed Reader,The Co-NNections committee is reaching out to you for help. When the website was revamped a few digital copies of Meeting In Print issues were lost. If you downloaded or printed any of the following issues, we'd appreciate you letting us know so that we can put them back up on the website.  We are missing:  Edition 1 (September 2016)  Edition 2 (December 2016) Edition 3 (March 2017) Edition 4 (July 2017) Edition 5 (September 2017)  Edition 12 (June 2019)P ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/14/21

September 14th 2021 PDT

This is a poem I wrote when I decided I was ready to start working the STEPS. What if today I started a new chapter? A new beginning.What if I found myself with no one to fix?  What if I decided to take control over my life and not yours.What if I realized my loneliness was because I didn’t feel needed anymore?What if my heart, mind and soul finally admitted that I was truly codependent. What if my heart was pounding now, really pounding.What if I had allowed myself to accept the things I cannot chan ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #20 Is Out

September 7th 2021 PDT /Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed /"I Am Still Me"/ MiP is a quarterly publication that gives you the feeling of a live meeting while opening up space for texts, poetry, artwork and even music to help the CoDA community towards recovery. Each edition contains the following elements required in a CoDA group:[*]Welcome [*]Preamble ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/7/21

September 7th 2021 PDT

Experience, Strength, and Hope Here I sit at the end of yet another romantic relationship ravaged by addiction and all its tenant sufferings. The irony is after being in recovery for a decade, I thought I had finally found a healthy person to fully partner with. As I've just discovered, he too has untreated mental illness, untreated addiction and pent up childhood abuse and trauma, like many of the men I've chosen all my life. The most beautiful part of this most recent break up is I haven't lost myself or my life. I've ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/31/21

August 30th 2021 PDT

Hello! I am a codependent in search for recovery.To me, being in recovery is being in peace.Obvious, that I, like a good codependent, am always attracting situations that take out my inner peace.CODA program helps me identify these situations and disconnect myself from them.However, many times, I don't want to.In those moments, I suffer.In those moments, I need a lot of help from my High Power, to have the strength and courage to do His will, not mine.I have a strength believe that the will of my High Power to me is for ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/24/21

August 24th 2021 PDT

I am a recovering addict clean for 4 months now and I have just discovered through CODA that I am a very co-dependent person also. I do struggle with depression along with high and low mood swings at times. I live each day absolutely one day at a time. With childhood trauma, a family that lived to gaslight me it seems, and addiction outcomes from using, all resulting into PTSD. I've finally been directed plainly enough for my very confused mind to understand and engage in CODA that has really opened doors to me finding ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/17/21

August 17th 2021 PDT

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot changeI was raised by a narcissist mother who turned her back on me when I first got married. My spouse was verbally abusive and an alcoholic. I ended my first marriage five years ago only to find myself in two more relationships with narcissists.CoDA helped me to dig deep into myself and to figure out my need to be in toxic relationships and my fear of being alone. I discovered I had huge abandonment issues from childhood because my mother left me in a room at fiv ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/10/21

August 10th 2021 PDT

“A Higher Power gifted opportunity”My name is Dan and I am a 34 year old grateful member living in Madrid, Spain. I have been coming to the program long enough to know I want to continue to seek prolonged recovery from the effects of the family illnesses of addiction and alcoholism. Since my journey in recovery, I have had plenty of opportunities to work with two sponsors on resentments.I came into the program burdened with many resentments towards my mother. I blamed her for all my trials and tribulations with romantic ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/3/21

August 3rd 2021 PDT

  *“We are free. I am free.”* search of recovery.To me, being in recovery is being in peace.Obviously I, like a good codependent, am always attracting situations that take out my inner peace.The CoDA program helps me identify these situations and disconnect myself from them.However, many times, I don't want to.In those moments, I suffer.In those moments, I need a lot of help from my Higher Power, to have the strength and courage to do His will, not mine.I have a strong belief that the will of my Higher Power i ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/27/21

