July 23rd 2019
Howdy, my name is Gayle and I am a grateful recovering codependent. I am sixty years old. My mom got pregnant with me when she was sixteen. My dad was 21 and they were mostly complete strangers when they were forced to get married. Two more children came quickly. I grew up as a caregiver for my siblings. I believe that this responsibility was the beginning of my co-dependency. I was raised in a family where my dad was a dry drunk, workaholic and a sex addict. My maternal grandfather was a pedophile whom I call the ra ...Continue Reading
July 17th 2019
We're writing today looking for CoDA members who would be interested in contributing to the Weekly Readings. We're looking for new material to send out for the Weekly Reading. We are especially looking for articles describing how the program helped you find recovery, happiness & serenity. We are also open to submissions that speak of the pain and struggle associated with recovering from Co-dependency. The format of the submission is left up to you. We may potentially accept any submission related to recovery. Sugg ...Continue Reading
July 16th 2019
I grew up in a family with secrets and dysfunction. Life has not been normal for me from as far back as I can remember. Too many childhood memories of trauma, confusion, loneliness and despair to count. Although therapy, self-help books and support from others has contributed so much to my self-care and healing, this 12-step program helps me where I am powerless, life is unmanageable, and I need to take accountability and responsibility for my life. It is a highly emotional yet deeply spiritual experience for me worki ...Continue Reading
July 9th 2019
I used to have this masochistic way of walking backwards with a blindfold on, to slither under fabricated comfort to attempt to alleviate the intensity of recovery. I’ve learned to just be more forgiving of myself. So what, I used to offer my love to the wrong person in overwhelming waves of desperation. But I’ve learned, nothing good ever came of it. I’ve been staring my co-dependency straight in the eyes, asking it one million questions, finding out its secrets, and weakening its strengths. Where did you come from? ...Continue Reading
July 2nd 2019
Having codependent habits is discovered when pain comes to a boiling point. A transitional point where awareness of imbalance is felt so intensely that no return to that point is an option. The only option is to find balance and healing, to find a different way. Married too fast too young: I married at the age of 18, had my first child at 19. I had known my now ex-husband for a little over three months before we were married. I did not even know the man. He wanted a family and so did I. He was a handsome Air Force ma ...Continue Reading
June 25th 2019
' I LOVE YOU BUT...' Over the past 50 years most of my relationships have come with conditions. In order to be loved, I would have to change something about myself to make another person feel comfortable or happy. I would bend to their will desperate for love and approval. Nothing I did would yield the desired effect and it was never good enough or appreciated, So I would try harder to fit into the mold they wanted me to and many times I wound up being an extension of them. I would twist myself up this way and that tr ...Continue Reading
June 18th 2019
I spent the majority of my life trying to control everything I feared or deflect and distract myself from my fears and self loathing. I had lived in a dysfunctional household where trauma and neglect occurred on a daily basis. My mother was divorced with 5 children and we had an abusive father who abandoned us. He traumatized my 2 older sisters with sexual abuse and the rest of us with financial neglect. My mother endured and worked full-time while we struggled to live without much supervision. We were in a tiny 2 bed ...Continue Reading
June 11th 2019
The Four Magic Words of Recovery Magic for me are the words, “ouch”, “oops”, “help” and “no”. I don’t know where they came from. Like so much CoDA wisdom, that will probably always remain anonymous. Wherever they came from, they serve me well. “Ouch” is the first one because I have to start by paying attention to myself. Ignoring hurts is not ok, not only physically but also emotionally. It is not ok for me to be berated or talked over or dominated or even ignored. I have a right to be a respected part of any group ...Continue Reading
June 4th 2019
I have recently celebrated two years of continuously "showing up" for myself through the CoDA program. Before attending my first CoDA meeting, I felt extremely victimized by my relationships and the external world. I had no clue I had been giving all of my own choices and power over to other people—my close relationships especially. Growing up in a dysfunctional home where I felt deeply from childhood that my worth stemmed from my helpfulness and needlessness, I did not allow myself to get to know the real Ka ...Continue Reading
June 3rd 2019
/Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed /"Precious and Free"/ MiP is a quarterly publication that gives you the feeling of a live meeting while opening up space for texts, poetry, artwork and even music to help the CoDA community towards recovery. Each edition contains the following elements required in a CoDA group: [*]Welcome [*]Preamble [*]Twelve Steps [*]Twelve Traditions Along with these elements there is ...Continue Reading
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