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Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.
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February 18th 2020
Relationship Bootcamp I isolated, never knowing how to deal with people in a healthy way. I was never shown or taught how. All I knew was how to communicate and deal with people in a manipulative, passive-aggressive way. Being on my own since the age of 14 it became a survival tool that I honed in order to get by. If I told people what they wanted to hear, worked hard and was honest and trustworthy, it would secure me a place in this world and help me gain friends and allies. But how can I be trustworthy if I'm manip ...Continue Reading
February 11th 2020
Pillow Talk I have been in CoDA for over a year now. My husband has been in CoDA for two years and he introduced it to me once I regained some health, dignity and strength after almost dying from abusing alcohol. I had never had a place where I could share my experience, strengths and hopes before. Nor did I think anyone wanted to hear about them. After more than 50 years of not being able to speak, to now be encouraged to speak in order to heal seems so foreign to me. “Suck it up. Get over it. Don't let people see ...Continue Reading
February 4th 2020
The Abyss. Over three years ago I knew I needed help. I was not making it. Everything hurt. Everything. Of course, I had a great smile to put on all of it, and I was sure that I would be able to push through by pleasing and charming others. I figured I was just simply not meeting the right people and that those around me did not fit the ticket. They no longer seemed to fill the abyss of a codependent that simply wanted to be told he is loved—wanted to be told he is loved, cared for, praised, needed and to be told that ...Continue Reading
January 28th 2020
Fear-Based Survival Fear has robbed me of fifty-three years. In the past, whenever bad things happened I developed coping mechanisms such as aloofness, isolation, astral and out-of-body travel, sarcasm and self-inflicted pain as ways to have control in my life. I honed these survival tools into strong weapons that I used on myself or anyone else who was a threat to my safety or well-being. They served me well in my teens and twenties but have become the very things that are preventing me from fully embracing life or m ...Continue Reading
January 21st 2020
Co-dependency Used To Rule My Life Co-dependency has ruled my life for 62 years. I was attached to someone, giving all I was and forgetting about my needs. I seemed to end up with takers that would take advantage of my kindness. I also thought that I wouldn't be loved if I didn't do for others. When love did not get returned I became depressed and did a lot of negative self talk. I really didn't know there was a type of living that was called co-dependent. I married a co-dependent and he was all about me and I revolve ...Continue Reading
January 14th 2020
B-O-U-N-D-A-R-I-E-S Being raised very strictly as a Southern Baptist military brat, my boundaries were set for me. They were cut and dried, and to cross one meant extreme punishment. Eventually even respecting these unreasonable and inconsistent boundaries led to excessive beatings, so the lines became obscured and life became even more stressful. I have never known how to have or respect boundaries for myself or others. The only boundaries I've ever experienced were built upon fear of consequences. Since I have been ...Continue Reading
January 7th 2020
The Secret Attic Throughout my life prior to CoDA I had a recurring nightmare where I was shocked to discover a hidden part of my house: a walled-off attic. This attic was so dilapidated that it threatened to destroy everything beneath it. Although I intellectually understood the dream's symbolism, it wasn't until my wife was in the Intensive Care Unit dying from alcoholism that the reality of this nightmare finally hit home. Due to workaholism, my codependent pattern of "walling off" and my enabling of her ...Continue Reading
January 2nd 2020
Fear has robbed me of fifty-three years. In the past, whenever bad things happened I developed coping mechanisms such as aloofness, isolation, astral and out of body travel, sarcasm and self-inflicted pain as ways to have control in my life. I honed these survival tools into strong weapons that I used on myself or anyone else who was a threat to my safety or wellbeing. They served me well in my teens and twenties but have become the very things that are preventing me from fully embracing life or myself. You ask me who ...Continue Reading
December 23rd 2019
In the past few days, I have had a number of women ask me why I have shaved my head. They have told me that they liked it or that they didn't like it; I actually don't care whether they like my shaved head or not. After a lifetime of very long hair, 'my glory,” and long, shapeless dresses and skirts (because wearing jeans was 'cross-dressing') it is a relief to be who I am: gay, codependent, old, woman, self-partnered. It is a relief to not be called a “witch”, “unsubmissive”, “out-of-order”, “rebellious”, “demonized ...Continue Reading
December 17th 2019
But....I Joined CoDA To Stop Myself From Doing Too Much! (Excerpted From A Longer Article) I believe this issue is one of the reasons we've had so much trouble attracting new intergroup members. First, we do not encourage new comers to CoDA to join intergroup, there is much service to be done at the meeting level! But once one has 6 months - 1 year (depending on the person) service on a larger scale can be a wonderful opportunity to grow in CoDA. I've personally found doing service to be a great way to learn to set b ...Continue Reading