July 27th 2021 PDT

*“CoDA has really opened the door for me”* I am a recovering addict, clean for 4 months now, and I have just discovered through CoDA that I am a very codependent person also. I do struggle with depression along with high and low mood swings at times. I live each day absolutely one day at a time. Childhood trauma, a family that lived to gaslight me it seems, and addiction outcomes from using substances have resulted in PTSD.I've finally been directed plainly enough for my very confused mind to understand and engage ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/20/21

July 20th 2021 PDT

*The Sunken Place* I wrote this as I was entering another relationship where I knew I would lose myself to their desires and wishes, where I already saw the pattern happening that I had played out so many times before. I wrote it before I knew I was codependent or why I kept going through this. I wrote this because I was terrified, because I felt like I was about to lose myself all over again, and nothing is scarier than that.    *_The Sunken Place_* My weakness brings me to my kneesBut not in h ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/13/21

July 13th 2021 PDT

Hot MessMy life before CoDA, well let’s just say it was a “Hot Mess”I have been in one toxic relationship after the other. I found myself always choosing partners that had a long laundry list of problems: drugs, alcohol addictions, emotionally unavailable. For as long as I can remember, I was accepting of my partners’ unhealthy habits, even thrived on them in a way I guess you could say. Thinking I could be the hero in their lives. Yes, I was going to be the one to make a difference in their lives. I was going to be the ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/06/21

July 6th 2021 PDT

MY STORY  as I grow in recovery, I grow in greater self-love ~ in the discovery of who I am.All else fades away.The pain gets less every day.As balance comes to play~ I know one day this skin I'm in,will feel easier to live in~one day at a time. By, Alison M. - 2/2021  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your sto ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/29/21

June 29th 2021 PDT

‘Loyalty to Self Needs Always Comes First’I was raised to be pleasing to other people. On both sides of my family, my job was simple. Make us look good. Obey. And keep your mouth shut. I became so adept at these things that I completely lost any sense of my true identity. At the age of 19, I was suspended from college in an alcohol-related incident that had codependence and sex addiction at its roots. Exiled to a farm in California (a nice farm, but still), I was blessed to receive a book from my mother in the mail abou ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/22/21

June 25th 2021 PDT

‘Living Gratefully’Through my recovery in a 12-step program, I have learned to live the type of life I was created for, happy and in peace. I discovered what Carmen thinks, feels, and wants. How Grateful I am.Before Coda, I did not know what the purpose of my life was. I will live a life surrounded by my codependent patterns, a disaster, chaos just by simply reacting to what happens at the moment and not thinking of healthier choices. My emotions were imbalanced. My codependence patterns were guiding me to live in miser ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/15/21

June 15th 2021 PDT

I am feeling grateful to be recovering and recovered from codependent behaviors in my life.I was raised in a large family - with much-disorganized dysfunction and verbal, emotional, and physical abuse.As I write this, I do not remember having low self-esteem as mine is so strong now and I act upon my courage instead of fears constantly.As a child control was not given to me, so I based my esteem on taking it by getting good grades and trying lots of sports to “own” my body.Yet I so needed affirmations and love of others ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/08/21

June 8th 2021 PDT

“In this moment I know this pain will end and I am grateful.”I’ve lived long enough on this earth to have experienced various painful moments, even painful seasons of my life. I’ve felt loss at the death of a loved one and loss of a loved relationship. I’ve also experienced the extreme joy of bringing new life to the world. Pain and ecstasy in just that one experience of childbirth. I’ve known joy and happiness. Both are as necessary to me as day and night are needed. I need a time to be active, I need a time of rest. I ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/01/21

June 1st 2021 PDT

"Thank You, God, Now I Know”My introduction to Coda came to me via an assistant to my psychiatrist who really did understand my life and me better than the doctor herself. Like most people during that time, it came being given a book, dealing specifically with the characteristics of codependency and through the assistance, and working with the doctor after a hospital episode for depression. It was terribly painful reading certain parts of the book and so I was advised that I should probably attended another recover ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/25/21

