CoDA Weekly Reading 10/13/20

From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 10/13/20
Date: October 13th 2020

If I am going to do this, I must go all the way

 I have buried trauma from a very young age, and around 30 more years after that. I learned very early how to conceal and block anything my heart and mind couldn’t handle.

A couple of years back, it erupted like an active volcano, destroying most everything I held sacred. My spirit shriveled up and died like a worm that didn’t make it back into the dirt before the sun’s full rise. I was in an alternate reality, which I had created myself. Nobody was getting in, and I wasn’t going out. I used my dogs as a reason to avoid get-togethers and parties or trips. I have been in recovery for nearly two years, and CoDA is helping me to face myself and feel everything so I can move past It and heal. I think I need to go back and revisit and re-examine the trauma through CoDA lenses. I get a different perspective by doing this and can make sense of it, so I can release it into the wind and move forward to a brighter, more productive future.

A therapy used for PTSD has been an ongoing thing for me, and memories resurface. It’s hard for me to find a therapist to help me work through my dark memories, but I have to do it. If I am to embark on this journey of self-healing and discovery, I will need a therapist who can go all the way with me, not one who ushers me out or ignores my need to go back. If I can’t commit to that, then I better not even start in the first place.

So I ask my higher power to help guide me out of the potentially dank submission of what others want me to do to be accepted. If I am going to do this, I must go all the way, or why bother even start?

Thanks for reading my story

Pamela W. - August 22, 2020



Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to


You can review previous 2015 - 2020 readings here: .

Older readings are here:

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here:

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.