CoDA Weekly Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/21/26

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Inside JobI was raised to hide who I was.Growing up with same sex parents I was told to not talk about my family out of fear of retaliation from the outside world.I was the good kid.That means I was good at keeping my codependent mother happy and learning how to avoid my sister's behaviors from her undiagnosed mental health disorders. I became skilled at molding myself to what I thought other people wanted of me. I shaped my external self into whatever version would create the least amount of conflict. I became accustomed to accepting abuse and having low self-esteem to make myself into how I thought others viewed or wanted me. I was programmed to think my worth depended on how well I could manage others’ thoughts and feelings about me.I’m grateful for that programming because it brought me to CoDA and closer to my higher power.This programming set me on a path of trying to fix my inner discomfort by controlling the outside world. I thought I was kind. I thought I was generous. But honestly, I was being selfish by trying to earn something: love, approval, admiration, safety.I was constantly adjusting my behavior to control how others saw me, hoping that if I got it right, I’d finally feel okay inside. I truly believed that was not selfish at all. Trying to manage others to soothe something within me. The hubris of it is comedic to me now. How could I really even know what people wanted from me? I made assumptions and estimations, but I had no real idea of what was going on in other people's heads and even if I got it right how was that going to fix that feeling inside me? That’s the insanity of it.I knew I was codependent for a decade. But knowing wasn’t enough. I hadn’t done the work.Then I found Codependents Anonymous and started working the 12 Steps. Something shifted in me especially during inventory of my codependent patterns, and the amends to myself.For me so much anger came up during the patterns inventory. How could I be hurting myself and others like this over and over? I was mad at myself and ready to let it go.I was really uncertain how I would live any other way though. I mean I had been doing it my whole life!I just continued to do the work and something changed. I stopped having to guess what people want. I stopped having to shape-shift to earn connections. I started telling the truth.Not a curated version of the truth that I think they want to hear. Just the truth.And that has been deeply liberating. Surprising. Exciting. Powerful.I don’t fully understand how it works, but I know how it feels. I feel like a mystical material that is simultaneously lighter and stronger. I’m more connected to myself and to my higher power. There’s an uncomfortable clarity that comes from not trying to manage everyone else. To say things I know people don’t want to hear. Wowee! Who am I? I am someone that  communicates what is happening inside honestly. I feel proud of myself every time I do it!My CoDA date is April 20, 2025. And even in just a short time, I’ve experienced something powerful:I don’t hide anymore. I don’t people-please. I don’t try to control the outside to fix the inside. Instead, I do the inside job. I take inventory. I make amends. I stay connected: to myself, other codependents, and to something greater than me. And through that, I’ve found the freedom to be me within me.Torey A. 3/28/2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/14/26

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">A New Way of LivingI came into the CoDA rooms in 2020 when a friend handed me the number for an online meeting. Codependent? Who me? Sure, I'm totally independent! God loves us. Little did I know. As I went to meetings and still do 6 years later, a few a week sometimes, I got to find out about this disease that I definitely have. For 50 years I had been the best human being to everyone I came in contact with. If you wanted me inside out, no problem, upside down, no problem, go here, do that, absolutely no problem. Not once considering Me, what I wanted! From a dysfunctional family of origin, to friendships, to marriage, I saw where I had used many of the characteristics to get through my dysfunctional life. With the tools of CoDA – to mention a few like reading the meditation book, praying, journaling, and reaching out – thankfully I have broken the use of some of those characteristics. With awareness I often catch myself before I use an old way of thinking or behaving. I have learned that with my Higher Power’s help I can put myself first, that I am important and I am enough. It was very hard at first, when I had lived my life putting everyone and anyone first; with very low confidence I always put myself last, at the bottom of the pile. I now thankfully have a new way of looking at life. The inner peace that has replaced the turmoil that used to consume me is just amazing. I always say, what CoDA has given me is just priceless and I will be forever grateful to that friend for that number and to CoDA for giving me life as I have never known it.Marion March 8, 2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/07/26

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">It Works If You Work It and I Am Worth It On the 12th of February I'll be taking my 2-year chip. When I say I have been on a life altering journey that is putting it mildly and it continues to evolve. Coming into the CoDA program I was at death's door as there was nothing left, not therapy, medications, none of it was "fixing" me. My life had no meaning any longer for me and I wanted out. I was in constant chaotic relationships and friendships, and I also suffered in the workplace – anything that had to deal with another human being. I allowed myself to be both physically and emotionally abused as I had zero self-esteem. Sadly, the turning point for me was the traumatic event of losing my mother who was my biggest enabler. We loved one another dearly, but her guilt allowed me to continue with behaviors I created to survive in a dysfunctional childhood well into adulthood. When I started Program the first reality check for myself was  1. I was the common denominator in all my unhappiness.  2. Understanding my "dark" voice that kept me stuck.In all my unmanageable relationships I was the person that either kept the relationships thriving or they would come to disastrous endings. I needed people to make me feel better about myself and if they couldn't I would fight, cry, and play the blame game completely losing myself to prove to them I was worthy. It was the voice in my head that put myself down, that made excuses for allowing my pain and suffering. In a nutshell I was the perpetual victim.CoDA has opened my life to where I'm breathing again because now, I take responsibility for how I'm feeling. I acknowledge what I'm feeling. I sit with it and heal it for myself. I pay attention to my body. I listen to my gut instinct. I no longer require others to dictate how I should feel or think in living my life. I'm honest in letting go of friendships/relationships if it doesn't work for me but I do this now with honesty as I understand better what my triggers are. I was taught early on that my feelings were not important and that I didn't really matter. I spent a lifetime proving to others they needed to love me, to care for me and that they had to agree with me. I also thought I knew what was best for others, consuming myself with their problems. But this always proved detrimental to my wellbeing and theirs. Now I take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. I sit with myself. I don't allow my dark voice to be in charge any longer because sadly that dark voice will pull me into unhealthy behaviors at the drop of a hat. I am conscious now that it's up to me to remain healthy.I have come to understand that I not only like who I am but a huge part of me loves who I am. I understand that I am enough, that I have a right to be here and a right to be happy. It comes down to me as I'm the only one who can make that happen. I no longer allow abusive behaviors. I used to "react" and that was out of fear and shame. Understanding that the only person who could save me was "me" was certainly no easy task. In the beginning it was tough because first I had to accept that truth and secondly change my unmanageable behaviors. Nobody was going to do it for me. Certainly not the continual hashing of my problems to another was ever going to save me.Without Program I could never have managed but hearing the struggles and recoveries of others helped me to get to my next meeting, then meetings weekly. I read, I wrote, I shared. I finally surrendered and became increasingly honest, and then the chains began to break away.Today in life there will always come challenges, but I continue to work at my emotional sobriety. As with all addictions if I remain around the dark stuff long enough, I can fall right back into it. Program for me is a way of life. Discovering boundaries has been one of the most valuable tools that allows me to continue my journey of healing. I remain forever committed and grateful to the CoDA program.Brita G.  02.10.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/31/26

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Space for Me in the WorldI always thought that I was so sweet, compassionate and empathetic in my relationships and that I was really there for people, and who wouldn’t want that? Why was I not appreciated and why did I feel such crushing resentment towards those I loved? Why did I feel I didn’t belong?As I worked my CoDA program, I realized that people-pleasing, playing small and not creating healthy boundaries did not make me a likable person. I learned that nobody really ever got to know me because I was a chameleon trying to be what everybody wanted, to avoid confrontation, to be needed and loved.I also learned in CoDA that the world wasn’t at fault and needed to improve! At first, that was a tough lesson, but as I continued to work the Steps, go to meetings, strengthen my recovery with my sponsor and practice the tools in real life, I realized that it’s much more manageable (and realistic) for me to change my perception and thoughts, improve my communication skills, and with my Higher Power, release my character defects, than to expect and want the whole world to change!I feel more peace in my life than ever and my relationships are improving. I feel a sense of excitement and curiosity about life and people that I haven’t felt in a long time! And I’m finally starting to claim space in the world that was always intended for me!The CoDA program is working for me because I’m working it.Patricia T. 02.26.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/24/26

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">My Dreams Are My OwnWhen I first came to Codependents Anonymous, I struggled to say “I’m Olive, I’m codependent” during group introductions. Only days before, my partner of 5 years had left in his car, drink in hand, never to return. Why did I stay so long? I endured name-calling, screaming fits, drugs of all kinds, and physical abuse. The reason was that I was hooked on enabling, addicted to being hurt and abandoned. It felt normal, I thought it was what I deserved.When I showed up to CoDA, I wanted to understand if I was indeed codependent. One clue that I had codependent traits was that I could identify with what others shared during meetings. I compared my experiences and feelings to the literature called Patterns of Codependency and Recovery. This document divides the patterns into categories: Denial, Low Self-Esteem, Compliance, Control and Avoidance. One of the low self-esteem patterns that I identified with is: “Codependents often do not see themselves as lovable and worthwhile people.”This belief affected my relationships by being drawn to unavailable people, often those with substance use disorders. I prioritized helping someone in distress and consequently put my needs last. There never seemed to be enough time to devote to the things that mattered to me. I suffered as my dreams died. I attempted to live vicariously instead of living my own life fully.Slowly, things have changed. Now I am in my third year of recovery. I have started to recognize myself as a lovable and worthwhile person. I found a statement that moved me in literature from CoDA UK, The Differences in Codependency and Recovery: “In Codependency, my dreams I have for my future are all linked to you, in recovery, my dreams are my own, even if they include you.” This realization was a turning point in my life. I can still go in the direction of my dreams, with or without a partner. I work the Steps in two ways: with my sponsor and with my step study group. I find that support from my sponsor and step study sisters can give me hope when I need it and help me continue in my recovery. I also gain hope from The 12 Promises. One that particularly resonates with me and I desire to embody fully is “I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving, and loved.”Olive  02.12.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/17/26

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Cracking the CodeI’ve been in CoDA for 2 ½ years now.  Before CoDA, I was always anxious, upset, uptight, high-strung, and not very happy.  I always wondered why people around me seemed to have peaceful lives and healthy relationships and were really happy, but I never could crack the code on how to do that.  I always had trouble keeping friendships, jobs, relationships, and having loved ones who want to get close to me.  I knew there was something in me that worked and had potential because people would always be drawn to me at first, but then they weren’t.  I am 40 years old now, and I spent the first half of my life trying to crack the code to figure out which piece was missing to get these relationships to be maintained.I tried therapy, different churches, different jobs, different social groups, etc.  Nothing worked.  I even tried dating different types of men, but for some reason I always kept attracting narcissists and unhealthy men who just wanted to control or use me.  After a failed marriage, my counselor suggested CoDA to me.  I had never heard of it, but I had already tried everything else, and nothing worked, so I figured I’d give this a shot.  It worked for me because I had finally hit rock bottom and I was ready to change and do whatever it took to get better.  I worked through the 12 Steps and Traditions with a sponsor, attended weekly meetings, became a homegroup member, and served regularly.  I chose every day to trust and respect the process and my sponsor.  It was a willing submission.  Now I can relax and be happy no matter the situation, or if I’m single or not, because I have let go of control.  By constantly reviewing the Patterns and Characteristics in the literature, and reviewing my personal inventory, I have found a new freedom.  I respect others’ choices and don’t try to tell them what to do.  I don’t have to control the situations; I can just be and be present.  I don’t always have to know everything or figure everything out.  My health has improved mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  I have been attracting healthier people and relationships into my life.  And I am relaxed and happy.  It will still always be a work in progress.  I still attend the weekly meetings, serve, and talk to my sponsor and CoDA friends.  But I have finally cracked the code.Vicki B. 02.11.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #38 is online now!