May 25th 2021 PDT

‘*‘I Thought I Knew What Love Was’**’*I thought I knew what love was. I thought I had been in love. For a long time, the love I knew was egotistical. It was jealous, it was possessive, it was controlling and it was heavy. It was phone calls asking where each other was and who was there.It was phone checking and name calling throughout arguments. It wasn’t love it was unhealthy obsession. Then in my thirties I found a knew love, an unfamiliar love, a soulful love. It was light, it was joyful, it was kind, it was safe, it ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Is Seeking New Members

May 20th 2021 PDT

Do you love reading? Do you benefit from hearing recovery stories? Do you love listening to the heartbeat of someone's writing? Do you have a knack for editing? Do you love helping someone make their voice heard? Are you drawn to doing service work, but are scared of what that might mean?We need you- Because being scared is normal and humble.Step out with HP and serve with us, as we grow in our own recovery while carrying the message to codependents who still suffer.Once a week the CoDA Co-NNections Committee sends out ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/18/21

May 18th 2021 PDT

‘I* am a work in progress’*I grew up in an alcoholic home and then married an alcoholic/substance abuser. 3 years ago, I took control of my life and left my ex-husband but have recognized a patterned in myself of a codependent. In the three years I took the time to find myself and to love myself but find I am a magnet to those that are addicts or recovering addicts. I am always looking to "fix" others and love others and trying to fill the void that is absent in me. I recently relapsed and fell into a depressi ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/11/21

May 11th 2021 PDT

The Road to Serenity and PeacePart of learning to love myself is being unafraid to show myself. I am an artist and a poet even if not professionally. There is nothing more authentic to being me, than revealing this side of myself that I usually keep hidden within the pages of endless journals never really seen. This year, I challenge myself to be authentic in all ways.I am learning to rid of my Peacemaker self, embrace my ugly shadow self, and learn to love all of me. I struggle immensely when I see people yelling with ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/4/21

May 4th 2021 PDT

Systems: A Magic WordThe Welcome has this extra word in it that doesn’t seem necessary on first reading. “ born out of our sometimes moderately, sometimes deeply dysfunctional families and other systems.” Why not just families and other dysfunctional groups? What is meant by systems?Coda documents, especially the Welcome, say a lot in a few words. Thinking this through has freed me from blaming and shaming by reminding me I have been formed and continue to be swayed by human systems.As a child, I was ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/27/21

April 27th 2021 PDT

Today’s Meetingtoday's meeting is for shedding old patterns and and learning anewtoday's meeting is for affirming my good and sharing my truth of's meeting is for empowering and recovering from shame.Everyday a meeting, one day at a time, healing my story for God's glory.Sara  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to You can review prev ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/20/21

April 20th 2021 PDT

Codependent DollhouseAt 8 years old, I had 4 gorgeous dolls and one short stocky, sarcastic doll who would cut the other dolls down to size by bombarding them with humorous sarcasm and wit, leaving them confused and put in their place. I really identified with this short doll, but where did I learn the sarcastic wit?I felt my family was a big part of that. Always saying whatever it took to disarm me and keep me under the heel.I practiced, honed, and developed a biting wit. Sarcasm has always been my skunk spray or my de ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/13/21

April 13th 2021 PDT

Many Years I Struggled with My ThinkingFor many years I struggled with my thinking. I often occupied any spare time with worrying about other people and my relationships. I could sit in a room for hours and just think, and think, and think! In a sense, I felt comfortable and at ease alone with my thoughts, even the dangerous ones. Obsessing about other people was like my secret power. It seemed to get me the best things in life. I was a “good girl”, a rule follower, and a people pleaser. I got a lot of praise from teach ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/6/21

April 6th 2021 PDT

*‘I Always Thought Codependency Only Had to Do with Romantic Relationships’*I always thought codependency only had to do with romantic relationships, and since I didn’t have issues in that area, I didn’t think it applied to me. However, when I learned codependency can show up in any relationship, I soon realized I had been living my life in a way that was making me miserable and was starting to destroy my relationships with family members. To put it simply, I was becoming more and more obsessed with my mother. I wanted ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/30/21

