CoDA Weekly Reading

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Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

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Archived Messages

 

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/18/24

June 18th 2024 PDT

Being Willing to Hand My Will OverHi CoDA,I was a sexually abused and traumatized person and have had complex issues and have been traumatized by the whole experience. As a result, I became lost, isolated, and lost my identity and became codependent on other people. I then became unwell and got a diagnosis of autoimmune disease. I was physically disabled and had to have help daily with my personal care, while having multiple operations and treatment. In the process, I had all my joints replaced and some of my organs rem ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/11/24

June 11th 2024 PDT

mother’s garden where does the linebegin?—I am ending ithereI amending ithereI am so afraidbut I amending it hereI’m lostin whatI was given but it ends—here—deep in my wombmemories ofwoundspassed downfrom motherto motherto motherto meI carry the weightof the womenwho carried the weightof me—and I am so, so heavy. the line is drawn—h—e—r—e—no more daughtersto carry the shameno more sonsspreading the blameno more hatred no more griefno more begging“stay, please—“I end ithereI end itnowI lit the matchI’m burning it do ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/4/24

June 4th 2024 PDT

The Way Out Is ThroughI can’t tell you how many times I have said the words “The way out is through.” I have said them, thought them, and more importantly lived them. I thought about them again recently when I heard someone talk about grief. I have learned that talking about my grief helps me to heal. Keeping the grief inside is too much to handle alone.Their words took me back to my own black hole with loneliness. Loneliness goes to the core of my being. CoDA has helped me begin to shed some light on the darkness and t ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/28/24

May 28th 2024 PDT

She Made a Whole New LifeShe survived the big fight and was ready to live.She took a big leap and crossed the final bridge.She felt the air in between the ramp and the plane.She lifted her foot and thought, "this is it".She sat down and they asked her one thing."Are you headed home?"She looked out at the wing.She replied, "...yeah, I guess I am".She found peace that day despite the unknown.Just one suitcase and her foundation from back home.She arrived so tired and now full of grief.What wa ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/21/24

May 21st 2024 PDT

Turning Humans Into Loving PeopleBefore I came to CoDA, I was in the habit of calling people "humans." I tended to use this term only half-jokingly as an accurate description of alienation, abuse, and abandonment I sometimes felt in my interactions with my fellow sufferers. I had been in CoDA for only six months, and I was starting to feel some hope that it would be possible for me to experience more healthy and loving relationships. But due to my pretty extreme avoidance patterns and a curmudgeonly nature (am ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/14/24

May 14th 2024 PDT

What Took Me So LongAlthough I always had everything a child could want and need, I never felt loved by my parents. I always felt as though I was in the way. Wanting love so desperately, I married at 18 and remained committed to the marriage well past its expiration date. Decades of incompatibility had made us a toxic couple. Of course, I didn’t understand these feelings at the time. It’s only recently become clear to me.Around October 2019, I had an awakening. I was sitting quietly alone late one night when a subtle wa ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/7/24

May 6th 2024 PDT

I Honour Me Dear Me,The same Me who failed MeWho derailed against better intentionsWho failed to mention boundariesConfounded by the sound of consciousnessBewildered and distrusting of My own gutShamed by the lust of whatever rush was in front of MeTeenaged and hungry……I honour TheeFor every hard moment after waking up, You’re there for meInstead of judging, You care for MeMake space so I can lay bare My fear of scarcityAnd without question, You cherish MeWhatever unfairness comes to be, I feel held by your unendin ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/30/24

April 30th 2024 PDT

Happy, Joyous, and FreeGetting help with codependency has been a journey. I relapsed with 16.5 years of sobriety and 15 years in Al-Anon, and mentioned to my therapist that I thought I needed codependency treatment. She didn't agree, and so we kept on the path we were on. I did recover from that relapse and I'm grateful. Felt really good for many years, and then 2 years ago, with nearly 8 years of sobriety again, I felt like I wanted to die, or that my husband had to die. It seemed like the only way out of the pain I wa ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/23/24

April 23rd 2024 PDT

My Primary PurposeI felt called by my HP today to share. It’s been heavy on my mind. I was thinking about this last night. I have been thinking about my primary purpose the last several days as well. I can say that before coming into CoDA, I did not know what I wanted to pursue in life aside from a relationship and marriage. It’s been a hard one because of the individual I was engaged to. Looking back in hindsight, I have realized a few things out of the chaos and tragedies that have occurred...I believe my HP gave me m ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/15/24

April 16th 2024 PDT

The Work: A Poem of Recovery This dysfunction and Codependency was not mine in the beginning.But was driven into meBy circumstances I could not control.My little one, a child, who resides deep within,Is hiding alone… filled with fear and anxiety from the things that hurt so long ago. She wants to know she is loved. She wants to know she is ok. She wants to know she can be just a child.The rebellious adolescent, who still longs to be seen. Who no one heard, even less held….no comfort of love,is angry, defiant, and r ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/9/24

April 9th 2024 PDT

Rabbit HolesI have 22 months in CoDA. My therapist recommended it. My mother was an adult child of an alcoholic. If you had told me 22 months ago, that one of the most difficult steps in the program for me would be the 12th Step, I wouldn’t have believed you. After all, who has a problem with service? Well, I guess I do. It has a lot to do with my previous career. In my late teens until my mid-30’s I was a minister. I thought I knew what service was. I went to seminary, have a master’s degree in Theology, and served two ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/2/24

April 2nd 2024 PDT

Precious & Free  What do you mean, Does that really apply to ME?!  When I joined CoDA It was years in the making Of giving, of losing, Heart and soul up for the taking  Identity lost, If I ever had one of my own Walking into a meeting The first step, felt an impossible one  My life WAS unmanageable I scrawled in the linings What would manageable even look like?? Now, 3 months in, I've started to see the light  Higher ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/26/24