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 23:56:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce the latest issue of its publication, themed “Path to Recovery”  <a href="https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-March-2026-Ed.-38.pdf">https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-March-2026-Ed.-38.pdf</a> MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. There is plenty of room for content in various media formats from our worldwide CoDA community. If you’d like to share your experience, strength and hope in a Meeting in Print, please see our submissions section here: <a href="https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/">https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/</a>  If you’d like to join the Co-NNections committee to help carry the message through Meeting in Print and/or Weekly Readings, please email <a class="external" href="mailto:connections@coda.org?subject=MIP%2032" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">connections@coda.org</a>.  To see more MiP issues, click the link: <a class="external" href="https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/</a> Gratefully,Your Meeting in Print subcommittee Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/10/26

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">A New Sense of BelongingMy codependence shows up in myriad ways. Low self-esteem may be the most painful and deeply rooted manifestation for me. I'm constantly afraid of saying or doing the "Wrong thing", afraid that I'll annoy or offend people around me. (Even using the word "afraid” twice in a sentence could be cause for the rejection, ridicule, dismissal, or abandonment I fear. I chose to keep it because that's what was on my heart when I wrote it.) I'm learning to be less controlled by my fears. It doesn't matter that the progress comes slowly, it is progress nonetheless.A few months ago, a new social group was being formed at work, and I decided to join because the subject matter was attractive enough to override my anxieties. The group is about exploring artistic expression and the creative process while connecting with kindred spirits. At one of the sessions, I began by scribbling with a paint marker on a landscape picture from an old wall calendar. I was feeling “not good enough” and hoped no one would look at what I was doing. But, as the evening progressed, I began to be more intentional about how I applied color. My new friends came over and were really impressed by the image that was emerging. What a pleasant surprise! Hearing their positive feedback was like an invitation for me to look at my work through a different lens. It turns out, I really like the image I created. I don't like it just because others do. My recovery allowed me to be open to seeing myself and my art differently. Instead of focusing on the flaws, I started paying attention to the colors and shapes that were there. That shift in perception carried over into noticing how these folks were responding to me with warmth, kindness and respect. All of a sudden, I belonged! Truly, I had already belonged; it was my awareness that changed.At the end of the evening, another group member and I stayed and spoke with the organizer. We talked about continuing the series beyond the original summer-only plans. While brainstorming topics for future sessions, I recognized that my input was being heard with respect as an equal partner. In fact, I'm going to be leading two of the monthly sessions in the coming year!None of this progress would have been possible before CoDA. I've been in this program for 10 years. My efforts in working the steps and traditions, reaching out and being of service are all bearing fruit. The promises are coming true for me. I am deeply grateful for the Fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous because this program has made all the difference.(My artwork is even going to be published in the March 2026 Meeting in Print here!)Caryn 02.07.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/03/26

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I Keep Coming BackI’ve been a 12-Stepper since 2014, but I didn’t discover CoDA until a few years later. I first became committed to the program back in 2017 or 2018. It was all face-to-face meetings back then. Fast forward to 2020 and the start of the pandemic, I started going to virtual meetings but then I left in 2021, came back in 2023, then left in 2024, and came back last year in November of 2025. Needless to say, I had big avoidance patterns and commitment issues in regard to my relationship with CoDA itself. (That’s my little CoDA sense of humor there).However, I’d like to give myself grace and to believe that none of it was a mistake. As I’ve learned from someone in CoDA, I always did the best I could with what I knew at the time, and when I know better, I do better. I just always thought the solution to my problems was in another fellowship, which I still go to often since 2024 among other fellowships because I’m a triple winner as some old-timers say, or I would think the solution was in a different spiritual program that had nothing to do with 12 Steps.In that journey of going in and out of different fellowships, I did some of the Steps and I even did a Step 4 and a Step 5 for the first time and finished it during the pandemic in a fellowship that wasn’t CoDA. I also learned a lot about myself within that journey and about others. I decided to recommit to CoDA meetings last year because there were a lot of changes and disruptions going on in several of my relationships, all platonic, but all of them were meaningful to me and I relapsed.I’m still recovering from some of that, including new stressors in my life now. I keep coming back because CoDA is one of the best fellowships out there in my humble opinion, especially when it comes to relationships. CoDA has so much literature that has really helped me over the years and even recently. I was able to set a boundary with a friend, and even though I was really scared of how she would react, it didn’t go bad at all.On the contrary, it was ten times better than what I expected, of course I was anxious about it all month but now that I’ve done it, at least I can relax a bit more with regards to my friendship with her. This week, I’ve noticed how I’m catching myself more before I interrupt my mom while she’s talking to me, just like how I always ask her to not interrupt me while I’m speaking. The main reason as to why I came back this time is because I’ve realized I had ignored my instincts/intuition last year with regards to certain people, and I want to be able to trust myself more before committing myself to any relationship even if it’s a sponsor or a therapist. In sum, I’ll keep coming back because it works when I work it, and I’m worth it.Shani  02.01.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/24/26

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Control to ConnectionWhen I first walked into this room, I came because of a relationship that had become codependent. When that dynamic was recognized and space was created, it broke me. I was in love, and part of me believed that if I came here and worked on myself, maybe things wouldn’t fall apart. Looking back now, I can see something clearly: it was actually the mechanics of my codependency that got me through the door — the habit of bending my will around someone else.Those first couple of months were rough. I had to let go — not just of a person, but of a fantasy. I had to quit an idea that gave me highs, crashes, and withdrawals. Letting go forced me to finally face the things I’d been running from for years: the looping anxiety, the way I chased connections that weren’t rooted in reality, and the fear that I was unlovable unless I was needed. The funny thing is, when I finally let go of trying to control the outcome, the relationship began to heal naturally. What I thought would save it never could — but surrender made room for something healthier to exist.Something shifted recently after a meeting where Step 11 came up. I’m not on that step yet, but the conversation stayed with me. I never knew how to talk to God or anything bigger than me, but I started trying — mostly alone in my car. I spend a lot of time driving, and the steady hum of the road is where my mind finally quiets. I’m not performing or overthinking — I’m just present. And somehow, it’s working. These past few weeks have been the most serene I’ve ever felt.I’ve lived with social anxiety my entire life. Recently, I traveled, spent time with friends, and felt calm and grounded. I didn’t think that was possible for me.What brought me here doesn’t define why I stay. The freedom I’m feeling now is about letting go and trusting something greater.My codependency got me here. My recovery is what’s keeping me here. This program and these rooms have been a huge part of that.Bob H. 01.21.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/17/26

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Making Dreams Come TrueAs a little girl, my thoughts and opinions were rarely, if ever, regarded kindly and surely not encouraged. I look back and realize I was never raised to ‘Dream and Believe’ (a sign I have in my office).After several years in CoDA, I have learned that it’s my responsibility to ask for what I want. Others cannot read my mind. I’ve learned that ‘progress, not perfection’ is my goal. I’m setting my perfectionistic defect aside best I can. I am able now to have dreams and make plans to explore them.I developed a love of music as a child. My father, a musician, exposed me to a lot of classical music and jazz from a young age. At 9 years old I took up violin and played throughout high school in orchestras and competitions. I hung on to my violin although I never played it for decades. Every so often I’d think about pulling it out and playing again. But on the rare occasion that I did it sounded awful – not at all like I remembered playing. So, I’d pack it away for another 10-15 years.But this fall I had a renewed interest in my violin and decided I really wanted to play it again. My big dream: to play Christmas carols with my kids and grandkids on Christmas Eve. I have a lingering childhood memory of my dad playing piano and the family singing. One of those happy experiences I remember well.First, I took my instrument to a shop and had it looked over. It needed new strings, new hair on the bow, and a few other items. The luthier was excited and energetic over the prospect of bringing my violin back to life. His enthusiasm was contagious! Next, I asked for a list of possible instructors. I knew I needed more than just brushing up. I looked around and found a teacher. I practiced diligently every single day for weeks. I asked my daughter if she would play with me on piano (my dad taught her to play). She willingly agreed, perhaps not quite as enthusiastic as I was, but willing, even to the point of coming by after work so we could ‘rehearse’ together. I searched and found music for both piano and violin in matching key signatures. We ended up with a set of nine Christmas carols.Christmas Eve arrived. After dinner I pulled out my violin. My daughter sat at the piano. We began. My 2- and 4-year-old granddaughters giggled and started dancing about. My teenaged grandsons started singing along. I relished the moment! It was everything I’d been dreaming of. I was connecting my past and present in a unique and meaningful way to me.Did I play the pieces perfectly? Absolutely not. Was it a perfect moment for me? Absolutely yes! Dreams really can come true. I’ve learned a new way of living through CoDA! And the joys and benefits are beyond my wildest dreams.Alison 01.06.2026Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/10/26

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">ApprovalAll my life I've looked for approval and my self-worth in the eyes of the men in my life. I did whatever it took to gain that approval and feel worthy to be alive on this earth, even if it went against what I believed to be moral and right. After years of “doing” to gain approval I've come to a place in my life that I am now able to look at myself and the world around me and find my real value in the eyes that look back at me in my reflection. I am finally able to just “be” a part of this world and my life without “doing” all the time. Just “being” is such an easier way to live.The definition of reflection according to Mr. Oxford is: the act or an instance of reflecting; the process of being reflected; reconsideration; an idea arising in the mind; a comment; a consequence; evidence.Over the last two years of my life, I have done a lot of reflecting on me, my life, how I've lived my life, the choices I've made which have brought me right here right now. I feel that the fact that I am “being” in my world is reflected in my life and the way I live now. I have reconsidered most of things that I used to take for granted in my life – my family, my friends, but most importantly – ME. The ideas that arise in my mind now are so different than they have ever been. My reflection of me in the mirror makes a comment about who I really am now, to me it does, and that’s what I feel really matters – the person I see in the mirror and not the person I want the world to see. If I love the one I see in the mirror, that’s all that matters. The world can have and is entitled to its own reflection of who I am. And for me now, that’s OK. In the face I see reflected in my mirror I find the consequences of the choices I've made in my life. In MY eyes I see the evidence of those consequences, and I am at long last comfortable with what I see.Odd that the word “being” would appear in that definition and not the word “doing”.Beverly V. August 10, 2001Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/03/26

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Being in CoDA has taught me a lot about my control patterns. I’ve recently realized that I can’t help but want to control the emotions of everyone around me. And more importantly, I have worn myself down into a pattern of deciding for my loved ones what they should be thinking or feeling.I suffered sexual abuse as a 10-year-old. My family covered it up because the perpetrator was my brother. I am 30 now, but I am still firmly entrenched in the victim role. This means I can’t stand it when members of my family don’t react how I would like them to. I can’t perceive them as anything but disappointing or thoughtless when they don’t meet my expectations.Although I feel that my family has been less than adequate when it comes to offering me emotional support, I have also come to realize that it isn’t just about me. I know that for a long time I have been ignoring their own possible internal dialogue. I throw that out because I want to be angry. I want to stay in the victim position and view them all as failing me. I think a long time ago I decided that as I am the victim, everyone should be giving me what I need – whether they like it or not.CoDA has helped me learn to be more accepting of other people’s struggles. Meetings enable me to remember that while I am struggling, my loved ones also have their own battles that I may know nothing about. So instead of reacting indignantly when people don’t give me the response I want, I can now take a step back and a deep breath – reminding myself that while the trauma happened to me, the associated suffering isn’t only mine. Just because my family might not feel what I feel, that doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling as much as me or in a different way. Knowing that my own feelings and thoughts are not necessarily "right" has enabled me to let go of some anger and start to behave more rationally.Today I can fully accept that I am not a mind-reader, and my intuition isn’t always correct. I am now seeing some real change, as with practice and continued support in meetings I am starting to respond rationally, rather than reacting on impulse.Laura  6/7/16Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/27/26

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Kathie’s StoryIt has been 3 years this month since I started back in CoDA on a regular basis. I used to come randomly for 3-5 previous years, which doesn’t work or didn’t work for me. I have learned so much from CoDA from my friends in my group. Watching everyone grow made me realize that I must be growing and changing, also.I have made some really wonderful friendships in my group. People that I love and care about. They have taught me it is ok to be vulnerable. They don’t judge me.When I talk at the meeting everyone listens. That makes me feel important to them. I am not used to anyone listening to me. I have always been the black sheep in my family of origin.I am working the 12 steps to the best of my ability. Every week I go to a 12-step meeting, and we thoroughly work the steps.I will keep going to CoDA. My relationships are changing all around me. I have friends who care about ME. Isn’t that Awesome!!God bless,  Kathie B. 11.24.2015Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/20/26

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Dating Again After CodependencyWhen I began dating again after a codependent relationship, I thought the hardest part was behind me. I had done months of CoDA meetings. I had learned about boundaries, detachment, and letting go. What surprised me was how quickly old patterns showed up in new places.I noticed myself becoming performative. I filled silences. I asked follow-up questions before they were offered. I softened my words so no one would feel uncomfortable. I managed conversations so they would not fade. None of this felt dramatic. It felt familiar.In CoDA, I learned that codependency is not about being needy or weak. For me, it was about over-functioning. I learned to stay connected by anticipating needs, smoothing tension, and carrying emotional labor that was never named. That pattern kept relationships going, but it also kept me exhausted.As a woman, I had been trained to be relationally responsible. As a teacher, that training was reinforced daily. I was rewarded for being attuned, prepared, and emotionally steady. Over time, I learned to associate care with effort and to distrust ease. When I brought that into dating, I realized I was still working for connection instead of allowing it.CoDA helped me notice the difference between presence and performance. I began to see how often I took responsibility for momentum that was not mine to carry. When I practiced pausing instead of filling space, I felt discomfort. I expected something to fall apart. Nothing did.I am learning that connection does not require me to manage it. I can respond without over-explaining. I can let conversations end without rescuing them. I can allow others to show me who they are without scaffolding the interaction.This is not about becoming distant or detached. It is about becoming honest. I am learning that what is mutual does not require my constant labor. I am allowed to rest inside connection instead of holding it together.Dating in recovery is not about doing it perfectly. It is about noticing old reflexes with compassion and choosing differently when I can. I am learning that I am not the glue. I do not have to earn connection through effort. What is meant for me will meet me without my over-functioning.Kristin G. 12.23.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/13/26

