Learning New Tools

I'm Lisa K. from Canada, and I've discovered I'm codependent.

I found my way to these rooms via another 12-Step program (Nar-Anon) and find I identify more here. It's amazing and painful but also wonderful and I'm no longer alone in this struggle.

Since I'm new to CoDA, I've been joining in on internet meetings and happily stumbled across a wonderful CoDA group meeting. The amazing lady that chaired was Jocelyn. She has helped me and many others and so this is her story of experience, strength & hope I'm describing. (She said you were looking for stories and suggested I share.)

Jocelyn has many healthy insights, anecdotes, and stories that she readily shares with the group. I loved one about over-sharing when I had asked her about why codependents do this.

She said she has two rooms ... two libraries, and she has books, lots of books. In one room the books are full. They are the finished stories of her life. She said she is not ashamed of her Books in this room. It's like a big library of her life and she is the only person that gets to read them, to check-out these books. AND only she gets to decide who is allowed to read those stories in her private library of books. Some people get to read, some don't, only she decides!

She used to let everyone read her old story books and over-shared. Now she is selective. However, she feels safe sharing in her CoDA group meetings with people who understand and can relate to her stories.

Jocelyn also has this 2nd big room of beautiful books, but these beautiful books are all empty. They haven't been written yet. They are her healthy CoDA future. And only she will decide who gets to read these new stories. I just love this!!

ALSO When I shared with Jocelyn that at times my brain feels like it's spinning out of control with thoughts and chatter, she had another great story for me.

She said when her "CoDA crazies" are spinning in her head, she knows they hate the bright lovely light of her Higher Power. So, when she shines the light of her HP over the CoDA crazies they scurry away and die. I can now envision the light of my Higher Power shining brightly and exterminating my CoDA crazies in my head, LOVE IT!!

Lisa K. 8/14/2023

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.