CoDA Weekly Reading 2/8/22

From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 2/8/22
Date: February 8th 2022

Just a few years ago, I never would have believed what would become one of my favorite CoDA sayings: “Blame keeps wounds open, and forgiveness lets wounds heal.” I was too busy blaming, shaming, and seeking revenge on my alcoholic spouse for years of abuse.

I've slowly come to realize I was a willing participant on that roller coaster ride. It was easier to blame someone else over and over, to ignore my own defects and to turn a blind eye, than to face my own fears; so easy to deny the facts, so difficult to face them; so easy to stay on the roller coaster ride with all the ups and downs. I was ashamed and angry at both of us and felt things would never change. Sobriety led to one disappointment after another. Little did I realize what a huge part I played in that dysfunction.

Eventually we parted ways. Life seemed more peaceful ...for a while... until I realized I wasn't as perfect as I thought. I had issues of my own to face - the lingering issues I had never dealt with in the past. I never saw the part I played by trying to control the uncontrollable. I spun further out of control, repeating my same old bad behaviors in new situations. I knew I needed help. I finally accepted I was powerless.

CoDA, as well as my faith, spouse, supportive family and friends, have all contributed to the changes I try daily to make in myself by being more honest with myself. I'm much more aware of how my old behaviors no longer fit. I try daily to do unto others as I would have done unto me. I had to have compassion and forgiveness for others first; only then could I begin to have compassion, love, and forgiveness for myself. It had to begin with me.

I'm grateful every day for the recovery path I'm on. I'm thankful for my belief and acceptance in myself. I see it in better relationships. I know I'm not perfect and never will be...and that's ok.

Thank you, CoDA, for showing me the way to let it begin with me.

 Dee - 1/4/2022

 

 

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.

 

You can review previous 2015 - 2022 readings here: https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/ .

Older readings are here: https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email info@coda.org

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email espanol@coda.org or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.

https://coda.org/privacy/