March 26th 2024 PDT

*I Finally See Me*How do I want to start? What do I want to say? What if no one reads it? What if they don't publish it? What if people read it and they hate it?  Rewrite it. Start over.  It's not good enough.  Nothing is ever good enough.  Why do I bother? I never do anything right. I'm such a failure. I should just disappear. People that I love would be better off without me. I just make things worse for them anyway. just look at my mom and dad and ex-husband and ex-fiancé; Look at my kids.. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/19/24

March 19th 2024 PDT

Life’s Greatest Test To be needed or wanted, put on life’s scales…The unknown’s, undone’s, painful despair…But what if the middle is really the blend…Found safe in the place of a loving friend… The road less traveled with much to see…The depths of compassion and being free…To be accepted and celebrated without contest…Or back against the wall and weight to press… A simple vacuum where time stands still…A place of peace and safety, acceptance fills…Where knowledge shared and collectively built…Like a house ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/12/24

March 12th 2024 PDT

Now Programming Self-loveCoDA (Codependents Anonymous) recovery has brought sincere positive changes to my life and has helped me to change my old programming in promises of a new one.One of the Promises that has been fulfilled through this program is "The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear". In my codependency, I often felt depleted and alone, despite being in a room full of others. However, through the support and guidance of CoDA, I have learned to address the root causes of my codependency ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/5/24

March 5th 2024 PDT

Minding My Own Business Minding My Own BusinessI started attending 12-Step meetings when I met a man who was in AA. I attended Al-Anon and ACA, and then Nar-Anon. All were helpful, but somehow something was missing. Then, I found CoDA!I grew up in a family where sibling rivalry was so bad it was actually violent. Our parents only showed favor to one of us and ignored the rest. Five of us fought to be that favored child in the sun for a brief time before being cast into the darkness while another one of us got to be ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/27/24

February 27th 2024 PDT

Using My Tools“You may have breast cancer. We need a biopsy to find out.”These words rocked my world. My life suddenly became unmanageable. My mind started reeling and spinning out of control.So grateful that I had spent the weekend at a CoDA retreat. It was amazing! I made new friends and rekindled old friendships. Saturday night we had a bonfire. I threw my feelings of insignificance into the fire pit. Replacing those old false beliefs I had been holding on to with truths: I am enough. I am lovable. I matter. I deserv ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/20/24

February 20th 2024 PDT

An Opportunity to HealI hear an opening share at my local CoDA meeting about gratitude and my self-pity bristles with antagonism like my dog bristles himself right out of the tub at bath time. The good news is I realize that gratitude is the antidote for my self-pity, and I don't have to stay here, stuck.Sometimes I am brimming over with joy and freedom, and I can identify that my HP will guide me to look thoughtfully forward, towards my journey because it's going to be better than I can imagine. Some days I am flat on ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/13/24

February 13th 2024 PDT

Learning to Thrive Hello, my name is Sean, and I am a grateful, recovering codependent.“Yes, having a major trauma happen to you at age 8 does affect your entire life!” This was the first time I had heard this message. I was in therapy for porn addiction and my therapist said it was ok to recognize my past traumas and that they have an impact on me today as an adult.My journey to CoDA started after a divorce of 25 years. My life completely revolved around my family. I had friends and hobbies, but I really had no purpose ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/06/24

February 6th 2024 PDT

I am a recovering codependent who was in a long-term partnership with an addict. I recently began writing poetry verses to capture that experience. Below are two that deal with my patterns:BamboozledMy eyes are open, there is no denying the cluesMy gut sends a flash warning— things are not copaceticI finally trust myself again, but one conversation with you and the cunning deflection of your word salad leaves me questioning, wondering, as you masterfully plant that seed of doubtSuddenly I’m not so sure, I watch myself b ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/30/24

January 30th 2024 PDT

We all have different feelings about CoDA from time to time. Our feelings are not always positive, but those feelings are a part of recovery too. - Mike H.CODA-SHMODAThat is how I have been feeling lately. CoDA-Shmoda. I don’t even know if that is a word, but it makes me smile. I have been in CoDA about 20 months. I attended a meeting in person for most of that time and occasionally jumped into a meeting online. I stopped going to the meeting I had been going to a couple of months ago and have tried other in-person and ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/23/24

January 23rd 2024 PDT

Happy to Be HereI’m so happy to be here! CoDA was casually mentioned to me by a friend while she was talking about her life. That word instantly caught my attention and I wanted to know more but I was embarrassed to ask and to be judged. I have heard that word almost all my life but never really understood it. One day I decided to text her to ask how I can be a part of CoDA. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.I have been a codependent all my life. My dad was a functional alcoholic and my mom always tried to con ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/18/24

January 18th 2024 PDT

 A Servant Heart Helps Heal My SpiritHi, I'm soon to be 78, and I am God-willing a recovering codependent. I have been a codependent all my life. My mom was a good teacher. My dad was an angry controlling alcoholic. My mom was codependent to him.I had a sad childhood, always a disappointment to my dad. He wanted a boy. I tried all my childhood to be a people pleaser. Trying to be perfect in every way. I still struggle with that in some areas but now with better motives. I got pregnant at 16 on purpose so I could ge ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/10/24

January 9th 2024 PDT

The Long RoadMy name is Christine, and I am a gratefully recovering codependent. I just celebrated 10 years in CoDA. This program has changed my life in so many ways. The Promises continue to come true for me. And I finally love and value myself.It was a long road. My people-pleasing and need to control led me into twenty years of relationships with emotionally unavailable rageaholics, repeating the uncomfortable and fear-filled relationship I had with my father. I did everything for my partners. Everything! But got abu ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/02/24