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">They Called Me BraveIn October of 2009—after several hospitalizations—I was diagnosed with Severe Depression and Anxiety and admitted into the Intensive Outpatient Program at the hospital. I began working on my issues of depression and was told repeatedly that I was codependent. It was suggested that I attend CoDA meetings as well as therapy. I screwed up the courage, found a meeting and went.It was the third week of October. I got lost (I am also directionally challenged). I was tearful and upset when I knocked on the door of the meeting. Even though I was late they allowed me to enter. I sat and listened. I was too anxious to hear much, but the group was warm and welcoming, and I was given pamphlets and information. I went to my second meeting in Glenview. I was very nervous; again, I was treated with warmth, understanding and compassion. As I listened, I realized they were speaking a language I understood. I felt as if I belonged and was no longer alone.I am the oldest of 6, had an alcoholic father and a mentally ill mother, and my grandparents were also alcoholic and mentally unstable. Secrets were common in my family. The secrets were destructive. I was praised for caring for my brothers and sisters, doing chores and being good. I was raged at and made to feel that I was nothing. It was a rough childhood. I was abandoned by my mother repeatedly and also have abandonment issues, which worked right into me being codependent.My desire to be loved was stronger than I could deal with and I spent many nights crying myself to sleep. My first suicide attempt was when I was 13. Throughout the years I have tried many times. I had five children and held many jobs. I raged. I was unhappy. I was promiscuous. I stayed in relationships too long. The men in my life were emotionally not present and/or alcoholics. I allowed myself to be battered. My life was totally unmanageable.I spent my first two years listening and finding the sources of my codependency. I attended workshops, retreats and conferences. I worked the steps with another member. I went out with groups for fellowship and attended two meetings a week. I knew I was very much the victim type but hadn’t yet realized I was also controlling. I told my story at a conference and afterward people kept coming up and thanking me for sharing. They called me brave. I was shaking inside, I sure didn’t feel brave, and yet so many people over the years have come up to me and told me that my story and shares have helped them.I have realized the how and why of my codependency and I have felt the continuing pull of it, even now after almost 10 years in the program. I know I will not ever graduate from this program, but I am changing and have changed so very much. I am almost the person I want to be, thanks to CoDA!Barbara M. 08/01/2019Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2026 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/06/26

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">My Recovery Is StrongFor me, Recovery seems to be a slow process. Slow, with pauses, retreats and progress. I have not experienced major, life-changing moments of insight or revelation.  I have chronic depression and ADHD-I and it's clear to me that these affect my Recovery.  Still, there is evidence of Recovery. How do I know that if I'm not experiencing major breakthroughs and my life has not dramatically been transformed? This is how: I now have an understanding of and relationship to my Higher Power. I've come to understand that my higher power is within me.  It is my wisdom and compassion.  And my Higher Power is also something transcendent that I can pray to and ask for guidance from.  I know my Recovery is happening because I have had the same co-sponsor for 8 years.  We have met only virtually as we are on opposite sides of the country and yet our mutual support is strong. It is grounded in CoDA principles.  I also have a home group that I attend fairly regularly and, recently, have begun attending meetings more frequently on an as-needed basis.In other words, my Recovery is strong because I am practicing the tools of Recovery.  I don't know whether I will ever be free of the impact of chronic depression and ADHD-I.  I don't know if I will ever have major breakthroughs in my life. I aspire to and often fully believe that my life and its timing are on course. I do know that Serenity is present even when I don't feel happy or accomplished. It resides within me.  Always. Whether I feel it or not.H. R. 12.02.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/30/25

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Paddy’s StoryFourteen years after I left my first marriage with my two young children, because he had once again asked me to stop focusing on getting MY college degree and go back to work, I knew I had hit my bottom, especially after I had been accepted into a prestigious local university. At that time in 1987, a popular book about Women getting into unhealthy relationships had been published and I was attending a group with other women looking at our codependency issues, singing to myself “I haven’t got time for the pain…” Little did I know.In 1988, my introduction was into 12-step meetings for other dysfunction. Eventually, three years ago I found my way to a women’s CoDA meeting but not before I had another failed marriage. Later I was able to see my part: I blamed him for all our failures as he was my ‘fixer upper project.’ I knew then that this was the core to all my wounds from childhood that I continued to carry with me with devastating effects on many of my personal and professional relationships. Focusing on others’ and having the power to tell them what to do became a professional role I excelled at… the need to be right and to control outcome. How it played out in my professional life brought great ego satisfaction but how it played out in my personal life, i.e... husband #2, was another divorce. He had his own abusive issues towards me for which I practiced recovery skills and good boundaries. I still wanted to focus on him, fix him, so I wouldn’t have to focus on me. And I didn’t love myself enough to leave sooner. I still have trauma responses from being afraid of him at night and continue to have sleep issues eight years later.Being single and with children launched, now I notice how I continue in such subtle ways to focus in an unhealthy manner on myself…I can’t fix me fast enough at times. I have learned to be patient, kind, tolerant, forgiving, unconditionally loving to myself and others, and to ask for help from my community of recovering sisters. I feel deep gratitude for this program that has brought me ‘home to myself’ with the conscious daily contact with the God of my understanding. In service, I have found I can love and care for others through sponsorship, meeting support through work and attendance, and to carry the message of healing from fear, worry, and control to a sense of inner peace and true freedom. That scared little girl no longer believes she is a mistake when she makes a mistake. I have gained more emotional maturity through being honest and vulnerable in the CoDA Recovery program.Paddy R. 11/2015Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/23/25

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Detachment with LoveI learned through attending CoDA meetings that detaching does not mean I don’t care.  It means I have learned to love myself, to love the people in my life and not to get involved in their business.  I used to believe that by trying to control situations, worrying excessively, and forcing things to go the way I wanted, I was demonstrating how much I cared. However, I eventually realized that I was trying to play the role of God, thinking I knew what was best for everyone around me. I came to understand that I am powerless over others, and that my attempts to control everything had made my life unmanageable.The rewards of detaching with love and staying in my own business enhanced my relationships. It also provided me with a deep sense of serenity and peace.  Detachment allowed me to find the freedom to find solutions to my own problems.  Sometimes detachment even motivates and frees the people around me to solve their own problems.Detachment is based on the premises that each person is responsible for himself and that I can’t solve problems that aren’t mine to solve. If people have created some disasters for themselves, I allow them to face their own music.  I allow them to be who they are.  I give them the freedom to be responsible and grow.  I gave myself that same freedom.  I needed to stop trying to change what I can’t change.  I try to live happily – focusing on what is good in my life and I feel grateful for that.   Every time I feel myself being pulled into other people’s nonsense…I repeat these words,” Not my monkeys, not my circus.” Or I ask myself, “Who’s business is it? God’s business? My business? or Another person’s business?”Detachment involves “present moment living.”  I allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control everything. I relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future.  I make the most of each day, One Day at a Time and ask God to give me the serenity to Let Go and Let God handle all my problems.  These slogans allowed me to replace stress and worry with faith and serenity.  Today, I am choosing to trust God with my life.  My actions, thoughts, and choices will unfold when the time is right, as I have surrendered them to Him, and I know He will guide me.Judy O. 12.11.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/15/25

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I Am EnoughI was feeling lonely. By working the Steps I realize that I was ignored as a child. I was told, by their actions, that I wasn’t important. But I was. As an adult, I continued this dysfunction by ignoring myself. I believed that others were more important than I was. This attracted people into my life that also believed they were more important than I was. I would spend years doing whatever it took to get noticed, which included many positive and negative actions. Now I know I’m enough. I take care of myself. I will not appease people who do not see and agree with my truth. Everyone experiences loneliness. Many suffer at this time of year. The program has given me the tools and the support to find my true self.   I am enough.Leah M.  12.02.2015Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/09/25

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">CourageOne of the most eye-opening pieces of literature for me in CoDA are the Patterns of Recovery. One of the patterns that I could relate to was: Codependents often compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger. I recently had a situation where I experienced the "In Recovery" side of the pattern. In recovery I am rooted in my values, even if others don't agree or become angry. I was told to do something at work that is not mandatory, and I do not enjoy doing. I am happy to help where I can, and I often do things I am asked to do that do not fall under my job description. However, this was not one of those things. I approached my boss and asked her to please find someone else. She got angry and even made a comment about how she was hoping I would be flexible. I expressed that I was happy to help where I can, but this was not mandatory and therefore I would be opting out. In the past I would've either not had the courage to approach her for fear of her reaction (anger), approached her and asked timidly and then acquiesced, or set the boundary and ruminated all day over the matter and be in fear of retaliation or fear of her being mad at me "forever". I stood my ground and felt good about myself. I did ruminate a little on the situation but nothing major and I called a couple of people to process the situation. I still struggle with compliance, but ever since joining CoDA I've been able to speak up for myself and set/uphold appropriate boundaries.OJ 10.30.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/02/25

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">The Art of Letting Go Before I started coming to CoDA meetings, I had no clue how much control I was holding onto. I didn’t even think I had control issues — I just thought I was managing my life the best I could. I’m really grateful my friend told me about this program, because I can see now how much I needed it. From the second I walked in, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be.About once a month I do breathwork, and before it starts, they always ask you to set an intention — what you want to get out of the session. I never really have a clear answer for that, but this time, I tied it into my step work. Since I’ve been working Step Two, I said, “I want to trust the universe.”By the time I came out of that session, I realized something big — I had actually moved into Step Three. It wasn’t just a thought — I felt it. I saw how this constant need to control everything — every thought, every emotion, every situation — was really just my way of trying to hold myself together.I don’t control other people — I control myself in relation to them. I control situations, how I feel, what I do — all in an effort to keep things safe and together. And a lot of the time, I do it through subtle manipulation. Not in a cruel way — but by trying to manage outcomes, soften truths, say things just right so people react the way I need them to. It’s still control, just dressed up to look like care. All in an effort to keep things safe and together.But the truth is, in the end, I fall to pieces anyway. I don’t even let myself feel the effects of this because I’m afraid of losing control. And I’m tired, really tired of living that way.So, I’m letting go. I’m choosing to trust that the universe has me. I’m done trying to control myself into safety. I want to let life flow through me instead of constantly fighting it. I want to move forward and have healthy relationships — not just for me, but for the people in my life who get caught in my fear and control.I’m ready for something more.Bob H. 10.29.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/25/25

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 15:01:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">GratitudeIn celebration and honor of November the gratitude month for 12-Step Programs. Before CoDA my life was lived in chaos, reactively bouncing from one disaster to another in surprising speed with shocking results. I was out of control. I came by my addictive personality honestly and set out to put my inheritance to its full use. One day returning from work, my late wife suggested I might benefit from CoDA. This was a suggestion she said she received about me from an AA hot line. Being the good codependent I am I immediately found coda.org, read the web site, located a nearby Saturday meeting and felt hope. Which is kind of surprising in hindsight since I was not aware at the time of feeling hopeless. My first face-to-face meeting was a positive experience as helpful as reading the CoDA Foundation documents on coda.org had been. I still attend that meeting. In time, I found a sponsor and began working the Twelve Steps. I overcame a fury against God, my parents and myself.In time after many years of resistance I decided to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood God. My 4th Step was dark, deep and painful. Then my defects began to be taken away. I recall the relief and joy when anger was suddenly removed. My joy was short lived because I discovered fear and shame were hiding behind anger. I never experienced the sudden removal of a character defect again. A little over two years ago I joined a Step Study Group to work on helping the God of my understanding to take my fear. About six months in I discovered to my surprise my fear was gone. When it was taken, I do not know. Since its removal was not noticed, I had continued to use the language of fear only to discover I was left with normal worries.The last decade of my life has been the best decade. I feel free, serene and at peace. This is a state I do not take for granted. My recovery feels fragile and requires constant vigil, acceptance and self-love with the grace of my loving God. I accept the pain I caused others and myself before my long hard fall and I understand without my long hard fall I would not have today’s recovery. I love the freedom and peace of recovery and will continue to work my program in gratitude.Don B  11.03.2016Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/18/25

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 11:22:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Stage of LifeEvery year my life changes. Change is the one thing I can always depend on, whether good or bad. With each change comes self-reflection and new strategies for what I am going to do, or how I’m going to react. Change is something I take seriously.When I have to decide, CoDA has taught me to make a list of pros and cons. CoDA has taught me to look at the problem 360 degrees.After 30 years and still involved in CoDA life I think proactively and not reactively. Not every choice is a great one, but it is still a choice. I have to systematically make decisions due to my Steps and knowledge of CoDA. I feel the tools and skills I have come to know have truly made my life better. When I make decisions, I was taught to think, “What will this do to my present state of mind?” “Am I going to favor and cherish the choice?”The choice can all of a sudden go into a direction I did not want it to go in because I did not think it through. They say, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.” This has always hit home to me. I am in a situation now where I must step back and make a list of pros and cons. It always helps me make the right decisions. All the Steps and sharing in CoDA has allowed me the right to speak for myself, continue to have boundaries, and live with hard decisions.Bernadette C. 10/20/25Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/11/25

