CoDA Weekly Reading 3/12/19

From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 3/12/19
Date: March 12th 2019

Even after initially discovering codependency and reading books that helped me slightly to detach, I never truly knew just how abusive my relationship was until I was recently arrested for domestic violence. Never in a million years did I imagine that I, an attractive, seemingly well put together, young petite woman would end up in jail for two nights, with a battery charge.

My relationship was built on lies, manipulation, alcoholism, jealousy, violencethe opposite of the definition of love. I always knew this but in my mind I was fighting for better days. I stayed and I stayed, and my partner stayed, and lied and cheated, and I built up more and more anger and more and more resentment, but I refused to face it, and I refused to let go.

One night I read messages between him and a woman exchanging I love yous, and I was drunk and in anger threw his tablet and after physically fighting each other, and his Rottweiler biting me a few times, he called the police.

When the cops arrived I admitted to being the perpetrator to avoid his arrest, not knowing I would be arrested instead. I guess I thought it would never happen to me. They took me to a hospital in handcuffs to have the dog bites cleaned and stitched and I spent the next two days in ja< /span>il.

Its been three months since this incident. I have had no contact with him since and I am struggling so much to move past this, but I am so proud of myself for my progress. With the help of CoDA readings and therapy I have discovered many reasons for having lost myself the way th at I dId. I wrote this poem hopIng to reach out to those experiencing anythIng similar to what I've been through. I know what it feels lIke to hide in lonely dark corners that you think no one else has been In. I often wondered: what the hell happened to me? I often must remind myself, I can do this. I can recover.


What happened to you?
So you are burned and bru
You escaped the belly of
and you’re st
ill battered and used

You still miss your abuser
but you don’t tell a soul
to avo
id their confusion
ion strong rooted

You’re so weak to the enemy
Let h
im run you in circles
Let h
im brIng you to your knees
To beg and plead

What happened to you?
You can learn
How to s
it in your bones
your scars
They will show
As s
igns of strength
And tremendous growth

You can shine
Brighter Than your aggressor
ighter Than your dependence
ighter Than the toxic situation
You can take deep breaths
You can pray
The pa
in to go away

What happened to you?
You forgot you are
Born alone
is you
Who must create
Your own home

And a man who puts his hands
Around your neck
suffocate your soul
Will always cause
Chaos beyond your control

Can you see what you miss?
What love you’re longIng to k
Maybe next t
He w
ill hit with his fist
What happened to you?


Best Regards,

Monica M. – 11/30/18


Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to


You can review previous 2015 - 2018 readings here: .

Older readings are here:

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here:

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.