January 2nd 2024 PDT

*Grace* Frustrated. Sad.Caught up in extremesOf relationship feelings.This too shall pass. Angry, who’s to blame?Shocked. “They” forgot.“They” made other plans.What about me? Hurt? Of course. Assumptions?Absolutely! Layers of storiesaffirming worst fear: not enough.Mistaken beliefs, past life of lies. Insecurity stoking codependent fire.Can’t push down, shouldn’t catastrophize.Grieving, just wanted to connect.Yet angry, surely now detach is better? Torn by polar opposites.Conflicting emotions, a ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/26/23

December 26th 2023 PDT

A Life Without ShameI can't imagine a life without shame, despite how unhealthy it is for me. I continue to follow it and self pity (which for me is shame and victimhood mixed together) down the highway to hell... and to me that's the powerlessness. Step 1 mentions powerlessness and unmanageability. A lot of my Step 1 work deals with understanding what that looks like in my life. What was suggested to me was to act as if and transform the shame into guilt using the tools of CoDA and the accountability from Steps 4 and 5 ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/19/23

December 19th 2023 PDT

Freedom Is RealI finally decided to be true to myself and end a thirty-year marriage to an alcoholic. I was scared, lonely, and unable to properly communicate with others my needs and wants in life. Now I’m at the end of my first year on my own.I've had to learn what I want in life and understand that what I do matters to myself and others. Understanding the true meaning of what it takes to love and care for others. Saying no is not bad. And a positive attitude in living every day with myself does matter.As I grow and l ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/12/23

December 12th 2023 PDT

Finding Someone to Love I found this dating app and I am getting to know someone. This person is codependent but is in recovery and is a wonderful, kind, gentle, caring, romantic, good and big-hearted human being. They are precious and unique and want to be loving, lovable and loved.As I get to know this person, I can see they have been hurt a lot in their life, but in recovery they are healing and want nothing more than to have a healthy and loving relationship. I want to treat this person right, give them all that I n ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/05/23

December 5th 2023 PDT

Step Nine Promises HappenI feel sad. Tired. A bit overwhelmed. Old at 82. I cry often. At night, going to bed. When I wake up in the morning. Some in broad daylight.Stressed. Wife has a new ankle. Recovering better than me with my new knees. Something tells me not to compare.Sad that so many friends are dying, and knowing we are in our overtime. Favorite brother-in-law just died after brief bout with pancreatic cancer. His wife/my sister hasn't communicated with me for years, at her request.I just set my twin some bound ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/28/23

November 28th 2023 PDT

A Beautiful GiftI’m Carmen, a grateful Member of CoDA.I came to CoDA desperate, afflicted and terrified! I had made the decision to separate from my husband, who I’d been married to for 20 years, with 3 children, all of them minors. I had thought that this relationship would be lifelong, but no…I was overwhelmed by a relationship that had been damaged by lies, dishonesty, lack of responsibility, control, and complacency on my part.I hit rock bottom…it was like throwing myself into the void, with only one income, debts i ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/21/23

November 21st 2023 PDT

Lilana’s StoryThe peace of mind that having a love, a relationship gives me is a pseudo security. It doesn’t belong to me!As my sponsor says, “Whatever has the power to make you happy also has the power to make you unhappy when it’s gone.” I believe that this is how I can define codependence and my current sentimental state. Of course, I have to admit to all the missing and crying after a breakup.The bad thing is to live the catastrophe that I have come through – in a loop, moreover, where I don’t feel as if I’m fit, en ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/14/23

November 14th 2023 PDT

Loving MyselfHello my name is Ravyn and I’m codependent. In December of 2022 I attempted to take my own life and nearly succeeded, I felt hopeless. I had convinced myself I was not built for this world, I couldn’t understand what I did to deserve the isolation and abandonment I was going through. I thought I had dedicated myself to my wife, kids and loved ones, I worked hard, was faithful, and prioritized them over me even after being cheated on. Even after the separation we were very cordial, I wasn’t out for revenge, ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/07/23

November 7th 2023 PDT

Chronic & CoDABefore coming back to CoDA last year, I was in denial of my codependency. I was in deep grief over the loss of my dog. I was suppressing my feelings and avoiding them because it was too much to bear.Since coming back to CoDA, I've learned the value of letting myself feel my feelings, learning that it's okay to not be okay all the time, and even though I'm not as recovered as I would like to be, I feel less alone, knowing I have people I can reach out to especially if I start to spiral.My higher power e ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/31/23

October 31st 2023 PDT

Focus on Myself I have a recovery friendship best bud and he is not living his life and prioritizing his recovery how I would want him to. He is not up to my standards, and it looks wrong and dangerous. However, he is ok. I forget he has a higher power too. What was revealed to me through several nightly inventories was that I resent him. I feel abandoned ... old messages pop up that I'm not good enough for choosing ... so then I get critical of him. If he’s gonna leave me, I'm gonna leave first and I'm gonna ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/24/23

October 24th 2023 PDT

It Was a Cup of CoffeeI started to attend CoDA meetings about 17 months ago. My mother was an adult child of an alcoholic and I identify with many of the patterns of behavior. My relationship with CoDA has evolved. Like any meeting, there are times when I get a lot out of the meetings and other times when I don’t. There are times when I have wanted to stop going. My therapist has encouraged me to look at the meetings as a laboratory of what may be happening in other parts of my life and my feelings about it. That is sou ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/17/23

October 17th 2023 PDT

ChoicesI was in a marriage to a sick person with sexual abuse issues. A friend saw my suffering and took me to my first 12-Step meeting. While I was learning, growing, and working the Steps in CoDA I gained hope, knowledge, courage, and realized I DO have choices.I remember hearing the readings at the beginning of a codependency meeting. I felt embarrassed that they were expressing my deepest secrets out loud! My shameful, debilitating, private feelings – yet the reading confirmed others felt this way too! Others felt i ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/10/23