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Good ThingsI read the affirmation today “I deserve the good things that happen in my life” and it took me by surprise. As a codependent from an alcoholic background, my focus and energy was always directed toward preventing major catastrophes from happening to others and myself. It seemed as though the good things others were experiencing were out of reach for me and not even a possibility. For I thought I was a cripple and not deserving or able to experience good things.Today, in CoDA, I am changing – beginning to open up to the possibility that good things happen and that I deserve them. That’s what the CoDA program has done for me. It has allowed a breadth of vision that includes an attitude that I, too, am a child of a Loving Creator who wants me to have good things. My responsibility today through the Twelve Steps will be to believe that I deserve them and they will happen.Carey B. 2011Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/04/25

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Resenting CoDASix months into CoDA, I look back on one resentment I had from the start — the resentment of CoDA itself. I had no good reason to resent CoDA, but I was envious that my wife got into CoDA before I did. In decades of therapy, not once did a therapist mention CoDA to me. Yet, in her first session of therapy, my wife was pointed toward CoDA. Her recovery took off. In many ways, I felt left behind, still floundering in my unmanageable life.When my wife showed me the characteristics of codependency, I exclaimed, “I’m more codependent than you are!” A better analysis is that we are codependent in different ways; my tendencies may be more visible and pronounced than my wife’s. It doesn’t really matter, does it?The longer my wife was in CoDA, the more my resentment grew. I was envious,  irritated, and confused. Ultimately, I believed controlling the situation was the antidote to my frustration.I didn’t learn about resentments until working on Step Four with my sponsor and immediately realized that I’d been unaware of how many I was carrying toward others. Living with resentments is not living into the promises of CoDA and the Twelve Steps. Working through them has begun to bring me a newfound freedom, the one that is promised when we do the work of the Twelve Steps.In my first six months in CoDA, acknowledging my resentments toward others, including CoDA itself, has been important. I’m grateful for what Higher Power reveals each day as I continue to work the Twelve Steps of CoDA.Ryan G. 09.12.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/28/25

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Recovery and HealingI have always liked analyzing myself and my environment. Today I believe this is partly a symptom of my parentified-codependent functioning. I noticed that analyzing and rationalizing doesn't help healing. It also delays or makes change impossible, so I began striving for deeper self-knowledge and self-acceptance in the fall of 2023, when I joined the CoDA online community. My mother's alcohol problems significantly contributed to my self-esteem, as well as my internal image of the world, shaping my belief system. In harder times, I force toxic positivity on myself, but today I can see its harmful effects and consequences. My father is surely codependent besides an addicted person, but perhaps he has also become depressed in recent years. I find it difficult to accept that I cannot change my loved ones living in my environment, because it hurts to see how they make unfavorable decisions, engaging in self-sabotage, sometimes self-destruction. In CoDA I am learning to accept with patience: the only one I can change is myself.My relationship has been healthier since I've been working on myself. I have a sponsor and with the help of meditations I can reflect daily on my inner child, my experiences, my momentary state of mind. The step work also supports me in remaining emotionally sober and realistic. I gratefully thank you for allowing me to share this.Lilla 08.03.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/21/25

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 12:43:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">The First Step in Reverse“We admitted we were powerless over others—that our lives had become unmanageable.”; —Step One, Co-Dependents Anonymous.When I first read Step One, I thought it was simply about giving up—surrendering to the chaos I couldn’t seem to stop. It sounded like a white flag. But the more I sat with it, the more I came to see it not as weakness, but as wisdom. Step One is not only a confession—it is a compass, a diagnostic tool, a law of emotional and spiritual gravity.I began to notice a pattern in my own life. Every time I felt anxious, resentful, exhausted, or bitterly confused, I had almost always started trying to manage something that wasn’t mine to manage—someone else’s choices, moods, reactions, healing, timing, or consequences.Eventually, I found myself flipping Step One around in my head. Not just “I am powerless,” but this: If my life is unmanageable, I must be trying to control something—or someone—that doesn’t belong to me. And that’s when the truth hit home.The Women I Tried to RescueThat same pattern showed up in nearly every romantic relationship I had before recovery. I gravitated toward women in crisis—those who were struggling with addiction, abuse, or deep emotional wounds. I saw myself as the healer, the one who would love them into wholeness. But underneath that was a painful truth: I didn’t know how to love myself unless I was saving someone else.As CoDA literature says: “We have become so absorbed in others that we have lost sight of ourselves.” —CoDA Blue Book, page 3.My life became a revolving door of emotional rescues—and each time the relationship crashed, I would spiral into self-pity and confusion. The reality? I wasn’t being kind. I wasn’t being noble. I was being controlling, and I was addicted to feeling needed.The Spiritual Law of Step OneEventually, I came to see Step One as a kind of spiritual law: If I try to control what is not mine to control, I am promised that my life will become unmanageable—and likely, miserable.It’s not a punishment. It’s just the way reality works—like trying to push a river upstream or hold back the tide with my bare hands. And it applies in every corner of my life.When I obsess about what my grown children are doing or not doing… When I rehearse conversations in my head with people who wronged me… When I get caught up in fixing someone else’s recovery, instead of tending to my own… That’s when I know I’ve crossed the boundary. I’ve left the serenity of my own life and tried to live someone else’s.As CoDA reminds me: “We are each responsible for our own lives. No one can take our responsibility away, nor can we carry the responsibility of another.” —CoDA Blue Book, page 31.The Turn Toward HealingToday, when I feel overwhelmed, I pause and ask myself: “What am I trying to control that doesn’t belong to me?” It’s a simple question, but it’s saved me from countless spirals.The truth is, recovery began for me not when I got stronger, but when I got clearer—when I stopped trying to hold up the world and started learning how to hold myself. “When I let go of control, I make space for serenity. When I stop managing others, I give myself back to myself.”That’s the promise of Step One. That’s where clarity begins. And that’s where my healing lives.Byrle S. 05.16.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/14/25

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Released From BondageHi, my name is Olivia. I have been in CoDA seriously for about 20 years. The first couple of years I didn’t seriously work the program. I just wanted to be better. I wanted to be healed. I wanted my feelings of loneliness to disappear. Then about three years ago I seriously started working the program. I chose a sponsor and we worked through the Twelve Steps workbook doing the work. I attended meetings regularly and shared regularly from the bottom of my heart and soul, really sharing who I was, of my fears and loneliness.  Slowly through working the program, working the Steps, sharing gut level with my fellow CoDA friends in each meeting has released me from the bondage I felt. I feel this program is God sent to me. It is a miracle. I now love myself, respect myself and trust myself. I am no longer afraid of others. I feel equal to others, no matter their standing in life. I know I am a miracle of God.  Relationships were very difficult for me. Now I have relationships with equal partners. I am in love for the first time in my life! I demand respect from both my partner and my friends. I no longer have to look to others for my feelings of self-worth. I have that power within me with God‘s grace. Praise God! My two failed marriages were because I didn’t love myself so I couldn’t love someone else with the love they deserved. I could not freely love with abandonment because I was too scared.  Now I am free. I am not saying that I don’t suffer from occasional codependent episodes but now I realize while I am in them that I can step out and trust myself and honor myself and my feelings and choose health. I hope this helps someone out there who reads this that there is hope and freedom in this program. With much love.    Olivia, a grateful recovering codependent. 09.02.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/07/25

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 11:29:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Emotional PrisonBefore CoDA, I lived in a kind of emotional lockdown. I isolated and withdrew from others — not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t feel safe. I thought I had to protect myself from being hurt, rejected, or judged. What I didn’t see then was that I was building walls, not boundaries. I was keeping myself in, not keeping others out.I also struggled with self-sabotage. I would set goals, make plans, and then undermine myself — either by procrastinating, doubting myself, or giving up before I even tried. Deep down, I didn’t believe I deserved good things, and I was terrified of failing… or even succeeding.On top of that, I carried a strong victim mentality. I constantly felt like life was happening to me. I would replay past wounds, blaming others or my circumstances for my pain, without realizing I was handing away my power every time I did that.CoDA gave me a new lens. Through listening to others share their truth, working the steps, and showing up — even when I didn’t feel like it — I began to see how these patterns were rooted in fear, shame, and unresolved trauma. I wasn’t broken — I was surviving the best way I knew how.Recovery is helping me take emotional risks — reaching out when I want to isolate, being honest when I’d rather shut down, and allowing myself to be seen and supported. I’m learning to show up for myself, not just others. I still have days when I slip into old patterns, but now I have tools, awareness, and a fellowship that reminds me I’m not alone.Today, I know the emotional prison I was in isn’t permanent. The door was never locked — I just didn’t know how to walk through it. Recovery is helping me find the key — one share, one step, one day at a time.Desiree B. 08.28.2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 09/30/25

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Money and RecoveryI struggle with money. I’m a saver not a spender. I can pinpoint a moment in my childhood when I received the message ‘spending money is bad, saving money is good.’ Wanting to be a good little girl it became difficult to spend my babysitting money on myself or anyone else. I felt shame when I spent money. It gradually shifted into unworthiness, not deserving of nice or fun things. In high school my friends and I would go out for a soda. I’d order only water. I felt guilty spending my money. As a young adult it became hitchhiking for free transportation and not buying enough food for myself.However, in many ways the actual saving vs spending has served me well. I have no debt. I never misused credit cards. I worked hard to pay off my house and cars. It’s the emotional toll that’s been devastating. The deep depressions it has triggered. The tears and stress and pain of living in a false sense of reality.I walked into the rooms of CoDA nine years ago. I have heard the Promises, slogans and affirmations many times over and over. I am enough and I have enough. I am a unique and precious creation. I matter. I am perfectly me. I know a new way to live. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And I need to remind myself of these truths regularly.Last month I was on a camping trip with my husband. As we were strolling along the beach he brought up money. He wanted to give away a significant chunk of money. I immediately was triggered. I shut down. I ran inside myself and angrily questioned why he was doing this to me. We were on a vacation — why bring this up and why bring this up now?It took me an hour, maybe two to quiet all those voices in my head. My recovery brain needed time to kick in. I needed clarity. He had asked my opinion, so I asked myself what DO I want? I finally could give myself a voice. I spoke up and said, “No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ He said ‘Okay.’ And with that it was over.I had blown this up in my mind. It was all about me. When in reality it was not about me at all.The lesson I’m continually learning through CoDA is to stop running away. Stop shutting down. Stop abandoning myself and others. As I strive for healthy and loving relationships I must face the conflict. Embrace the opportunity. Speak my truth.I am so grateful for CoDA. Without it I’d remain off-balance. But with tools of the program, affirmations, meetings, recovery friends and my sponsor I can reset and choose to live in the space with a realistic perspective of money and me. I’m a work in progress, progress not perfection.Ali 08.23.2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 09/23/25

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Humility and Step SevenOver the last few years in CoDA I have contemplated the word humility and wondered what it means and how it might help me find some relief from my character defects.  Step Seven reads, “Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.” In the first six steps I am building my relationship with a power greater than myself, so I can grow and change and have a spiritual awakening that will improve my ability to have healthy and loving relationships. My shortcomings, my codependent patterns, keep me from God and emotional sobriety.  Therefore, it is clear to me that having some humility is a basic requirement for finding growth in CoDA. What is my concept of humility? Teachability; openness to new ideas; not just open to listening to them but open to taking action on them. A sense that my ideas are possibly flawed. A sense that my view of the world, my assumptions, might be false, or at least partly false. The willingness to listen to others’ advice and take action on it. The willingness to give others the benefit of the doubt.It's a state of mind which is available to me only through the grace of God; my willingness to reach out and remain willing to change is the key. It's an openness to new ideas and a positive attitude which intuitively guides me toward acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance, love, self-discipline, kindness, toughness and courage. It tells me that I'm a unique, special child of God but that I'm not terminally unique. I may be one of God's kids, but God has billions of other kids. It helps me cooperate. It helps me channel my outrage, fear, resentment, rebelliousness, and perpetual victimhood into power, connection, and love for fellow human beings. In short, humility is the key spiritual mechanism or attitude with which I can approach God and actually have some hope that he/she/it may even change me for the better.Anonymous  08.03.2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 09/16/25