March 30th 2021 PDT

In my worst of times, after naming the issue codependency, for relief I used to wait on the edge of my seat for Tuesday's CoDA readings. I used to cry a lot and wished that everyone understood my pain. Sometimes I pictured myself drawing and spelling my pain out to all my loved ones, in the forms of tantrums and self-sabotaging disasters. Now it's been two years since I joined and I would like to claim I feel healed in many places, but perhaps not ever yet fully. I catch myself all the time, wondering if I should feel r ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/23/21

March 23rd 2021 PDT

*‘CoDA has Given Me a Space and Structure for Healing’*Growing up, I was rejected by my dad and enmeshed with my mom. What that meant for me was that I was left with no sense of self. I had to do exactly what my dad said or I would be shamed or punished, and I had to do exactly what my mom said because if I didn't, she would abandon me, I would be left with no one.Until joining CoDA, I continued to look for what I should think, feel, and do in others. I learned at an early age how to be an emotional, mental, and verbal ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/16/21

March 16th 2021 PDT

*"When I First Realized That I Was Codependent"* So it starts out when I first realized that I was actually codependent, that it really hit me. I finally figured out WHY I was never comfortable just being alone in my own skin. I always had/have to be with someone to be happy. After a while, I started getting obsessed with it. And worried that I’ll always be alone. That’s when I realized there was something wrong. So I reached out for help. Someone mentioned “CoDA” meetings. And I thought why not, I’ll giv ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #19 Is Out

March 9th 2021 PDT

/Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed /"Live In The Moment"/ MiP is a quarterly publication that gives you the feeling of a live meeting while opening up space for texts, poetry, artwork and even music to help the CoDA community towards recovery. Each edition contains the following elements required in a CoDA group:[*]Welcome [*]Preamble [*]Twelve Steps [*]Twelve Traditions Along with these elements there is ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #19 Is Out

March 9th 2021 PDT

/Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed /"Live In The Moment"/ MiP is a quarterly publication that gives you the feeling of a live meeting while opening up space for texts, poetry, artwork and even music to help the CoDA community towards recovery. Each edition contains the following elements required in a CoDA group:[*]Welcome [*]Preamble [*]Twelve Steps [*]Twelve Traditions Along with these elements there is ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/9/21

March 9th 2021 PDT

*‘My Recovery and Kitties’*Near the beginning of covid, my recovery cat of 16+ years, Sam, got the "can't pee" issue. He had surgery to remedy that and came home with brain damage. His behavior told me he was not comfortable anymore; his quality of life was no longer good. Over time CoDA helped me understand that my cat trusted me to take care of him. To feed him, give him water, a cat box, attention, to brush him, help him when he wasn't feeling well. And part of this is also to realize when the quality of li ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/2/21

March 2nd 2021 PDT

“Becoming myself”I’m going through the steps. When I went through the descriptions and wrote down which ones impacted my life, I laughed and said, “I’m screwed.”But I have an idea of what I need to work on. I was able to leave a toxic relationship that I stayed way too long in, and I have found some peace and contentment in my life. One step at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time is all I can deal with. Through CoDA, I am becoming myself. Thank you and my higher power for this program.&nb ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/16/21

February 23rd 2021 PDT

“When I started to believe”I was raised by a narcissistic mother and married a narcissistic man. I was willing to change roles in my marriage. I was the breadwinner and he was the househusband. Despite having a masters in electrical engineering, he could not get a job in his field. The political climate and his nationality were the barriers. I had returned to school and gotten my nursing degree.I didn’t attempt to leave my emotionally abusive marriage until I witnessed my son imitating his father’s despicable behavior t ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/16/21

