CoDA Weekly Reading 04/14/20

From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 04/14/20
Date: April 14th 2020

And The Oscar For Best Actor Goes To:

I think that abused people are the greatest actors of all. They have to be. They spend their whole lives trying to hide the pain, shame, and brokenness behind humor and a smile so people don’t know how defective they are. I am one of those people.

I made jokes, did whatever it took to weave a web of kindness around others to distract them from the mistake that was me. Always on the verge of tears, teeth clenched into a forced smile as I performed my way into a dramatic ICU scene two years ago. However, this was no performance or dream. It was real and I was dying.

Some people pick themselves up when they fall but I broke down like an old jalopy . I could try to prevent the inevitable but everything breaks down after a while, even the spirit.

I would get very drained after being in a large crowd and had bad social anxiety. I wasn’t allowed to go (out) or do much when I was growing up, and forced isolation and chores, as well as many restrictions sitting by myself in my bedroom, only allowed out for school, meals and housework

Nowadays, I still need a couple (of) days to recharge after being around people. I need that time or I become very unbalanced. I am learning from my CoDA program how to be more honest, open and vulnerable in my relationships so I can swim with the tides and not against them.

It’s not easy for me and I do need to take interval breaks to calm and recharge my spirit, and that’s okay, just as long as I keep getting back out there and showing up where it counts. Thank you for reading my story.

In Peace, Love, and understanding,

Pamela W. - February 26th, 2020


Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to


You can review previous 2015 - 2020 readings here: .

Older readings are here:

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here:

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.