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">The Year I Turned 14Until the age of 14, I lived with my mother and two older brothers. My home life was unstable, and I didn’t feel fully protected or emotionally supported. When I was 14, during a weekend visit to my aunt’s house, I met a 24-year-old man. I was still a child and unsure about my feelings, but he showed interest in me. One night, while I was watching a movie, he came into the room and tried to have sex with me. I told him I was a virgin, but he ignored it and still penetrated me briefly, before I pushed him away because it hurt so badly. The next morning, I heard him having sex with his teenage girlfriend, who I later learned was only 16 or 15 years old. Despite this painful experience, I kept in contact with him through text. Looking back, I realize I was naive and didn’t fully understand what love was. I returned the following weekend, and I remember an older family member coming out, causing the man to jump off the couch quickly, as if he knew what he was doing was wrong. He lied to his family, telling them I was 18 and used a fake name for me. Around that time, my mom got evicted, and I ended up moving in with him at just 14. He told me to drop out of school so people wouldn’t see me leaving his house, which I did for a while. Later, I went back to school but continued living with him.We stayed together for years. When I finally turned 18, he was 28, and shortly after, the relationship ended. He told me to just move on, and it felt like he hated me by then. After leaving, I moved to another state. Very quickly, I entered new relationships, trying to fill the emptiness I felt. Within weeks, I met my child’s father and moved in with his family, who welcomed me. Even in my new relationship, I often found myself missing the older man, despite believing now that he groomed me. Throughout my life, I’ve rarely been single, moving from one relationship to another, and I’ve realized this pattern might be rooted in codependency and a fear of being alone.I’m still healing and trying to understand how my childhood, grooming, and unstable home environment shaped my relationships and my sense of self.  CoDA has been a great support in helping me with that. I'm able to stand on my own two feet, make the best decisions for myself and my children, find my own identity and passions and move forward in life gracefully. Denesha M. 07/31/2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 09/09/25

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">The Promises Come TrueI’m Sara, I’m codependent.BEFORE: (“Have difficulty identifying feelings. Minimize, alter or deny their feelings.” – Denial Patterns) I came to CoDA on October 16th, 1999, because I was 37 years old and still trying to do whatever I assumed my parents wanted me to do – at my own expense. I believed I could never do enough to please them. I didn’t know myself or what made me happy. I was miserable.   AFTER: (“I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved” – Promise 5) I learned in CoDA that it’s ok and important to be myself. I learned a lot about my true self in doing my Step 4 Inventory; discovering my assets as well as things that no longer work for me. I set some boundaries and showed my parents my genuine self. Before, I knew they loved me because I was their daughter, but it didn’t mean much because they didn’t know me. Now, they do.   BEFORE: (“Dedicated to the well-being of others” – Denial Pattern) I used to carry the world on my shoulders, thinking I had to save everyone. I could always think of someone who was sad and “assumed the same feelings” (Compliance Pattern).   AFTER: (“We admitted we were powerless over others….” Step 1) It’s great now that I know everyone has his or her own Higher Power and it’s not me. I believe now that it’s ok for me to be happy. That’s my job and I respect others to take care of themselves and to ask if they want my help.   BEFORE: (“put aside personal interests and hobbies to do what others want” – Compliance Pattern) Like I said, I didn’t even know what I wanted at first. Then, I’d just go along with what other people wanted because I didn’t want to make waves.   AFTER: (“I overcome my fears and act with …integrity” – Promise 2) I speak up. Those are just three little words, but it’s so huge for me to do that.   This is just a small sample of what CoDA has meant to me. I have a great relationship with myself, with my wife of 18 years, with my parents, with my friends and with my Higher Power. Thanks CoDA!Sara J.  01/03/2016Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 09/02/25

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Love and CodependenceI have been in CoDA for 2.5 years now and can definitely say that this program was sent to me by God! I had problems with love relationships from the beginning of time. I always felt that something was wrong with me until I found the program. I now know that I inherited codependency and love addiction from my parents but am not blaming them or angry at them anymore as I do realize they too inherited it from their parents. It is a generational disease, just like physical diseases and it takes courage, self-awareness, and surrender to God’s plan to change things. I want to share my new understanding of the sentence that I read almost two years ago in CoDA literature that “Love and Codependence cannot coexist”. I did not understand it well when I read it for the first time, but it made me pause because love relationships were definitely my Achilles heel. After a divorce many years ago, many failed relationships and many times having a broken heart, today I can say that I believe that love and codependence cannot coexist. They are mutually exclusive. I finally realized that I was not looking for love, even though I thought I was, but for validation and external acceptance. Until I finally understood that until and unless I love, accept and validate myself first, no healthy love will be a part of my life. For the first time in my life, I was able to walk away from an unhealthy relationship and chose me instead. It feels very good even though the old feelings of fear sometimes want to take over, but I know how to handle them now. Being in codependent relationships has cost me time, energy and money I can never recover. They were relationships of my will and not God’s will even though, often I thought that God had abandoned me because a person of my affection did not reciprocate. I stayed in relationships where I allowed myself to be emotionally abused and mistreated because I was too afraid to be alone. But now I know I am not alone because I have my HP on my side all of the time. All these two decades God did not abandon me, rather it was me who abandoned God through my self-will, fear and desperation. I hope that my share helps anybody who reads it and realizes that self-love, self-esteem, self-worth are the keys to having loving and healthy relationships. Thank you, CoDA, and my sponsors and recovery friends. Katie 03/09/2016 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 08/26/25

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 12:12:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Day by DayI have been in Co-Dependents Anonymous for 8 months now, joined in July of 2015. My son brought me to a 12-step group. He is now a recovering drug addict. I have to thank my Higher Power every day for his addiction, otherwise I would not have come through the doors of CoDA. The first step says, "We admitted we were powerless over others, that our lives had become unmanageable." I was powerless over my son and his addiction and over pretty much everything else, except my recovery. Through working the 12 Steps, I am living differently. My son is not my God anymore; I have and serve the God of my understanding in which I turn over everything that is stressing me out for the day. I am better and can relate to my son in a healthier way. I no longer need to be in his business, because if I am playing his savior, his rescuer, then how will he know he needs a Higher Power, if I was playing that role. I also have learned many things I was taking on; it was not my job! Also, I have established boundaries with those who are just mean and nasty with me at work. I have learned to not seek their approval, nor to allow them to treat me with disrespect. I actually spoke up for myself and told them clearly with respect, here is how you treat me and speak to me. I am no one’s doormat anymore. They are treating me better, respecting my boundaries and I am more confident. I no longer live in fear of rejection nor get angry because I failed to help myself. My son’s addiction is a blessing in disguise – he is clean and sober as far as I know and whatever happens I will be fine and so will the rest of my family. For me recovery comes when I establish a daily contact with my Higher Power. I started a hot yoga class. They told me to keep coming back- the same expression I hear in CoDA. Each class I see more small and minuscule changes. But I am down 30 pounds and healthier. That is what working the 12 Steps is like for me! Working the Steps is transforming me from the inside out. I am healthier now inside and out. I sponsor one person now and ask on a daily basis, "How is your program? What are you doing to get better?" Stephanie K.  03/09/2016 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 08/19/25

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Codependency and My DogWhen my dog wags his tail, I smile. He is happy. So, I’m happy. Often, all I have to do is walk into the living room and I’ll hear the thumping of his tail on the hardwood floor. It is his visible and audible sign that he is happy to see me. When I return home from work and he runs over to greet me, I enjoy that feeling of being needed. I am codependent with my dog and I’m OK with that.   I don’t go to Co-Dependents Anonymous because I am codependent. As the CoDA blue book says, we are all a little bit codependent. I go to CoDA because, after many years, I found myself at Step 1. With my codependency to those around me, I finally recognized I was powerless. My life was unmanageable. I hit bottom.   I have had those close to me ask me why I need a 12-step group for codependency if we are all a little codependent. Some have said that codependency is just normal. For me, I recognize that I can emotionally handle some codependency in my life, especially some codependency with my dog. Yet, when it comes to codependency with people close to me, I easily spiral out of control. Sometimes, we both spiral out of control in a double helix downward spiral, feeding off one another. I couldn’t go on that way. I needed to make changes.   I have often wished that people had tails that wagged. That way I would have some clear cues that they like me and are thinking positive thoughts about me. Years ago when I first entered recovery, a sponsor said to me, "What people think about you is none of your business." That saying really irritated me. It took me years to understand what he meant. Through CoDA, through working the Steps, I have found a piece of that inner acceptance. I have found a willingness to like myself, to feel confident, to have an opinion different than those around me or even to have an opinion that others close to me may not like. I love that feeling of boundaries. It is my breath of fresh air.   Chris S.  12/04/2015Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 08/12/25

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 16:01:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">A New Way to LiveMy life before CoDA was one full of anxiety, anger, control issues, and approval-seeking behavior — doing things I didn’t want to do to be liked or loved, avoidance, and unable to handle changes in my life or when things didn’t go the way that I had expected. I worked hard to try and make everyone happy. I couldn’t make the hard or healthy choices. I didn’t trust anyone or let myself be vulnerable to anyone. I never stood up for myself or spoke my thoughts to other family members because I didn’t want to upset anyone or “rock the boat.” I became burnt out and exhausted, and I just couldn’t continue in the same manner!I had a breakdown in 2013 and sought help for myself. And I started seeing a therapist for a few years, but help came in the form of a new friend early last year. After a few conversations with her we connected, and she spoke of CoDA and the idea of recovery. So, I started going to meetings at her house. It’s been 11 months, I think. I’ve had some ups and downs. I’ve made mistakes but I know that I am not alone! I have learned to practice the steps at home with my husband and boys, and it has really helped to change the type of mother I am. I feel much better now, and I’m sharing with my family what I learn so that they don’t have to wait until they are grown up to deal with things and so that we all learn the importance of not trying to control others and being more accepting of others.Yes, I go to meetings and I have a sponsor. I worked really fast through the steps up until Step 6. Then I just stopped rushing, and now I am taking my time learning to live using the recovery processes and steps as well as taking time to share with others. I thank God for recovery because I don’t think I would have made it this far. I now have better, stronger, safer, healthier relationships with people, and I have learned to identify those who are not available to me and to stay away or get away from those who don’t support CoDA or recovery. I have learned to have strength to end unhealthy relationships even if it means a family member. And to not feel guilty about protecting myself.Cherie M  4.18.2017 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 08/05/25

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Overcoming PerfectionismEver since rounding up to one year of being in CoDA, this April, I thought that it might be a good idea to "celebrate" with writing something for others to read. I have been putting it off. My perfectionism wouldn't let me write. "Writing is an obsession for you", I told myself, "be careful". Today, which is a random day, like any other, I am finally able to give space to another voice, saying: "Give these worries into divinity. Let higher power exist where perfectionism resides."I am scared to write about my experience in CoDA so far, because perfectionism demands that I have a sensible story to tell. Something that inspires others. If I cannot be sure that I am being inspiring and helpful for others, I need to just shut up. That is a belief that I carried with me most of my life. It is still following me, running after me, with its little feet, yelling: "Wait! Danger!". And if I turn around and look at it, I realize that it is actually just extremely scared. That it needs to be picked up, to be held. That it desperately needs my compassion. That little, young whirl of chaos, called perfectionism - it’s been helping me to survive all these years. I am here because of it. Long live the paradox.To find compassion for my perfectionism, when that perfectionism seems to be responsible for all my addictions and compulsions, is an ongoing journey. And I feel it is being dramatically bettered through my CoDA journey, specifically through sharing in meetings. It took me forever to start speaking there. Paradoxically so, my profession played in talking a lot, but to share about myself had been impossible. In the meetings, there is no possibility to craft beautiful language, give thought through arguments or to play a part that has constructed credibility and is being presented by a well-trained voice in front of a specific audience. In the meetings, there are people sharing vulnerably, imperfectly and rawly about their deepest issues, fears and memories. They are so scared to share, and they do it anyway. They are some of the most courageous people I have ever encountered in my life. And they didn't demand anything of me. They didn't ask me to perform. They were just there, week after week, struggling themselves, daring to celebrate their recoveries, daring to take space, giving space, holding it for one another and being held by something altogether, that I couldn't quite put my finger on. All this and my deep desperation and longing for a different life, let me relax into listening so much that I was finally able to start speaking. My heart jumped out of every edge of my body, but I said two or three sentences. My head had no recalling of it right after. But I had shared. About myself, being just me. Week after week my shares grew in length, my heart rate normalized. I can feel parts of my body now, when I share. I sometimes, just for a few seconds, dare to open my eyes and take in the room while sharing. Many parts within me know now: I have all the time. It is ok to be what I am right now, in this moment and still be allowed to speak. I have trust now that CoDA is my crucial tool to learn to speak my truth fully, to become able to say all that I couldn't for all these years. As real as my struggles remain to be, I see the miraculous change happening in front of my eyes, in real time and mostly, within my body, as she is showing my consciousness how alive she has been all along.Claudia R. 06.10.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 07/29/25

