This mailing list is announce-only.
Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.
Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.
February 23rd 2021 PST
“When I started to believe” I was raised by a narcissistic mother and married a narcissistic man. I was willing to change roles in my marriage. I was the breadwinner and he was the househusband. Despite having a masters in electrical engineering, he could not get a job in his field. The political climate and his nationality were the barriers. I had returned to school and gotten my nursing degree. I didn’t attempt to leave my emotionally abusive marriage until I witnessed my son imitating his ...Continue Reading
February 16th 2021 PST
A Weekly Reading Higher Power for me is simply Truth. I have long been wondering what Higher Power means to me. I have feared that just leaving that to my inner pondering would lead to something covertly letting me off the hook. My patterns are deep and compulsive, influencing my thinking at least as much as my acting. How can I trust, then, a Higher Power of my own (flawed) understanding. Then I learned from a sacred book of a very foreign culture the statement, “There is but one God over a ...Continue Reading
February 9th 2021 PST
“Sanity is acceptance of human imperfection.” I am so grateful to CoDA. I had lived a life not understanding that not everyone has shame to their core. I had thought my childhood did not really harm me but had then spent my life trying to prove I am worthy. I thought if I can be perfect then maybe I can get rid of my shame. I had given my higher power to my abusive father and did not know this. A year ago I was “over fixing” someone else thinking I was being helpful when she said, ...Continue Reading
February 2nd 2021 PST
“The gift of experience, strength and hope” As I sit and reflect here in this moment, I do so as the most authentic version of myself that I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I found CoDA and myself in August 2019, following the encouragement of my therapist and at a point in my life where I had finally hit my rock bottom after 40 years of digging. It’s been over a year now and I can honestly say that the program and the fellowship have been an incredible blessing and continue to be in ...Continue Reading
January 26th 2021 PST
<F~RAG<Men-TatiON< ‘‘Fragmentation: the process or state of breaking or being broken into small or separate parts.’’ I was raised under strict, condemning circumstances, which were cold feelings and not a warm nurturing environment. I had to learn survival skills, just to get through a day in my nuclear family existence. Fear was my sidekick, and alertness was my precautionary superpower which was in high gear. When I was sleeping at night and throughout the day I would case the joi ...Continue Reading
January 19th 2021 PST
“A letter to myself” Hello, I would like to share an AHA moment when I was reviewing my notes. I am currently on Step Nine in CODA so I went back and reviewed Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. In Step 8 it mentioned make Direct Amends to all people you have harmed. Of course, I naturally made an Amend to my Higher Power but then came the AHA moment. The person I needed to make amends to was ME! So I wrote a letter to myself. Hopefully, my letter will help someone in their journey of recovery: Dear Li ...Continue Reading
January 12th 2021 PST
“Entering CoDA has made me aware” After being in an eight year long relationship, where we broke up and returned four times, it came to an end. From the first breakup I knew I couldn't live without him, I just remembered the good. We tried it three more times, we were even going to get married, but again my deepest fear came back. I no longer trusted him. I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. However, when I was alone, I would forget that and I would want to return to this pointless relationsh ...Continue Reading
January 5th 2021 PST
My Lizard Brain Existence I am a grateful, slowly recovering Codependent. I first thought that I had a cat and a dog as pets. However, recently I have discovered a whole other type of a pet which is very different and very destructive one called my lizard brain. I have been learning from my CoDA meetings, sharing, listening to others, as well as through seeing therapists and self-motivated reading on my own that most of my decisions are based upon fear. Fear of rejection, ridicule, the unk ...Continue Reading
December 29th 2020 PST
“This journey of uncovering, discovering, and healing” From the outside looking in, my childhood was perfect. A mom, a dad, two kids, and a three car garage. As a family, we ran a second generation business and took a vacation at least once a year. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of friends who envied my life. My mom was the golden standard for polishing the appearances to the world, and no one ever really knew about her mental illness or my dad’s alcoholism. Being the baby of the fam ...Continue Reading
December 22nd 2020 PST
Keep Telling My Story In my family of origin, keeping secrets was sometimes the “spoken” but more often the unspoken rule. My Dad was an addicted gambler and serial adulterer and Mom was an alcoholic. Yet such facts were hardly ever articulated and any verbalization of these truths resulted in knee-jerk reactions of denial, minimization and most of all, rage. Consequently, throughout my childhood, I was never sure what was safe for me to say and consciously doubted many things that I intuitivel ...Continue Reading