October 10th 2023 PDT

Learning to Save MyselfMy name is Misty. I come from a rough childhood. Best I understand my sister took care of me as an infant. My sister, who was turning 1 in five days, still needed an enormous amount of attention. My mom was physically there but high on pills. I believe my sister at 13 was just trying to keep the newborn quiet. I have been self-isolating since I can remember. Along with other coping skills, I survived my sister leaving at 18, sexual molestation from family, to suggest a few. (Forgot chemical addict ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/03/23

October 3rd 2023 PDT

Learning New ToolsI'm Lisa K. from Canada, and I've discovered I'm codependent.I found my way to these rooms via another 12-Step program (Nar-Anon) and find I identify more here. It's amazing and painful but also wonderful and I'm no longer alone in this struggle.Since I'm new to CoDA, I've been joining in on internet meetings and happily stumbled across a wonderful CoDA group meeting. The amazing lady that chaired was Jocelyn. She has helped me and many others and so this is her story of experience, strength & hope ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/26/23

September 26th 2023 PDT

The Courage to ChangeHi, I'm Mathew M. A grateful recovering codependent. I joined CoDA about two and half years ago. This was during a very difficult time in my life as I was in the throes of a failing marriage. Things had been going downhill for years, however, this became much more evident once I joined 12-Step recovery about 7 years ago. In sobriety I was desperate not to lose my marriage and had to face the consequences of the pain and hurt I had caused in my years of addiction. In true codependent fashion I flippe ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/19/23

September 19th 2023 PDT

An Enormous Gem Hiding in Plain SightI am grateful for learning boundaries at last. Having survived a childhood of profound abuse, I was vulnerable to dependent relationships, never having had my dependency needs met as a child.I felt completely stuck as a younger adult and the parent of numerous children. I could not begin to imagine how I would survive were I to leave a highly abusive relationship. When I heard about 12-Step recovery and experienced my first meetings, I had a strong paradigm shift. Without changing ci ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/12/23

September 12th 2023 PDT

Growth Through ServiceI came into CoDA just over three years ago. I had been in an on again, off again dysfunctional relationship. Something had to change. My patterns of behaviour in relationships were unhealthy and no longer served me well.I found CoDA and I never looked back. I joined a CoDA group quickly, which is still my home group. I found a sponsor – who I also still have today.With my sponsor I worked through the First 14 Days and found that they unpacked a lot of issues from my childhood. Whilst I am still wor ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/5/23

September 5th 2023 PDT

Convos With NewcomersIn my CoDA experience: newcomers reaching out, means I'm working with a newcomer which is service and leads to me getting outside myself for half a second and having a daily reminder that I need CoDA more than I realize. It can't bother me because as a sponsor I have developed boundaries: when I am unfit/unavailable physically or mentally I will not answer/respond. When I was a newcomer my sponsors asked me just reach out anyways, leave a message, text me and I'll get back to I as soon as I can; tur ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #28 is online now!

September 1st 2023 PDT

Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed "We Our Finding Our Way" CoDA-MiP-September-2023-Ed.-28.pdfMiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDA foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers.There is plenty of room for content in vario ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/29/23

August 29th 2023 PDT

The StepsSponsors work when we are ready to let go of control. Get to the promises. Do the work.I was kissing concrete. Needed help. God provided. Temporary sponsor reminded me of my father and other abusers. Eric has two years in a group that thrives on working the Steps. He suggested we work the Steps. Fast – to show how it works and that they work.We did! Perfectly imperfectly. When we finished Step 4 inventory, he asked, "Is that all?” Then added that more will be revealed, and we can handle that with Step 10. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/22/23

August 22nd 2023 PDT

My First CoDA ShareI was a sobbing mess when I attended my first CoDA telephone meeting. Even though I listened to people who seemed much more together than I was, I shakily hit the star six button, still crying. I blurted out how my ex-boyfriend broke my heart. When I was told I was heard, something changed in my life. I didn't get my usual “stop your crying” backlash. It was a new experience that's leading me on an incredible journey.All my life, from the time I was a little girl, my cries were quenched. When my cat d ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/15/23

August 15th 2023 PDT

Finding MeI came into CoDA ten months ago broken. My spirit, my body, my soul. A friend in another Fellowship recommended I come to a meeting. Within one minute I knew I was home amongst people who would get me.My backstory? I was twice divorced and had been going from one woman to another since I was 17. I had no sense of self-worth; I was in denial, and I needed help fast before I got into another toxic relationship. The depression had sunk in. The anxiety was at an all-time high. I couldn’t get out of bed. Rock botto ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/08/23

August 8th 2023 PDT

Living the Program Co-Dependence Anonymous has been a miraculous program for me. I joined CoDA in 2019 when I had 8 years previous Twelve Step experience in another Fellowship. I have and continue to work my steps in my other Fellowship; however, no step work has been as thorough and healing for me as the step work in Co-Dependents Anonymous.At five years of sobriety I found myself in a situation where I was conned and it affected me physically, spiritually and emotionally. My ego, pride and self-esteem were crushe ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/01/22

August 1st 2023 PDT

Self-AnalysisMy self-analysis has frequently been faulty. Sometimes I've failed to share my defects with the right people; at other times, I've confessed their defects, rather than my own; and at still other times, my confession of codependent defects has been more in the nature of loud complaints about my circumstances and my problems.Nevertheless, I think I've usually been able to make a fairly thorough and searching job of finding and admitting my personal defects. Yet this pretty well-ventilated condition is nothing ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/25/22

July 25th 2023 PDT

Getting to Know MyselfI am Esraa and I am Codependent.Before coming to CoDA Fellowship, I was suffering from a lack of management of my love life, and I used to get into a lot of toxic relationships. I didn't know why until I joined CoDA. While I was using the recovery tools, I discovered many of my personal flaws, and how they relate to growing up in a troubled family.I discovered the compulsive reasons that pushed me to enter into unhealthy relationships, and I learned to deal with them This happened after using recov ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/18/22