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 13:04:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Shelter from the StormGod, give me shelter from the storm of fear, confusion, and doubt. I too often panic over some real or perceived threat to my 23-year-old daughter.A violent storm might be a useful metaphor to describe the experience. As the storm approaches, I am learning about my daughter's plan, whether it's taking the New York subway or driving to a downtown dance club late at night.  I feel a slow shift from friendly inquiry to more aggressive interrogation.  From pleasant calm weather in my mind, to a whirlwind of fear. I’m angry and afraid as the situation triggers my hypervigilant codependent pattern.God, give me shelter from the storm.I'm completely in the storm, stuck outside in the pouring rain, getting soaked to the bone. And the wind is blowing so hard that the trees are swaying dangerously and branches are flying across my path. Despair is beckoning, but I am powerless to stop this storm. I have no umbrella and in this tempest of emotion it would be of no use anyway. I head for a tiny overhang, inviting me to safety.God, give me shelter from the storm.My Higher Power, CoDA connections, and the 12 Steps start to kick in. I can think! I calmly ask my precious daughter where she is going. I tell her that I want her to live free, but I'd appreciate it if she kept us informed.  Just in case.She resists and is irritated that I would ask.  “I'm not a little girl anymore,” she complains. Her attitude triggers my codependency again. It's like I'm venturing back out into the storm. But before I arrive at the shelter of my house, I feel a desire to lash out in fear.I just can’t take it.  The idea of losing her or of unspeakable horrors. Or her being rejected and it sending her into a tailspin of melancholy, depression, self-harm, and even schizophrenia (it runs in the family).  I want to fiiiiixxxxxx it!!!! But I see my open garage door, a shelter from the storm. It is only steps away where I know warm towels and a hot shower await me.  The storm has passed.  My sanity has been restored.Jim H.  04.01.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 07/22/25

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 14:12:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Bright IdeasCodependents often attempt to convince others what to think, do or feel. -- Control PatternsIt’s also no longer about believing I know better than others what a Higher Power might look like.  -- Issues with the God word, P. 84I tend to fall in love with my “bright ideas,” my ways of understanding why people do what they do, for example. They really are pretty darn good - offering explanations that free me from blaming and lead me toward compassion. I like that. That applies to the God word in CoDA. It took me decades to finally figure out that it could mean the deep truth within me - the one that can give me guidance at every moment on how to live my life fully and honestly. My Higher Self. I capitalize because that is my way of honoring what I, and I believe everyone, has been blessed with. This is definitely a “bright idea” worth my love.  But it is MY idea - it is only for me. As I have read the dizzying array of ways other CoDA members have dealt with the issue of the God word, I reflect on my tendency in conversation to launch into all the reasons I see things the way I do. I try to sell others on the brilliance of my “bright ideas.” What a blessing there are others in the program, such as the member who wrote the quote above, who, oh so gently, reveal to me my codependent behavior. What is needed of me is not spouting it out to others but relishing, with deep gratitude, my ways of thinking and the serenity they produce in me. John R. 01/23/2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 07/15/25

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Letting Go of a Toxic FriendSometimes I have to let go of someone—not because they’re a bad person, but because I can’t stop myself from letting them activate my codependent triggers.In my past, I had a friend I’d known for over twenty years. There was a long history of shared experiences, trust, and closeness—or at least, what I thought was closeness. I had asked her twice if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She said no both times, and I respected that. I didn’t pressure her, and I wouldn’t have asked a second time except that her behavior confused me. Whenever we went somewhere, she treated me like a boyfriend—but I was the only one paying. Always.After a particularly expensive outing, I worked up the courage to ask again if there was any possibility of a romantic relationship. When she declined, I told her I wanted to be treated like any other friend going forward: we’d pay our own way for trips and activities. She agreed. But when it came time to follow through, things changed. She stopped wanting to do anything that cost money—even though she was a half-a-millionaire. Her idea of a meal out became lunch at soup kitchens. If we did go somewhere nice, I ended up paying anyway. Once, I didn’t order anything just to avoid footing the bill again. Somehow, she still managed to manipulate me into paying for her sandwich.The breaking point came during a weekend retreat that I paid for—again—for her and two of her friends. During the retreat, I felt emotionally abandoned. She took my car and disappeared for hours to go garage sale shopping. On the drive home, one of her friends and I had a conflict. My long-time friend ignored me and rushed to console the other person, as if I didn’t even exist. Something inside me snapped.It wasn’t just that weekend. I suddenly saw the past twenty years in a different light. All the moments of giving, of rescuing, of being the reliable one. I felt used, abandoned, and emotionally invisible.After sitting with that clarity, I made a difficult but necessary decision: I ended the relationship. Looking back, I recognize that I had tremendous difficulty setting and enforcing healthy boundaries with this particular person. I don’t know why she had that power over me. And the truth is—I stopped trying to figure it out. I realized something much more important:  How I feel about myself in a relationship is far more important than how I feel about the other person—or how they feel about me.That realization was a turning point. Yes, I had a problem with boundaries in that relationship. But I also learned something essential:  It’s okay to avoid people who consistently trigger my need to set and enforce boundaries I struggle to hold. That’s not a failure—it’s self-respect.As the CoDA literature says, “We can develop and maintain healthy relationships, first with ourselves and then with others.” That means prioritizing my own peace and safety. It means recognizing when a dynamic repeatedly draws me into resentment, obligation, or silent suffering—and choosing to step away.Another quote from CoDA reminds me: “I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior. I have choices and can take responsibility for my own well-being.”  CoDA teaches me that I am responsible for my own well-being. Sometimes, that means walking away from people I care about. It doesn’t mean I hate them or that they’re terrible. It means I choose peace over confusion. I choose integrity over enabling. I choose me.And as CoDA affirms, “I am a precious and worthy human being. I deserve love, respect, and to be treated with dignity.”Byrle S. 05.16.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 07/08/25

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Today, I Will Start the Journey AgainI woke up this morning, or was it the other day? I ask because this has come to me in bits and pieces as things usually do when your higher power is trying to show you something you don't really want to see. And I realized what has been the real problem blocking me from having peace and joy in my life. But, before we get to that, let me explain.I have been merely existing, surviving my life, just like I did years ago. But, not even realizing it. You see, I went to my first 12 Step meeting twenty years ago (Wow, I must really have it going on). I read the literature, everything I could get my hands on; I went to meetings, group therapy, and counseling. But here I am, twenty years later, in another unhealthy relationship, with a practicing alcoholic. Just one of several I have been in over the past five years. Kidding myself, that somehow, I am not letting this get to me like it used to. Yes, I have been dealing with things differently. Not better, just differently.Somewhere along the way, I became overly confident and complacent. I forgot where I came from. I went back to college at the age of 32. I felt good about myself. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could be a success. I moved to a new town, new people, a new life. And I never bothered to get in touch with people from the program, go to meetings, or keep in touch with old friends.The thing that my higher power has shown me is that shame, guilt and pride have reared their ugly heads. I have avoided making contact now at my hour of need because I felt like I should have known better. That somehow, I should have been above having an emotional relapse. How can I call on God for His help when things are bad after not leaning on Him when things were going well?The answer is simple, as most universal truths are. Let it go, humble myself and start with one small step. I left Him, he never left me.Today, I choose to let go of that shame and guilt, and yes, that false pride. I choose to once again open my heart and my mind to my higher power. I choose to start the journey once again. I choose to come home where I belong.Carol C.Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 07/01/25

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Sitting in DarknessThe abandonment, neglect and abuse from my childhood normalized the relationship patterns that stemmed from that oppression. I sat in the dark wondering how to extricate myself into the light. Constantly clawing for any substance or process to relieve me from pain and suffering.The 12 Steps of CoDA, the fellowship, outside help, a sponsor, service, and diligent effort sent everlasting stability and hope for a different today.My life has been transformed by a power greater than myself not without struggle, resistance, pain, and the ability to be in the moment, the most precious gift.I now cherish me, the golden gift to myself. I’m no longer afraid to touch the bottom of the ocean of my soul, reach for the infinite sky of light of my being, face reality, change my thinking, and grow into the woman I’m intended to be.Free at last. Cynthia W. 05.27.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 06/24/25

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I Learn to Trust MyselfDear Fellows, My name is Sarah. I am an alcoholic. I am also a chocoholic, a controlaholic, an obsessaholic, a shopaholic, and lots of other little "holics" too! My “isms” remain with me even after 11 years in AA. I had a nodding acquaintance with "this codependency stuff" but dismissed it as yet another issue I wanted to avoid. After all, I was told to KEEP IT SIMPLE!As the years rolled in, I realized that my codependent behavior was in practically everything I stood for. My mind bargained and muddled with every situation from buying a pint of milk to organizing a family Christmas. I realized that I was incapable of seeing things for just what they were, a necessary pint of milk or a family gathering. I’d ask the kids how much milk they thought they would drink over the weekend, did they prefer skim or whole, and then I’d go off and buy almond milk, which no one but me likes. I needed to attach chains and ropes to everything in my life to stop me from sliding off the edge; I was evading taking responsibility by seeking completely inappropriate permission before doing anything. Needless to say, I drove my family insane and ended up separated.In the past five years of separation, I have had to make decisions all by myself. Very scary for someone who couldn’t buy milk without my kids’ validation! I have had to organize my Christmas with the kids, alone, and make it work without letting self-pity and remorse ruin the season and without beating the goodness out of the day with indecision over what to cook. I have learned that a decision is a decision and that there are no "right" ones. The decision I choose to make IS the right one, and life will run its course accordingly. God is in charge, so long as I listen to reason and let my inner voice guide me, all will be well. I have learnt to trust myself. To stop looking for other people to validate everything I do. CO-dependent. ‘Co’ means join, and I choose to be no longer joined to people, places and things when I have to make a decision. I am IN-dependent! It’s very scary at first and I do lapse into old codependent thinking, but I am getting better at recognizing it and not acting on it.And you know what? I have a job now, I have a contented life, my children CHOOSE to be with me, and I feel empowered. I can be lonely, but I don’t have to run to someone, or to chocolate or shopping to make me feel better—I know now that all these behaviors come with a price: A MASSIVE EMOTIONAL HANGOVER!! (Not to mention weight gain and financial loss!)Recognizing my codependency on my ex-husband and how corrosive my codependent behavior was, has been the key to freedom in so many ways. Today, if I need to know something, I can ask someone. But I check first to see if it’s just attention seeking or controlling. And then I smile………Sarah L 5/30/2017Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 06/17/25

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">My Step Four JourneyToday, I celebrate my third CoDA Birthday! Coincidentally, I’m also discussing Step 4 with my sponsee and working through the 40 questions with another fellow traveler. We’ve reached question 4, which focuses on the moral inventory.Hearing my sponsee’s reflections has made me revisit my own Step 4 journey — and all the steps and traditions I’ve worked through since. I’m filled with gratitude for CoDA. Step 4 was a turning point in my recovery. I remember dreading it, convinced that facing my inventory would drown me in self-shame. But the opposite happened. It revealed why I behaved the way I did and gave me tools to change those patterns with healthier alternatives. My Step 4 journey took months. At one point during that step, someone suggested I rate each defect on a scale from 1 to 10, reflecting how much it impacted my relationships and daily life. Reflecting on that chart today offers me powerful insight — it’s astonishing to see how far I’ve come and what work remains for me to do.Being detail oriented, I created my inventory in a spreadsheet. As mentioned, I had a column ranking my defects on a scale from 1-10. Today, I added a new column with updated scores showing how prominent each defect is in my life today. The results were eye-opening — encouraging and sobering.Every single defect score has decreased. Some are barely present at all. What a miracle! In Steps 5, 6, and 7, we share our inventory, admit our wrongs to another person and to our Higher Power, and ask for our shortcomings to be removed. I remember wondering how that would happen — gradually or suddenly, easily or painfully? After 55 years of reinforcing destructive habits, could I really change? Looking at my updated scores, I’m amazed, and the answer is YES, we can live in recovery and change. In fact, my top three defects are a fraction of what they were in my life before CoDA. Some defects were removed quickly, and others took time, but through it all I was on Higher Power’s timeline. Now, I feel less compelled to act out those old behaviors. Instead, I crave the actions that counter those impulses. The urge to react and control still appears, but more often it’s replaced — almost automatically — by a desire to use CoDA tools and choose a healthier path. That shift is a miracle. Seeing once-dominant compulsive behaviors now under control, feels like freedom.Interestingly, some behaviors from my original list — those I rated lower — still show up regularly. While they’ve lessened, they haven’t disappeared. They are still compulsive. That tells me I focused heavily on the most disruptive patterns and gave less attention to the subtler ones. Now, I feel renewed energy to revisit my moral inventory — this time putting those lower-ranked behaviors at the top. I’m ready to begin Steps 4–7 again. What a gift it is to know I can always revisit my inventory and continue growing.Reviewing my inventory reminds me how much progress I’ve made. When I hear the CoDA promises read aloud in meetings, I often cry tears of joy — so many of them have come true for me. Through service and guidance from my Higher Power, I was led back to this inventory today. It’s a reminder that I’m always on a journey of self-discovery and healing. There’s no better way to celebrate my CoDA Birthday than by looking ahead — toward the next layer to peel, the next opportunity to serve, and the next person I can share this message of hope with.It works if you work it — and you are worth it. So am I.—Michelle R. 05.05.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 06/10/25

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I WriteI write to feel better about myself. I write to know how I feel, and I write to be whole. I write because it is the music of my soul. I write because I get spiritually and mentally muddled when I don’t. I write to know my mind. I write to find my feelings because they can be so intense and foreign like ships in the night on a churning black sea with no moon. Writing down my feelings puts the moon back in the scene, spotlighting my pain and shame and calms the waves rocking my boat. Writing is the North star guiding me to the shores of CoDA reason, self-awareness, and healing.Alison M  09.16.2016 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #35 is online now!

