October 20th 2020 PDT
Good morning, I've been reading weekly readings and thinking about how codependency has run rampant in my life, and what I have done to heal. I was adopted by loving parents and my family, shortly after my birth. My mom grew up in a family that had abuse and dysfunction, so she had a difficult time raising me and helping me develop my emotional self. My dad grew up in a Polish Canadian immigrant family - he became an RCMP member and devoted 50 years to his profession. I revered my dad - he p ...Continue Reading
October 13th 2020 PDT
If I am going to do this, I must go all the way I have buried trauma from a very young age, and around 30 more years after that. I learned very early how to conceal and block anything my heart and mind couldn’t handle. A couple of years back, it erupted like an active volcano, destroying most everything I held sacred. My spirit shriveled up and died like a worm that didn’t make it back into the dirt before the sun’s full rise. I was in an alternate reality, which I had created myself. Nobody ...Continue Reading
October 6th 2020 PDT
It all started growing up with an alcoholic mother and a father who left when I was 12 years old for another woman. I was left taking care of a mom who was emotionally abusive and I basically raised myself. The pain of abandonment was unbearable other times I just tried to survive. Eventually the alcohol took my mother's life. I was 28 years old. It was just another abandonment in my life. I felt that I could just not take any more pain. Fast forward to my adult life. I entered into a physically ...Continue Reading
September 29th 2020 PDT
After more than 40 years of not understanding what was really "wrong" with me, I recently attended my first CODA meeting. After having experienced and been treated for depression, anxiety, headaches, anger, and substance abuse, it seems I've finally come "home" to the root of my problem--co-dependence. Thank you CODA for being available, and for the list of 28 common behavior patterns and attitudes in the "Am I Co-Dependent" brochure. I've never seen myself so clearly ...Continue Reading
September 22nd 2020 PDT
Hi, my name is Caryn, and I'm codependent. Additionally, my brain is a little different from most folks’ because I have a neurological condition that affects the way I feel, think, learn, and communicate. Just like my codependency, I've had this neurological condition my entire life, but I didn't know what it was until just a few years ago. I knew there was something “off” about me and I didn't fit in, I just didn't know what it was or what to do about it. I came to CoDA many years ago with a fri ...Continue Reading
September 14th 2020 PDT
On page 9 in our Co-Dependents Anonymous book, the second paragraph states: “Behaviors that may have served us well in our childhood are now causing our lives to deteriorate.” After reading this I recalled that as a child I had to numb my sense of danger in order to get along with my sexually abusive dad. I was small and did not have a close relationship with my mother, and dad told me not to tell her of his sexual acts or she would be mad. Since dad was my main caretaker and mom did not act lik ...Continue Reading
September 8th 2020 PDT
The Arrow I love the analogy of an arrow: it has to be pulled backwards and then it lunges and propels forward giving direction. I didn’t “plan” to make all of these changes. But there was this incredible discovery of: “I need this.” I need to accept and care for all of me, to live my life armed with the knowledge from CoDA and to apply the knowledge to my life. As I read the 12 steps of CoDA, I got to the point currently where the 12 Steps are not just words or sentences. Every letter and ...Continue Reading
September 1st 2020 PDT
My CoDA Story We grew up in a chaotic household. I am the oldest of 9 kids and took care of my siblings. I recall being out of control when codependency ran my life. I was codependent with my mom and depended on her but she wasn’t dependable. I idolized my mom and thought I was proud of her for buying me lots of clothes, and being the center of attention. My codependency also manifested itself by taking on my mom's feelings and believing it. She used to say “it’s a fact”, when in fact she j ...Continue Reading
August 25th 2020 PDT
Hello, I just wanted to share that throughout my life I've struggled with codependency. I used to do things for others to make me feel better. It was so bad that I would give into my children out of guilt and remorse for the fact that I was an addict. After getting clean and sober and a lot of reading on codependency I realized how truly self centered I really was. Most of my choices and actions were made on the basis of “how will this make me feel?” I used to think: “oh, he's been through so mu ...Continue Reading
August 18th 2020 PDT
Keep Coming Back I’ve kept coming back to CoDA meetings, usually once or twice a week, for almost five years and most recently 3-4 times a week with the availability of online meetings. I’ve been inspired by others' shares, I’ve been vulnerable and received healing from shame and my codependent character defects. Countless times I’ve shown up and been able to encourage a friend or newcomer. Sometimes I’ve shown up and only one or two other people have shown up with me; these meetings are whe ...Continue Reading
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