July 18th 2023 PDT

FreedomHi, my name is Bri. I'm definitely a codependent. I found this group a couple of weeks ago via the internet. I have been sober from alcohol for about 5 and a half years.I used to get so hung up over my ex-boyfriends. It took me a year to get over one. Two years to get over my son's father whom I was with, off and on, for a few years. He was abusive. Once that happened, I ended it, and never looked back. I lived in agony for those two years.One day I woke up and felt freedom. Maybe it was the new mood stabilizer I ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/11/22

July 11th 2023 PDT

AmendsWe were friends the last few decades, lovers way back when.1973 had been a horrible year. My father died, my house was broken into and emptied of everything of value, and I was incapable of coping. I withdrew, got into drugs, seeking oblivion, wanting to block out reality.Autumn in Charleston, South Carolina. Days of warm perfection, nights with a chill that pinked up the cheeks. I was unmoved, dead inside. I met him at a party I did not wish to attend. He was in a room by himself, a sailor playing his trumpet to ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/4/23

July 4th 2023 PDT

CoDA ToolsI have always heard the term codependent, but I really didn’t understand it. When I was 66 years old, I had a nervous breakdown.Growing up I was rarely made a priority. When my father passed away, I became my mother’s caregiver. Needless to say, I wasn’t taking care of myself. I hurt my daughter’s family terribly and I worried my family to death. I was deficient in B12 to the point where I could barely get up in the morning.I’ve had to make myself a priority, and it does not come easy! I was so happy to take c ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/27/23

June 27th 2023 PDT

Self-LoveI had no idea what love was, period, let alone self-love. My sponsor used to tell me repeatedly "if I talk to my friends the way I talk to myself, I wouldn't have any friends." But harsh and critical of myself and others was what love and care looked like in my family of origin.I had really terrible self-esteem when I came into CoDA. I can still have rough days with low self-esteem but today I can recognize that just because I feel low doesn't mean I am. Who does my program say I am? Am I sure these t ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/20/23

June 20th 2023 PDT

At the Foot of the Mountain This is the (I imagine) rare story of a pre-Step 1 codependent. The type of story I wish I could see more of. People who, like me, look at the recovery mountain they have to climb and tremble in fear.It has been the worst two months of my life. And as I read reports in the Blue Book and in this magazine, I almost feel ashamed to complain about mine. I didn't grow up abused or neglected to the degree many have. Yes, my parents fought a lot, and I got caught in the middle of their mind gam ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/13/23

June 13th 2023 PDT

My MedallionsMy daughter gave me a thoughtful Mother’s Day gift: a small wooden box for all my CoDA chips and medallions. The current one is displayed on the top. I love it! Didn’t know such a thing existed.Every day now I see my VII surrounded by the Serenity Prayer — a good reminder of how far I’ve come on my CoDA recovery journey. When I get stressed and fearful about speaking up for myself it’s good to reflect on where I’ve been and where I _want_ to be. I know the only way to get there is by walking throu ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/06/23

June 6th 2023 PDT

New BeginningsI have just recently joined CoDA. I, too, have been wanting to have a connective, healthy relationship with my partner, after two previous unsuccessful attempts! We even went into couple’s work. However, I am feeling his financial burdens, his health concerns, his attitude, neediness, is too much for me to bear daily. I need to find myself again. Instead of constantly catering for him to survive, medically, financially, and in spirit, I am losing my best self. I need my life back.Please, higher power, give ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #27 is online now! (Link Included)

June 5th 2023 PDT

Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed "Finding Self in CoDA" https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-June-2023-Ed.-27.pdfMiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDA foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers.There is plenty ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/30/23

May 30th 2023 PDT

My Recovery Journey I feel very lucky to have found CoDA after emotionally spinning out for years, triggered by the Covid-19 pandemic, the everyday stresses of being a working parent, and significant shifts in my family dynamic, including the realization that my closest family member had been suffering in an emotional abusive relationship. Over time, in managing these crises and trauma, I found my responses to things (guilt, shame, panic, controlling, resentment) were only getting worse, not better. So, in February of 2 ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/23/23

May 23rd 2023 PDT

A Music LessonAs with many codependents, my family of origin had its own version of craziness. I spent a lot of time bemoaning the dysfunction of my family of origin and wishing things were different. However, there was a positive force that was always in our house – music! I grew up listening and loving the Big Band music of my parents, the Rock and Roll of my older brother, and Motown/Beatles in my high school and college years. My love for music continued into the 80s music of my children and now the Kidz Bop and Ima ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/16/23

May 16th 2023 PDT

Why Am I Not Fixed Yet?I have recovered in the rooms of Adult Children of Alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, SLAA & CoDA. I could ask ‘why so many Anonymous-es?’, but no not today! God & CoDA teach me lamenting over the ‘Why me’s’ area waste of my time. Besides, I ‘gotta’ get on with this business of loving on CindyAnn!My Higher Power, God, fills most of my days with joy and peace! I still, perhaps like many of us humans, cry and wrestle with the tough times of living in this world. But reco ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/09/23

May 9th 2023 PDT

 A Music LessonAs with many codependents, my family of origin had its own version of craziness. I spent a lot of time bemoaning the dysfunction of my family of origin and wishing things were different. However, there was a positive force that was always in our house – music! I grew up listening and loving the Big Band music of my parents, the Rock and Roll of my older brother, and Motown/Beatles in my high school and college years. My love for music continued into the 80s music of my children and now the Kidz Bop a ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 5/2/23

May 2nd 2023 PDT

Discovering MyselfMy name is Jennifer, and I am codependent. I didn't realize that until two weeks ago when my partner had a fit of rage. This time he tore a door off its hinges. Seeing that and feeling that energy made me realize all my romantic relationships looked exactly the same. I am and have been dating men that were similar to my dad. Aloof. Loner-ish. Have some sort of substance abuse, depression, or temperament issue.Every. Single. Relationship. I shunned men who were "too nice" as I thought somethin ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/25/23