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 16:11:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed “Boundaries”  <a href="https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-June-2025-Ed.-35.pdf" target="_blank">https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-June-2025-Ed.-35.pdf</a> MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. There is plenty of room for content in various media formats from our worldwide CoDA community. If you’d like to share your experience, strength and hope in a Meeting in Print, please see our submissions section here: <a href="https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/">https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/</a>  If you’d like to join the Co-NNections committee to help carry the message through Meeting in Print and/or Weekly Readings, please email <a class="external" href="mailto:connections@coda.org?subject=MIP%2032" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">connections@coda.org</a>.  To see more MiP issues, click the link: <a class="external" href="https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/</a> Gratefully,Your Meeting in Print subcommittee  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 06/03/25

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 12:54:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Becoming Friends with Uncertainty, Trusting ChangeI came into CoDA recently after experiencing a really hard time working through the grief of a breakup that had me, and still has me, crying every single day for many months. The experience felt like an emotional hellscape. As I sat with CoDA literature, the Twelve Steps, and attended meetings, I struggled with the “God language” throughout. I grew up with a definition of God within my family’s religious beliefs that didn’t serve me, and I had long let that definition go. Still, I wanted to give the Twelve Steps a real chance to work on me.  I then remembered an author’s definition of God that shifted my practice: God is Change. There is no definition of a Higher Power that could feel more accurate and real for me at this time. Change is the only constant. It had certainly done its work on me in the past when I struggled to remove myself from situations that didn’t serve me or didn’t align with my growth journey.  This understanding of a Higher Power also aligns with some of the spiritual practices I’ve been studying around becoming friends with uncertainty and not “grasping” to any one emotional experience, whether it's painful or pleasing. It pushes me to let go of control in a way that feels both empowering and vulnerable. I’ve heard the term “vulnerageous” being used to describe this feeling. Still, my practice continued to challenge me. As I let this understanding of a Higher Power work me, I found myself resisting and struggling to let go of the pain I was experiencing.  I realized that my grief was the last tether to the person I wanted to share my life with. I had never grieved a breakup, or anything else, this hard - it was tearing me to shreds.  Still, I stayed curious through the pain and trusted that my Higher Power, Change, was doing some work on me. And then it landed - my grasping at the grief was keeping me from seeing the work that Change was doing. I felt less alone when I realized that asking - “what might Change, my Higher Power, be making possible that I cannot yet see?” - was enough to feel like I was standing on some ground instead of flailing in turbulent waters through the grief.  I remembered that I had worked hard to feel again, after working through emotional numbness for almost 6 years throughout my sobriety journey with alcohol. I had finally been feeling, and feeling deeply, throughout my relationship with my ex and through the grief of that relationship being severed. Through the gift of feeling, Change is taking me through something that I know will result in a more deeply connected and wiser version of myself. The grief hasn’t vanished, but I’m moving through it with more trust, choice, clarity, self-compassion, and self-accountability. I can’t wait to meet this Changed self on the other side of this leg of my healing journey. Rosa GC 04.09.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 05/27/25

Tue, 27 May 2025 13:53:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I Can See ClearlyI have a peace now inside of me. I can see people for who they truly are. I'm repairing my relationships. I have seen my parents after 6 and a half years. I'm working through my recovery, and this has been one of my best years.Finally, I understand my husband, I understand both of our "patterns" and where they stem from. I know what I want and can see a bright future ahead. The support that I've received from the CoDA recovery program has changed my vision.I can truly see clearly now the rain has gone!Trish L. 04.02.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 05/20/25

Tue, 20 May 2025 14:19:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Today I Planted SeedsI don’t have much of a green thumb, but that’s neither here nor there. So nonchalantly, I placed dirt into pots, threw in my seeds, covered them with soil, watered them and placed them on my window sill.It wasn’t until later that night when I stopped to talk to my Higher Power that I realized what I had just done.You see I spent the first 28 years of my life hating my existence, cursing every breath that I took, and dreading every day that I had to struggle through. I have so many lasting mental and physical scars from all of the ways that I desperately tried to extinguish myself from existence.I was always fighting a losing battle against myself. something inside of me was so badly broken, so unfixably damaged. Something was wrong with me, but no one could see it, so no one knew how to fix it. How to fix ME.But today, I planted seeds.Because I know I’ll be here tomorrow to tend to them. I know I’ll have the energy, and the patience, and the compassion to nurture them. I know that no matter what happens today, tomorrow will be better. I have hope for a new day. I have hope for life.Today, I’m not longing for a way out. So today, I planted seeds.Heather H. 03.21.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 05/13/25

Tue, 13 May 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">A CoDA VictoryCoDA Promise 2: “I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.”My childhood was mostly a very good time for me.  My father was a doctor and my mother was a homemaker always there for me.  There’s no doubt there was plenty of dysfunction even then, but I was mostly a happy, playful, athletic kid.  That all changed in the 7th grade when Dad started to drink more and get violent.  That was when the trauma began.Today, I am still recovering from the effects of that trauma. I’m in CoDA because I recognize that drugs, alcohol, food, and sex cannot provide me a life of dignity.My main “qualifiers” for belonging in CoDA are first, my daughter’s deep depression from an emotionally abusive romantic rejection, her cutting behaviors (stopped 8 years ago), and suicidal ideation in her teenage years. Second, frustration about maintaining a healthy and loving marriage. And finally, periodic low self-esteem crashes at work.This share is about a recent “growth experience” with my daughter. About two weeks ago, she came home from a visit with friends but stayed in her car talking and crying for quite a while. She had parked within the complex in a parking stall not exactly close to our condo, and my wife and I were a little afraid for her safety, but more afraid for her mental health. Specifically, she has a boyfriend in New York, a long-distance relationship, which we know is problematic. My trauma reaction tends to be “OMG!  They’re going to break up and she’s going to descend into deep depression and become suicidal.” So, what should I do? My old self would tell her to come inside and when she refused, I’d get angry at her and use that anger to get her to do what I wanted so I could feel safe.  This time, I approached her car to find out what was going on. I asked her to come inside but she wanted the privacy of the car to continue hashing it out with her boyfriend. Here is when my “old self” could easily have blown it, but instead, I said okay, checked to make sure her surroundings were safe and went back inside. However, when about 20 minutes went by (which seemed like 5 hours), I “had” to go out again and see if she’d at least come inside or come closer to our house.  I could feel my blood pressure rising and my rage at her for “making” me so afraid.  Because of CoDA, I knew I had to be careful. So, I knocked on her window one more time, asked her if she was okay, and told her I loved her.  She reassured me that she was okay but needed the time and space to talk it through with her boyfriend. So, I finally surrendered, went back inside again and relaxed a little, asking God for faith in her judgment as an adult, 23-year-old woman.  She can take care of herself, God.  Help me get that.  After about another 30 minutes she came back inside and was okay. I hadn’t blown up and made matters worse even though I was experiencing panic and fear due to my learned hypervigilance. That was a CoDA victory for me!Jim H. 03.06.2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 05/06/25

Tue, 06 May 2025 13:55:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Letting GoI'm pretty sure I was codependent before I even drew my first breath...The year was 1976 and my mother had gotten pregnant with me in her senior year of high school, my parents married in July, and I was due to arrive late September early October. However, my birthday of the 26th of October always felt wrong, and I never knew why until I found out from my father that my mother would say to her belly, "Not today."My father was a happy drunk and my mother blamed me for her world. By 5 years of age I would be caring for my brother the way an adult would/should. Not knowing that years of these expectations would lead me to feel I had to "save" everyone and everything while painfully and slowly chipping away from anything I was meant to be. “No” was never in my vocabulary as there was a price to pay with my mother if you exerted any kind of authority, emotion or need.My overwhelming desire for her attention built a fear of rejection so ingrained that I believe I stopped breathing, and crying, and living for myself for decades… It took me a long time to accept the powerlessness over people, places and things and I'm relieved to say that after 48 years I'm letting go one day at a time with the help of CoDA and other 12 step programs.Letting go is freedom to grow. Thank God.Jessica 02.04.2025Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/29/25

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">CoDA Is Working!It’s been about 15 months now since I first attended my first CoDA meeting and I need to summarize here that it’s been, far and away, the most profound period of my life! My CoDA program has helped me to understand dozens of concepts about human behavior and relationships that have evaded me until now (and I’m 66 years old!).Even though I’m in the midst of a difficult divorce, I’m grateful for so many things and I’m continuing to gain strength and serenity in my life. It’s truly amazing how things have changed for me!I’m growing more confident, more sociable, more serene, more flexible, more accepting of people and situations, more compassionate and more hopeful that I’ll eventually be able to have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. I’m also growing less critical, less judgmental, less irritable, less anxious, less controlling and manipulating and less inclined to gossip.There’s still plenty of room for improvement, but I am fully conscious of the changes that have occurred. Many of my friends have commented that they’ve seen considerable progress in me over the past year and that I’ve inspired them to keep working on their own program. I am truly grateful for all of this!Jack L. (2012) Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/22/25

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">An Ongoing JourneyMy name is Francine, and I am a grateful recovering codependent.I came into the rooms of Co-Dependents Anonymous in 2005, after I found out my ex-husband had been having a 9-month long affair. He met her in AA. I never thought something could happen like that with him being sober and us having three children together (the youngest being 5 years old).Raised in a family of alcoholic/addicts, parents that fought all the time, and what seemed like constant household conflict, I became a people pleaser very young. If I could make someone happy by helping them, making them laugh or anything else I would do it. I learned at a young age to sacrifice myself for others' comfort.After losing my parents in a three-year period and then that affair, I knew something had to change. I began going to meetings, got a sponsor and then worked the Steps. The Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous healed me. Not completely but I did feel like a different person when I completed them. I felt so much love for myself. I had more of an understanding of others’ behavior. Most importantly, I began to learn how to speak with others in a way that was safe for me and respectful of them.Now, this is an ongoing journey, and I don’t always get it right, but life is so much better with this program as my foundation.I still have my sponsor after 20 years. We still have our bi-monthly meetings, but now we’re more co-sponsors and support one another. She’s 85 years old and one of my greatest gifts from recovery.I remember “one day at a time” “be gentle with myself” and when feeling powerless I recite the Serenity Prayer. I journal, and I have added other tools such as meditation, long walks, reading/listening to spiritual literature and videos, sharing with people I’m safe with and of course attending CoDA meetings. I no longer feel alone.I am Precious & Free.Francine 02.19.2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/15/25

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Twelve Steps in 12 SecondsMy sponsor asked me how my recovery was going and how service has helped me with triggers and situations that I am powerless over. My response was, when I first came to CoDA, I knew I was an angry, resentful person that wanted the world to hear my voice. Time after time I was dismissed and forsaken. I was hurtful to others, but especially myself. I could hear my “CoDA Crazies” screaming in my head all the hurtful things that held me hostage from being the loving, caring, respectful person I truly wanted to be. My biggest mistake was that I believed all those hurtful hateful words. With the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous I started to believe in myself and could hear the words and feelings of my Creator. I learned to feel through my feelings of hate, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and no forgiveness.Once I learned that the recovery and serenity that I was desperately looking for was on the other side of the misery, I listened to that caring, loving voice that I could hear and feel of my Creator. I learned to let go of grudges and resentments. I had tightly gripped onto those hateful feelings thinking that the memory of that hurt would save me from making that mistake again.When I worked the Twelve Steps and embraced the Twelve Traditions then absorbed the Twelve Service Concepts is when I really learned that I will be in this program for life. CoDA is the medicine for my grief and misery. Only when I take my medication and work my program and embrace my recovery will I be of service to others that still suffer. It is my honour to work with others and share what my Creator has blessed me with, a recovery that I am so grateful for.I wrote the Twelve Steps in 12 Seconds to remind me that my CoDA medicine works when I work my recovery. The hurt and grief I once carried for months or years now fades in twelve seconds. I repeat this prayer as fast and as many times, while my CoDA Crazies try to take over. I fight them off with the help of my Creator and the tools of my recovery.Twelve Steps in 12 Seconds:Deep breath! I am powerless and in chaos, my Creator is with me. Let go and let Creator guide me through this REACTION of triggers that only helped me survive. Be positive, be quiet and let loving new morales serve me with humility. Knowledge of what I will accept and the courage I need to move forward. I am willing to realize and promptly be accountable for the character defects and reactions that hurt others. Dearest Creator, help me to follow your guidance and pass these tools of recovery and serenity to others that still suffer.AMENDedicated to Recovery with Service Jocelyn K. 02.03.2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/08/25

