March 24th 2020
Pandemic The global and local phenomenon of the pandemic has provided me with some challenges and lots of food for thought. I am finding that there are two areas in particular—which I've had to work on a lot in my CoDA recovery journey of the last eight years—that are currently extra challenging to maintain but I feel extra important for me to maintain. Those areas are 1) boundaries and 2) moderating my tendency to catastrophize. Ironically, my physical immune system is important right now, but as I have been encoun ...Continue Reading
March 17th 2020
Are you ready to share your story and help another codependent find their experience, strength, and hope? Sharing your story is the greatest of all CoDA service work. Sometimes, somebody out there needs to hear exactly what you have to say. If you want or need to share your experience, strength and hope with others about how CoDA has helped you, then we welcome you to submit your story. If you believe as we do that the Weekly Reading is a valuable way to carry the message of recovery to the codependent who still suf ...Continue Reading
March 10th 2020
Winds of Resentment Wind whipping violently matches my mood tonight. Even a cloud floating by looks like an angry silhouette of a woman. My dog Redbow happily running around trees without a care in the world. Why can't I be more like Redbow? In time, I too can be happy, joyous and free. As I pray to my higher power the force of screaming winds whip and thrash leaves about in an ominous symphony of power. All this is what I am feeling inside me right now. It's my resentments. I pray for these emotions to be carried away ...Continue Reading
March 3rd 2020
Holidays are a difficult time for me. When I was a child they were a joyous time, filled with gifts and good food. I understood that everything was provided by my parents, no Santa or God. My parents were my controllers. When I got married my husband became my controller; little by little and bit by bit, I lost myself. When we had children the holidays seemed okay to my codependent self. I was under the deception that if my husband made all the decisions everything was okay. I thought I had input but I'm not sure no ...Continue Reading
February 25th 2020
Kindness, and how it's misunderstood. Since I have been in CoDA my kindness is being met by all sorts of different responses and expectations and I must like myself enough to set boundaries when needed, but not in a mean way, or allowing the incident to cause me to withdraw and isolate. I need to learn to be ok with it no matter what, because changing from a caring to a hard, unkind person just isn't in me. I just don't want to allow these different events to disempower me and prompt me to retreat. So, learning to be ...Continue Reading
February 18th 2020
Relationship Bootcamp I isolated, never knowing how to deal with people in a healthy way. I was never shown or taught how. All I knew was how to communicate and deal with people in a manipulative, passive-aggressive way. Being on my own since the age of 14 it became a survival tool that I honed in order to get by. If I told people what they wanted to hear, worked hard and was honest and trustworthy, it would secure me a place in this world and help me gain friends and allies. But how can I be trustworthy if I'm manip ...Continue Reading
February 11th 2020
Pillow Talk I have been in CoDA for over a year now. My husband has been in CoDA for two years and he introduced it to me once I regained some health, dignity and strength after almost dying from abusing alcohol. I had never had a place where I could share my experience, strengths and hopes before. Nor did I think anyone wanted to hear about them. After more than 50 years of not being able to speak, to now be encouraged to speak in order to heal seems so foreign to me. “Suck it up. Get over it. Don't let people see ...Continue Reading
February 4th 2020
The Abyss. Over three years ago I knew I needed help. I was not making it. Everything hurt. Everything. Of course, I had a great smile to put on all of it, and I was sure that I would be able to push through by pleasing and charming others. I figured I was just simply not meeting the right people and that those around me did not fit the ticket. They no longer seemed to fill the abyss of a codependent that simply wanted to be told he is loved—wanted to be told he is loved, cared for, praised, needed and to be told that ...Continue Reading
January 28th 2020
Fear-Based Survival Fear has robbed me of fifty-three years. In the past, whenever bad things happened I developed coping mechanisms such as aloofness, isolation, astral and out-of-body travel, sarcasm and self-inflicted pain as ways to have control in my life. I honed these survival tools into strong weapons that I used on myself or anyone else who was a threat to my safety or well-being. They served me well in my teens and twenties but have become the very things that are preventing me from fully embracing life or m ...Continue Reading
January 21st 2020
Co-dependency Used To Rule My Life Co-dependency has ruled my life for 62 years. I was attached to someone, giving all I was and forgetting about my needs. I seemed to end up with takers that would take advantage of my kindness. I also thought that I wouldn't be loved if I didn't do for others. When love did not get returned I became depressed and did a lot of negative self talk. I really didn't know there was a type of living that was called co-dependent. I married a co-dependent and he was all about me and I revolve ...Continue Reading
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