April 25th 2023 PDT

Finding HomeI came into CoDA to try to end the crazy cycle of damaging and destructive relationships I was in. Growing up in a dysfunctional home I was always looking for a safe place to call home. I was displaced at age16 when my parents split, and I moved 10 times in two years trying to find somewhere I felt “at home”. I thought a relationship was the key to my lost feelings and emptiness. Unfortunately, the relationships I was involved in were more damaging and I felt even more alone and “homeless”.I finally ended up ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/18/23

April 18th 2023 PDT

I Am Not Just What Happened to Me: I Am My ChoicesMy name is Sam, and I am a joyful codependent. I am an Iranian American fellow member of the program.I was always wondering what the reason for my codependency problem was. Then I concluded that something in my childhood must have caused the domino effect of codependency in my life!I was born in Iran when there was a war between Iran and the neighboring country Iraq in the 80s. We had no financial problems, but there were constant uncertainties and feelings of unsafe due ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/11/23

April 11th 2023 PDT

Returning to SanityToday I feel insane. I’ve been in recovery for three years now and this feeling of insanity inside of me has lessened. But today I am in the throes of it and confusion and uncertainty have set in. I’m experiencing anger, disappointment, resentment, false hope, obsession, and the need to let go of control. I find myself struggling between letting go of control and obsessing over the situation. It’s a tough situation and involves a family member that has serious mental illness.Today, I went to a meeting ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 4/4/23

April 4th 2023 PDT

Growing UpHi, I'm Ashley and I'm codependent. Growing up I've always relied on others to give me a sense of purpose, worth, safety and love but never allowed myself to find that from within. After a recent break up, looking back I realized that despite believing I was recovering, my codependency was very much running my life and my relationship.So, in mourning the loss of that relationship I have chosen to heal rather than to regret so that I may live in the present and not the past. I will remember that though my inten ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/28/23

March 28th 2023 PDT

Working My ProgramMy name is Catherine E. I have been in recovery and specifically CoDA for 30 years now. I have started and led meetings in a couple of different states, and I have sponsored people in the past. I have had co-sponsors and had a sponsor and been mentored throughout my journey by many women.To walk into a CoDA meeting takes great courage. It has been a very difficult job learning to let go and to stop controlling others; to trust in and believe that a higher power had my best interests at heart; to overco ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/20/23

March 21st 2023 PDT

Reflection on Chapter 2The wonder of how CoDA readings often resonate with the insights of the past week still surprises me and I am grateful to have this growing understanding that my higher power works in subtle and pervasive ways. This reading reminded me of what an old-timer shared in one of my first meetings.“Codependency is the disease beneath the disease of all addiction.”In my childhood home we lived in constant flux. My father’s career was always the focus and from the age of five I moved every 2-3 years from c ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/14/23

March 14th 2023 PDT

 Overcoming ObstaclesMy name is April, and I am a codependent. I didn't say that out loud until I came to my first CoDA meeting six months ago. Before that, I only identified as "addict.” I was in recovery for my addiction in another fellowship, staying clean, had a sponsor, worked all 12 Steps but something still wasn't working. I wrote multiple inventories, but I still hated my mother. In 2022 my physical health was really declining and I had to have multiple surgeries, including a full colectomy. I was in p ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 3/7/23

March 7th 2023 PDT

My Higher Power’s WillTwo years into my recovery and I still couldn’t put my finger on what I felt was my Higher Power’s will for me. I had a strong sense of my Higher Power and how it was working in my life, where and how to connect to it – but this seemed a difficult concept to grasp.Then Bam! A lightbulb moment – following a codependent slip and a spiral into shame and “poor me” mentality.A review of Steps 1, 6 and 7 gave me the lightbulb moment I was after. My victim mode with the self-defeating scripts/negative sel ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #26 is online now! (Link Included)

March 4th 2023 PDT

Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed “Strengthening in Recovery” https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-March-2023-Ed.-26.pdf MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome,Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. Ther ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/28/23

February 28th 2023 PDT

Finding Strength in MeHi, my name is Debbie and I’m codependent.I came into the CoDA rooms nearly two years ago. To say “I never looked back” would be untrue. Many a time when I was adequately side-tracked by my ‘significant other’ at the time, I would barely pay CoDA lip service.But now when look I back, I have my CoDA journey to look back on. I look back towards ‘me’. CoDA has been there as a gentle reminder that I will not find strength in anyone else, I will only find strength in me.As I begin to have an inkling of ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/21/23

February 21st 2023 PDT

Spilled CoffeeThank you for the opportunity to share:This morning, I spilled my coffee. Up until now, I may have listened to the committee in my mind; false messages looking for control. The FEAR seeping in, much like the coffee soaking into the rug. False evidence appearing real.Step 11 reminds me that through prayer and meditation I can and do have conscious contact with the God of my understanding. My meditation practice allows me to more readily BE in this moment, where I accept myself as I am, an imperfect human BE ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/14/23

February 14th 2023 PDT

I Keep Coming BackMy best friend Mo was in CoDA for years when we met. I listened to her. I knew my mother was codependent. I was sure of that. And I was moving to Florida to live with her. I'd go to CoDA because she was codependent.Ha ha!!Well, it takes what it takes. I got involved with an active alcoholic. I remember our first date. I remember it so well. I sat in the passenger seat of his noisy jeep feeling exactly as I did when I was in high school. It was a feeling of suffocating. Of not being myself. Of not reall ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 2/7/23