February 16th 2021 PDT

*A Weekly Reading* Higher Power for me is simply Truth. I have long been wondering what Higher Power means to me. I have feared that just leaving that to my inner pondering would lead to something covertly letting me off the hook. My patterns are deep and compulsive, influencing my thinking at least as much as my acting. How can I trust, then, a Higher Power of my own (flawed) understanding. Then I learned from a sacred book of a very foreign culture the statement, “There is but one God over all and that God is Tru ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/9/21

February 9th 2021 PDT

“Sanity is acceptance of human imperfection.”I am so grateful to CoDA.I had lived a life not understanding that not everyone has shame to their core.I had thought my childhood did not really harm me but had then spent my life trying to prove I am worthy.I thought if I can be perfect then maybe I can get rid of my shame.I had given my higher power to my abusive father and did not know this.A year ago I was “over fixing” someone else thinking I was being helpful when she said, "I think you maybe are codependent." ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/2/21

February 2nd 2021 PDT

“The gift of experience, strength and hope”As I sit and reflect here in this moment, I do so as the most authentic version of myself that I have ever had the privilege of knowing.I found CoDA and myself in August 2019, following the encouragement of my therapist and at a point in my life where I had finally hit my rock bottom after 40 years of digging. It’s been over a year now and I can honestly say that the program and the fellowship have been an incredible blessing and continue to be in all ways possible. The black h ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/26/21

January 26th 2021 PDT

<F~RAG<Men-TatiON<‘‘Fragmentation: the process or state of breaking or being broken into small or separate parts.’’I was raised under strict, condemning circumstances, which were cold feelings and not a warm nurturing environment. I had to learn survival skills, just to get through a day in my nuclear family existence. Fear was my sidekick, and alertness was my precautionary superpower which was in high gear. When I was sleeping at night and throughout the day I would case the joint looking for potential situat ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/19/21

January 19th 2021 PDT

“A letter to myself”Hello, I would like to share an AHA moment when I was reviewing my notes. I am currently on Step Nine in CODA so I went back and reviewed Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. In Step 8 it mentioned make Direct Amends to all people you have harmed. Of course, I naturally made an Amend to my Higher Power but then came the AHA moment. The person I needed to make amends to was ME! So I wrote a letter to myself. Hopefully, my letter will help someone in their journey of recovery:Dear Linda: You were very helpful in y ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/12/21

January 12th 2021 PDT

“*Entering CoDA has made me aware”*After being in an eight year long relationship, where we broke up and returned four times, it came to an end. From the first breakup I knew I couldn't live without him, I just remembered the good. We tried it three more times, we were even going to get married, but again my deepest fear came back. I no longer trusted him. I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. However, when I was alone, I would forget that and I would want to return to this pointless relationship. Entering CoDA has ma ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/05/21

January 5th 2021 PDT

My Lizard Brain ExistenceI am a grateful, slowly recovering Codependent.I first thought that I had a cat and a dog as pets. However, recently I have discovered a whole other type of a pet which is very different and very destructive one called my lizard brain.I have been learning from my CoDA meetings, sharing, listening to others, as well as through seeing therapists and self-motivated reading on my own that most of my decisions are based upon fear.Fear of rejection, ridicule, the unknown, discomfort, memories of past ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/29/20

December 29th 2020 PDT

“This journey of uncovering, discovering, and healing”From the outside looking in, my childhood was perfect. A mom, a dad, two kids, and a three car garage. As a family, we ran a second generation business and took a vacation at least once a year. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of friends who envied my life.My mom was the golden standard for polishing the appearances to the world, and no one ever really knew about her mental illness or my dad’s alcoholism. Being the baby of the family, I got the hint pretty e ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/22/20

December 22nd 2020 PDT

*Keep Telling My Story* In my family of origin, keeping secrets was sometimes the “spoken” but more often the unspoken rule. My Dad was an addicted gambler and serial adulterer and Mom was an alcoholic. Yet such facts were hardly ever articulated and any verbalization of these truths resulted in knee-jerk reactions of denial, minimization and most of all, rage.              Consequently, throughout my childhood, I was never sure what was safe for me to say ...Continue Reading
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