January 15th 2019
A Reflection about the Slogans */I practice gratitude. / I adopt an attitude of gratitude./* */In order to feel grateful, first I need to trust./* */In the morning, I decide what sort of day I am going to have./* */You can’t keep it if you don’t give it away. /* I had to spend several years working the CoDA program – at least five – before I began to understand what the subject of gratitude was all about and its importance to my recovery process. Since I came to the Twelve Steps a very damaged person – after 4 ...Continue Reading
January 8th 2019
Today we have 3 short readings for you. I was well hidden in my codependent behaviors or at least I thought I was. I had to be better than everyone around me so that I wasn't overwhelmed with shame. I accomplished that by finding flaws in everyone and imagining myself to be a superior spiritual person. The distancing of this strategy was isolating and unsustainable. My first CoDA meeting gave me hope. My first sponsor gave me the steps and, along with weekly meetings and multiple step studies the CoDA program brought m ...Continue Reading
January 1st 2019
I've been in CoDA for a long time (my first meeting was the last Wednesday in August 1992, LOL). I'll never forget when I entered that meeting and everyone shared their name. One woman said, "I'm __________, I'm a codependent and a compulsive addict." After one year of only partially fitting in with another 12 step program, I had found home. I've learned a lot of useful things in CoDA, moderation being one of the most important. Although 26+ years later I still have to work on that on a daily basis—sometime ...Continue Reading
December 24th 2018
There was a time when the holidays were about lights, and candy, and wonder, and anticipation. We were *commanded* to be giddy over the religious overtones of the season. And to keep the codependent peace, we outwardly acquiesced. But in our hearts, it was really the toys and the big fat man – the true lord of childhood – that actually counted. Time elapsed, and like so many others, I was dismayed and disillusioned to find that our toy lord was just another fairytale sold to us by Corporate America. A mere concoction ...Continue Reading
December 11th 2018
I sit in my office looking at the poster that I see every day, which says in big red and white letters: “Our company wants you to wear Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)”. The more I looked at this phrase the more I thought about my breakdown today that made me have to call my sister. The anxiety just started to build in me. I don't know where it came from and it set in fast. I started to drown. The only thing I could think of is that I didn't want it to go down like I know it could. I am at work for crying out loud. ...Continue Reading
December 4th 2018
The Loss of Higher Power. When I came to CoDA I had an unspoken struggle with Higher Power. I lost Higher Power and it was the biggest loss of myself in life. Eventually I decided to pretend I believed in Higher Power, because I needed hope. I used to love the Silence. I would set my alarm for 3 am, get up, get on my prayer stool, and meditate. Afterwards writing would pour out of me. Discipline of the heart does not allow for electronic distraction. Recently I stayed with someone who was addicted to watching mo ...Continue Reading
November 27th 2018
/Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed /"Fall Focus"/. MiP is a quarterly publication that gives you the feeling of a live meeting while opening up space for texts, poetry, artwork and even music to help the CoDA community towards recovery. Each edition contains the following elements required in a CoDA group: [*]Welcome [*]Preamble [*]Twelve Steps [*]Twelve Traditions Along with these elements there is plent ...Continue Reading
November 27th 2018
I walked into the rooms feeling tired of being tired. Thinking I have spent all I could to have a good life and it’s just not so. I was aware the man I was dating for eight years, on and off, was a drug to me and was killing me more than giving me any high. I wanted out but had no idea how or if I had the energy to do it. I tried before, only to return to the poison he gave me. I lived off being the victim. I can look back now knowing I enjoyed sharing my sorry life with others because it gave me validation. I lived ...Continue Reading
November 20th 2018
At times over the last nine months of attending CoDA meetings, I have wondered whether this is really the right place for me. The stories I hear often recall times of such intense sexual, physical and emotional abuse, which I did not experience. I believe that scares some newcomers like myself away. However, the women (and men) that I have met in my two different meetings have listened to my shares and offered support that has made a huge difference in my life, and I am so grateful for that. I have become aware of my ...Continue Reading
November 13th 2018
I was a hoarder. Because of my codependence I could not tell where I ended or began. I could not tell what beauty existed outside of me and what was within me. Therefore I could not throw out things of beauty in case they existed inside me and were important. But my husband could. Every time we went to throw out the accumulation of family life he would take something from me that I did not know was precious and that was the first thing to go to the dump. When my dancing medals and cups from my childhood dancing com ...Continue Reading
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