February 7th 2023 PDT

No Longer Just a Nice GuyWhen I got a gut instinct that all might blow up in my family, I started asking what it was I was doing. It started with a book about being a “nice guy.” I am one. That’s essentially a codependent, I thought. When I researched it, it all jumped out and said, Hey, this is ME they speak of!I’m so gratefully three days into recovery. I reached out to CoDA, and a wonderful guy, Daniel, walked me through some basics. I believe that I was programmed very well when young. An injured Father was abusive, ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/31/23

January 31st 2023 PDT

Letter to My BoysThe following is a letter I wrote to my children a few days ago that may or may not ever be given to them, but it was a letter I needed to write. After starting CoDA fifteen months ago, I finally feel free and more myself than ever before. My sponsor, my meetings, and reading morning meditations from In This Moment have changed the course of my life. I acknowledge that my codependency is ever-present and must be managed. Participating in the CoDA program is a daily habit and has saved me from remaining ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/24/23

January 24th 2023 PDT

TestimonialI have been in CoDA since June 2021, when I was in a residential, trauma-based program. There, with the help of the professionals and my fellow residents, I saved my life. As a child, I was the oldest of four girls and took on the protection of my sisters when my mother’s raging was too scary. Our father was compliant, asking us to just do what she said so she would stop. I carried that compliance to adulthood, where I had a series of abusive relationships, and some in which I was so detached I lasted just lo ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/17/23

January 17th 2023 PDT

Musings on the 6th TraditionSo, I've been in CoDA on and off for six years and I want to share my story. CoDA is a fantastic place to heal. I've learned so much to heal my abuse patterns learned from and in response to my abusers.I left a CoDA homegroup I was in for 3 years, due to a religious divide. I was one of the people quoting scripture, as it pertained to my recovery. However, it angered many CoDA members in the group. Members found my use of scripture to be insensitive and endorsing.I thought I was sharing my he ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/10/23

January 10th 2023 PDT

Step 11 ReflectionWhen I consider my approach to prayer to my higher power and to meditation, in what is my first 78 meetings and 78 days of my CoDA journey, I’m grateful that I can now see the waves of resistance and brief moments of surrender that swung wildly at first and now like a pendulum seem to be finding a rhythm that, while still out of balance, has a more regular cadence that I can start to feel on a daily basis. I’m not there yet by any means. I have days where deeply obsessive and compulsive anxiety ru ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 1/03/23

January 3rd 2023 PDT

Taking ResponsibilityHi, I am Ramona P,My story started as a little girl seeing my mom in abusive relationships. I am the eldest of 7 children. Caretaking became my way of survival; if I can just focus on taking care of others, I won’t have to think about how sad I felt deep inside. I usually felt fearful, ashamed, not enough. I started self-medicating with food as a toddler; it’s still a struggle today over 50 years later. Let’s not think about experimental drugs and alcohol use. My dad was an alcoholic, so I was deter ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/27/22

December 27th 2022 PDT

TransformationHi, my name is Colleen. I have been a member of AA for 30 years but joined Coda 10 years ago. Slowly but surely my life has been transformed by working the Steps in the CoDA workbook. I attend meetings Thursday night and also every Sunday.I have always been codependent, but I never knew. I felt broken and a waste of space. 30 years ago, at 18 years of age I slowly started to put myself back together one piece at a time. What a process and long journey!I continue to move forward little by little. I have tak ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/20/22

December 20th 2022 PDT

Speaking My TruthI had a plan. I knew what I wanted. It was important to me. Things were not coming together well. I needed to speak up - not abandon myself (again). State the facts. Speak my truth. Live with the consequences.I cannot control others, only myself. My CoDA recovery tools were knocking on my door. I knew what I needed to do. My people-pleasing defect runs strong and deep. I have to work so hard to overcome it. Day by day, sometimes moment by moment. I had to have a hard, honest conversation with my friend. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/13/22

December 13th 2022 PDT

Learning AuthenticityI didn’t know it, but I was addicted to chaos. Perhaps addicted may be too strong a word, but I certainly was attracted to it. It could be across the street with unfamiliar people arguing (I’d perk up and listen, hmmm, what’s going on!!) or right in my personal space within my own family. Chaos was normalized as, well, normal, from my very beginnings on earth. My family of origin cemented this, and I carried the torch on into my own life. I married a pothead, and he would hit me. He gambled and I ac ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/6/22

December 6th 2022 PDT

Anger to AcceptanceAfter 14 years in Alanon and 3 years in CoDA, one day I hit a point where things felt like they were falling down around me. I was getting the cold shoulder from people at work, and it felt devastating. My people pleasing – a lifelong habit – had really dealt me a blow this time. I had tried so hard and so consistently to make others like me, and it had all backfired. Being shunned by my colleagues at work felt like my whole world was falling apart and all kinds of hurt feelings were triggered. Nothin ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #25 is online now! (Link Included)

November 30th 2022 PDT

Meeting in Print/ /(MiP)/, a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed “Transforming in Recovery” https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-Dec-2022-Ed.-25.pdf MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome,Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. There i ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/29/22

November 29th 2022 PDT

The Lotus Flower Still Blossoming and Breathing I have always wanted to submit a story to the CoDA community. I went to my first CoDA meeting in late July of 2016, just a few months after entering my AA program. To this day, the beautiful women I met at my very first meeting, are still just as near and dear to me. They are “my tribe” and my “soul sisters” in recovery. Without their and so many others’ humility, courage, and strength, I don’t know if I would still be here today. Without my strength and willingness to con ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/22/22

November 22nd 2022 PDT

Soul Gardening with Steps Four through SevenI enjoy growing plants in various sized pots. In order to make these plants flourish and produce new growth, removing dead leaves and flower blooms is a must. When I do, new leaves and flowers later appear. One day as I was doing this pruning, it occurred to me that this is similar to doing Steps Four through Seven.When I identify the characteristics that no longer are working in my life, and share with myself, God, and another human being, then I begin to prune my life. In St ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/15/22

