October 1st 2019
I lost a friend to suicide this week, and even though it was devastating and upsetting it hasn't debilitated me and I can see the Higher Power and my program of Codependents Anonymous at work. I also lost a friend a couple years back who was like a daughter to me. The only way I knew to get through it was to numb it with alcohol. I abused alcohol so badly that I had to spend five months in the hospital fighting for my life. The past year and a half I have been abstinent from alcohol and have been getting stronger ever ...Continue Reading
September 24th 2019
I was unhappily married for 14 years. Since then, I never had a “real” or “normal” relationship. I was good with keeping things superficial but didn’t fully realize that this was a strategy for keeping safe. I could never allow anyone to see the REAL me—it simply wasn’t good enough! Finally, many years later, I set out to have a “legit” relationship. I felt so hopeful, but two failed relationships later, I found myself falling apart in every way when they ended. I was beside myself. I was left feeling broken and having ...Continue Reading
September 17th 2019
I have recently realized that my tardiness has to do with social anorexia, controlling patterns, selfishness, slothfulness, false pride, perfectionism and fear. It surprised me to see all those factors contributing to me being unable to arrive early to meetings. I recently decided to start an experiment where I leave early for meetings. I wanted to be useful and of service to participating fellow travelers. When I was leaving earlier than normal to make it to a meeting yesterday, I clearly felt fear arise in me. It w ...Continue Reading
September 16th 2019
/Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed /"New Freedom"/ MiP is a quarterly publication that gives you the feeling of a live meeting while opening up space for texts, poetry, artwork and even music to help the CoDA community towards recovery. Each edition contains the following elements required in a CoDA group: [*]Welcome [*]Preamble [*]Twelve Steps [*]Twelve Traditions Along with these elements there is plenty ...Continue Reading
September 10th 2019
*Owning My Power* I own my power when I am clear with my boundaries, when I take full responsibility for my part and don’t take any responsibility for someone else's part. I own my power when I use the words "I", "I want", "I will", "I can", "Will you help me with ...?" I own my power when I let go of someone and sincerely wish them all the best. I own my power when I say "No, I can't do it this way. How about doing it this other way?" I own my power w ...Continue Reading
September 3rd 2019
*My Four Year Chip* I grew up in a less than nurturing family. My father was scary and abusive to all of us. Physically beating up my brothers and mother. And sexually abusing my older sister and me. My mother was very afraid of him. We all walked on eggshells living in fear about the next violent outburst, which was not often but very volatile. We did everything in our power to please him and not upset him. Relief came when they divorced when I was 10. My mother then went on to marry a military guy but drinking on w ...Continue Reading
August 27th 2019
Conventions and retreats with the larger CoDA fellowship have been a big part of strengthening my recovery over the years. It was at my first CoDA convention that I witnessed functional ways of dealing with conflict. I watched two workshop presenters who were preparing their presentation and struggling to be on the same page pause, say the serenity prayer together and start their conversation over. At conventions and retreats, I receive the gift of fellowship and an expanded understanding of the worldwide fellowship o ...Continue Reading
August 20th 2019
My Four Year Chip: I grew up in a less than nurturing family. My father was scary and abusive to all of us. Physically beating up my brothers and mother. And sexually abusing my older sister and me. My mother was very afraid of him. We all walked on eggshells living in fear about the next violent outburst, which was not often but very volatile. We did everything in our power to please him and not upset him. Relief came when they divorced when I was 10. My mother then went on to marry a military guy but drinking on wee ...Continue Reading
August 13th 2019
How the CoDA Twelve Steps Changed My Life. I am a new person thanks to the Twelve Steps for I understand the nature of my disease now. It is a spiritual disease and the Twelve Steps is a spiritual program, which is perfect to heal my ailment. My spiritual disease can only be healed by reconnecting me with a Higher Power. I understand now that nothing and no one can replace God. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and a codependent mother. As a child I resented my father for drinking, bringing trash home, and ...Continue Reading
August 6th 2019
We don't need to do this anymore ! ! Having been raised in physically and mentally abusive environments I developed coping mechanisms to help me get by in life. For over 50 years I've used these tools and they became who I think I am as a person. If I remove them, then do I cease to exist? I've been working on my codependent issues in CoDA for six months and I've learned that they're nothing more than character defects. I need to pinpoint them and eradicate them. The problem is that these behaviors are ingrained so de ...Continue Reading
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