November 15th 2022 PDT

Allowing Myself to Be Human! I’ve been in 12-Step recovery more than 30 years off and on. I realize now that every time I went out on drugs it was over a codependent issue. With each loss I had no sense of self or self-love. I was in so much pain I really wanted to die!I was extremely compliant, always looking at what could I do for others. I came to CoDA 7 years ago. It was total insanity with my mother, so my therapist suggested I might join CoDA. I didn’t think I was codependent. I thought, “I’m independent!” … I had ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/8/22

November 8th 2022 PDT

Building BridgesGuilt and regret can be corrective emotions when they are balanced, rooted in self-love and we are able to stay out of rumination, self-criticism, and judgment. We all make mistakes, we are human.When I have the awareness that I have made a decision that wasn’t in my best interest. I do my best to acknowledge it, reflect on it, make amends if possible and move on, with the intention I won’t repeat the mistake again.Promise 4 from Codependent’s Anonymous states:I release myself from worry, guilt, and regr ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/2/22

November 1st 2022 PDT

Once Scared, Now FreeBorn in Britain in 1945, as World War II ended, from very early, I experienced the loss of any security of parenting or home stability. I have suppressed memories of sexual abuse. The pain of being deprived of love and security caused a deep, wrenching outpouring of grief that did not happen until my mid-forties. Even though in my 20’s I knew it needed to come out, but I was too locked up to truly grieve.Then one day, as I was starting out in a new career as a church minister, I snapped at a parishi ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/25/22

October 25th 2022 PDT

My First CoDA MeetingI remember my first CoDA meeting as if it were yesterday. Of course, I had no idea of what to expect but I had certain expectations. Sounds ironic, doesn't it?It was January 20, 2020. My fiancé and I went to the meeting thinking it would solidify our relationship even more. What we experienced was a small group of people who were warm, friendly, and welcoming.The meeting agenda was structured and organized. What I remember most was that no one was pressured to speak at any time. Of course, th ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/18/22

October 18th 2022 PDT

From Fuzziness to ClarityFor a large part of my life I felt I had a fuzzy outline. Reading through old journals as I work through my Step 4 inventory, I realized I was constantly looking to other people, places, or things to define me and give me value. I was so lost. When I joined CoDA, I began building that sense of self, one feelings-check at a time. Learning to identify feelings filled in the fuzziness, and pretty soon I discovered boundaries. Parts of myself finally had clear definition. How exciting that was!All I ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/11/22

October 11th 2022 PDT

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions The inability to make a decision was very strong in my personality prior to recovery and self-discovery in CoDA. One perfect example of this came one day when my sister and I were trying to decide what to do with this perfectly beautiful sunshiny day. We debated back and forth on the best way to use the time. We ended up using the whole day trying to make a “perfect” decision. What a waste!Thinking others could make better decisions or thinking I had to make the perfect decision was ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/04/22

October 4th 2022 PDT

Realizing a New Joy"By actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new Joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives." -- CoDA Preamble Actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, that's the part that brought my ego down and my CoDA Steps back into the driver seat of my life. In my recovery work the quickest way to feel the worst and go back to the old ways of living was not being active in my program.I brilliantly decided that after a year of recovery I had it all t ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/20/22

September 20th 2022 PDT

Building BridgesGuilt and regret can be corrective emotions when they are balanced, rooted in self-love and we are able to stay out of rumination, self-criticism, and judgment. We all make mistakes, we are human.When I have the awareness that I have made a decision that wasn’t in my best interest. I do my best to acknowledge it, reflect on it, make amends if possible and move on, with the intention I won’t repeat the mistake again.Promise 4 from Codependent’s Anonymous states:I release myself from worry, guilt, and regr ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/13/22

September 13th 2022 PDT

Finding SerenityI am powerless over my students’ punctuality/attendance and my life has become unmanageable. In this moment, I can feel the misery arising in me. It’s 8 am and only about one-half of the class has arrived. I could acknowledge the ones who are on time, reward them somehow, and punish the rest. That’s within my power, right? What do I do? This is where I can go the way of my higher power or have a codependency flare up.I thank my higher power and Codependents Anonymous for giving me the wisdom and grace to ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/6/22

September 6th 2022 PDT

Pain  "We don't change until the pain of remaining the same exceeds the pain of change." This was one of my sponsor's favorite quotes and now it's one of mine, too. I know that it has held true in my life. And I find the quote comforting on many levels. For one thing, it changed my perspective on pain. That rather than something to be feared and avoided at any cost, pain is natural, and especially for those of us stuck in self-defeating patterns, it is necessary. Sometimes it is the only th ...Continue Reading

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #24 is online now! (Link Included)

September 3rd 2022 PDT

Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed "Time to Recover"https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-Sept-2022-Ed.-24.pdfMiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers.There is plenty of s ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/30/22

August 30th 2022 PDT

The 38th Pattern of Recovery"Co-dependents often demand that their needs be met by others. In recovery, I find and use resources that meet my needs without making demands on others. I ask for help when I need it, without expectation." https://coda.org/meeting-materials/service-materials/For me, making demands was not an obvious pattern of behavior. It was insidiously sneaky, even when I was the one being demanding. I learned to recognize my demands by noticing the anticipated resentment I was ready to unleash ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/23/22

August 23rd 2022 PDT

Realizing the Twelve PromisesI attended my first CoDA meeting 30 years ago when I was 22 years old. My father, a recovering alcoholic, heard about it and suggested I go.Back then, I was ungrounded and paying attention to everyone else but me, internalizing everyone else’s moods and feelings and acting out. I did not know how to get quiet and feel my own feelings.Believing, trusting in, and turning my will over to my higher power resulted in miraculous changes in me. I learned to let go and stop controlling others, to fe ...Continue Reading

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