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 16:32:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Taking Off the MaskMy life started to change drastically once I started on my CoDA journey over 6 years ago. I was 53 years old and was still struggling letting go of a very unhealthy relationship a year prior. My friends suggested a book to read that introduced me to CoDA. I immediately found a home group and listened like my life and sanity depended on it. Because it did. We went out to fellowship after the meeting and that helped me to get one on one help until I found a sponsor to take me through the steps.My eyes were wide open, and I could no longer be in denial about how unhealthy ALL of my relationships were: my family, my son, my friends, my job, and especially all my romantic relationships. I started to see that most of my relationships were not 'real' because I wore a mask in each one. Trying to be who I thought they wanted me to be. Because I was so afraid of not being accepted, of being abandoned. And worst of all, not being loved.My whole character was built on SHAME. I was ashamed to be me. I was taught as a very young child that who I was was not enough. Was not okay. That I needed to be ‘something’ other than who I was to get love and acceptance. I kept morphing into something else because I never got the nurturing that I needed. I never found the right thing. I was exhausted.Coming to CoDA and working on learning how to be authentic and be the real me was the most important and fulfilling journey of my life. It's been fun and it's been hard, and it's been exciting and it's been challenging. What has made it all possible is the CoDA meetings, the Fellowship, my new friends in CoDA who like me just as I am. And most importantly, the boundaries that I set with all the other people in my life. Especially my family. There is so much opportunity for growth and change and freedom and joy in this program. Just stay.Michelle B. San Diego, CA 01.29.2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 04/01/25

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Newcomer’s Story74 years into life, I think I may have found my tribe in CoDA. In the past few months several people I cared about deeply have hurt my feelings profoundly. I have grief as if they had died. But I realized that I, myself, am the common denominator in these scenarios. I simply have not protected my heart. For example, I moved into physical intimacy far too quickly. At the root of it seems to be a deep shame about myself and anger towards myself that stems from an adverse childhood. I'm quite sophisticated about psychology and relationships so it was easy to connect the dots and realize that in CoDA I could find lots of people with whom I share these traits and behaviors. I'm still in crisis but it seems clear that with the collective wisdom of this Fellowship - including the literature - I have a road map out of Hell to a life I can be reasonably comfortable with.Anna N01.29.2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/25/25

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 22:32:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">My First CoDA MeetingI went to my first CoDA meeting about 25 years ago in NYC. They had free sheets that they passed around at the end of some meetings (that’s how information was shared…before quick-loading websites were common!)And it included statements I had never heard before (ever!)…a whole list of them…such as: “I’m not happy and content, unless others are happy with me.” “My feelings about myself are directly connected to having other’s approval.” A whole bunch of traits listed…and I identified with all of them!I was familiar with other 12-step programs, and I did appreciate how it connected me back to a Higher Power of my understanding, but sometimes my traumatized brain would see the 4th Step and be transported back to my religious upbringing and feel like I was being led to confession! I felt like I didn’t need to do a “beat up” job on myself!How CoDA handles the 4th Step inventory seems (to me!) very gentle. I found it’s less about making a list of “harm we had caused” and it places an emphasis on making amends to yourself. When I heard that, I thought “I’m in!”I’m so much better in understanding that I don’t have to be a doormat to abusive treatment, nor do I have to explode with dysfunctional outbursts (the only 2 options I saw shown to me) but I now had tools that would show me how to assert myself in a mature, kind way, allowing me to realize who I am…my authentic, less-than-perfect self! I met so many happy, mature, put-together people in NYC, and I thought “What’s their secret?Why do they seem genuinely happy and ‘free’ inside?” And most were going to therapy (which was not common back then). And some were going to CoDA (often both!).I used to think I was a shy person, but I think I just absorbed so much family trauma that I had almost no self-esteem left. I felt myself running to NYC to feel alive. I wanted to live an authentic life, connected to my Higher Power with a life full of purpose.Also realizing that I can love and support people in my life…WITHOUT rescuing them! This was so big for me! I can love people, really listen to what they are going through, and not feel that I somehow must fix them. Their struggle is their journey. Mine is mine. But we can walk together through this thing called life!One more bonus: I can be genuinely happy for others! Their joy is my joy! (That never happened before! Jealousy/insecurity has been replaced by that joy!) Not all the time - I’m not perfect!!!!) but mostly. Expanded love and joy…feels better than jealousy.The recovery community has grown so much since then and has trickled down into mainstream society. I need it…more than ever these days!D.C. 01/15/2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/18/25

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I’m HomeI was visiting my parents one day and my sister was there.  As she left, she commented “everyone in the world should be in a 12-step program” (she’s in AA).   I thought “what kind of a 12-step program would I join?   So, I called my daughter (who’s in NA).  She said (immediately without taking a breath) “Emotions Anonymous”.   Okay, that kinda makes sense.  The next day I went to my first EA meeting.  And while it was very interesting, it wasn’t exactly for me.  During that meeting someone said to me in a chat “you belong in CoDA”.   I truly wish I knew who that was.  The next day I went to my first CoDA meeting and when the Traits and Characteristics were read, I thought “I’m home”.  That was a group in Nova Scotia, Canada that I ended up joining online and it became my home group and remains my home group to this day. I live in Ontario, Canada, over 1700 kilometers away.   When I was finally able to get to Nova Scotia to attend my first in person meeting, receive my 2-year medallion and meet my people, it was magic.  I look forward to going back and seeing them again.  Meeting them and getting hugs actually left me euphoric.  It was amazing.I will be forever grateful to my sister and my daughter who pushed me in this direction.Liz S. October, 2024   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/11/25

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 08:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Valentine’s Day BluesAttending my first Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) meeting was both nerve-wracking and empowering. I had reached a point where I realized I couldn’t keep sacrificing my emotional well-being for the sake of toxic relationships that drained me. As I sat among strangers sharing their journeys, I felt an unfamiliar sense of hope—a glimpse of the spiritual growth I had been craving.After the meeting, I prayed for a sign from the universe, asking for clarity about my ex-boyfriend and the strength not to fall back into the chaos of our relationship. For the first few days after breaking things off with him, I felt strong. But as Valentine’s Day approached, loneliness crept in, and I caved. I invited him over for dinner, made my famous lasagna, and set the table with meticulous care. A part of me hoped this would rekindle something meaningful.But as I served him a steaming plate of lasagna, his phone rang. It was another woman calling him. My stomach sank, and my hands trembled as humiliation washed over me. I had asked for a sign, and the universe delivered it unmistakably. Tears streamed down my face as I asked him to leave—a decision I never would have made just days earlier.In the past, I would have ignored the glaring red flag, pushed my feelings aside, and continued with the evening, pretending everything was fine. But this time, something shifted. Attending CoDA helped me see that I deserved better, that I was worthy of love and respect—not just from others, but from myself.That moment was heartbreaking, but it was also liberating. It solidified my commitment to healing, to setting boundaries, and to developing a spirituality that strengthens me. The sign I had prayed for wasn’t what I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed.Hilda F. 01/14/2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #34 is online now!

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 23:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed “It is Possible to Mend” <a href="https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/MiP-March-2025-Ed.-34.pdf">https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/MiP-March-2025-Ed.-34.pdf</a> MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. There is plenty of room for content in various media formats from our worldwide CoDA community. If you’d like to share your experience, strength and hope in a Meeting in Print, please see our submissions section here: <a href="https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/">https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/</a>  If you’d like to join the Co-NNections committee to help carry the message through Meeting in Print and/or Weekly Readings, please email <a class="external" href="mailto:connections@coda.org?subject=MIP%2032" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">connections@coda.org</a>.  To see more MiP issues, click the link: <a class="external" href="https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/</a> Gratefully,Your Meeting in Print subcommittee  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 03/04/25

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 22:45:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Healthy BehavioursI joined CoDA over a year ago, though I am not sure of the exact date. I was already in another 12-step programme, I had a firm and loving relationship with a higher power, and I had support, and that had given me some recovery. That recovery allowed me to see that I had problems that came from my dysfunctional childhood and were affecting my relationships.The programme I was in was helping with those issues to an extent, and I was not sure that I could manage to work two programmes together. So, I flirted with CoDA at first, reading bits of the literature, attending an odd meeting, and it wasn't until I realised that more and more of my time was spent trying to work out how to deal with a particularly distressing relationship that I began to work CoDA in earnest.I cannot imagine not having CoDA in my life now, I have gained so much recovery. The Recovery Patterns of Codependence document has been such a useful tool, showing me what healthy behaviour looks like. I know what to aim for now! I am currently working the Steps and I am planning a big change to my life, which would not have been possible without what I have learned from CoDA, because now I know how to deal with fear.Mandy T. 01/13/2025 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/25/25

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Loving MyselfToday is a new day. I wake up and am thankful for my life and my family. I know the moments of challenge will come throughout the day and I pray and welcome the divine love. When the moments do come, I will take a breath, I will touch my heart and remind myself that I know myself, I am myself, I love myself and god loves me. The moments will pass, and I will feel all that comes with them.  I treasure myself, my feelings and the little girl inside.Thank you, CoDA, and my CoDA community. We walk together to find a new freedom.Anja 01/08/2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/18/25

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 09:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Recovery Is Work, but Worth ItMy life had absolutely become unmanageable.  I was almost 300 pounds (5' 4") and I had an affair that destroyed two marriages.  Of this I am not proud, but it is important to my story.I was in therapy and my therapist introduced me to CoDA and recommended I try a meeting.  That was January 2023.I am now 2 years into the program and still working through Step 4, but I have come a LONG way.  I learned what the patterns of codependency are.  I saw how I am so very compliant, realized I had low self-esteem, and that I liked to control people, though I did not realize that was something I was doing.CoDA has helped the most in the way of teaching me terminology.  My favorite lesson was on "weasel words" where I say "maybe tomorrow" when I really don't want to do something at all.  I laughed at how often I say one thing but really want to say something else entirely.I have been dating someone for 6 months now and recently they turned very verbally abusive.  They are an alcoholic but do not realize it and I wanted to love them through it.  I wanted to help.  But when I told a friend in CoDA what this person said to me, my friend said, "that is abusive".  My immediate response was defensiveness and telling how great my partner is when sober.My friend asked me: (1) Abby, do you LIKE being treated that way? And (2) Abby, if a FRIEND, not a partner, said any of that to you, would you accept it?My response was absolutely not!  You see I am codependent in my romantic relationships, but I am good at setting and holding boundaries with my friends.  I have a strong group of people who build me up and I build them up.Through CoDA, I now seek HEALTHY and LOVING relationships - especially in romance.  I was able to block this person (not ghost) in a healthy manner that protected my health and well-being. Recovery is work, it is hard, but I am so grateful for this program that provides me the tools to enable healthy & loving relationships in my life.Abby 01/06/2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/11/25

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 14:23:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">My AwakeningBeing in an unhealthy relationship for 20 years was taking a toll on me. I was feeling constantly overwhelmed and exhausted, hopeless and helpless.  What pained me most about my life was living "beneath the bricks"… Knowing that my real self was buried under there. Somewhere deep down… There was so much I needed to accomplish, so much I was capable of creating, doing, spreading. Yet, it sat beneath the cocoon, hibernating… Waiting for the layers of hardened molten to chip away. One chisel at a time… And then came CoDA. At first, I was skeptical, yet something was awakening inside. I cried at my first few meetings feeling so desperate and hopeless. Slowly, slowly things began to shift. I started feeling clearer, brighter, and more connected to God. I worked and worked for over a year, speaking to my sponsor, going to meetings, praying… and I am so grateful to say I’m seeing things shifting. I have more energy and I’m taking responsibility for my life with the help of God. And as I continue to trust the process, I tell myself, "Patience my dear, patience." Dina K.  06/06/2016   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 02/04/25

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 13:11:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Recovery Saved My Life Last Halloween afternoon, I had a heart attack at work. I was unsure about calling the paramedics because my codependency told me to tough it out in silence and to not "make a big deal" about it. I had been in CoDA for nearly nine years and in that moment I applied a little bit of recovery and asked myself what I would tell a friend. That is when I decided to reach out. A couple months earlier, the entire staff had taken a first-aid class together, and in telling my coworker about what I was experiencing, I was able to hear how serious my symptoms really were. She held my hand, prayed with me, and encouraged me to get emergency help and in that moment, that was exactly the kind of support I needed. Because I stepped out of isolation just for a moment, I am still here today.Gratefully,Caryn T.01/03/2025   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/28/25

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 03:15:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Define CodependencyIn August of ’98 I embarked on a personal quest to operationally define codependency in 25 words or less. This is what I came up with. As always, take the best and leave the rest.First of all, I figured that, if it is important to abstain from “codependent behavior” then I needed to know exactly what I was supposed to abstain from, and I needed it short, to the point, and easy to remember and apply. In 1990 I was diagnosed as codependent by a therapist who informed me that codependency is an obsessive-compulsive disorder, so I started with that premise.As I understand it, an obsession is an unwanted, unpleasant thought. A compulsion is an act designed to get rid of that unwanted, unpleasant thought. The compulsion works for a while, but then the obsession comes back and the whole thing starts over again. “Doing the same thing expecting different results.” “If only they were different then I would be happy.” Yeah, that sounds like the tune.So, I figure codependency has two parts: A persistent attention to what’s wrong with somebody else’s thoughts, feelings, or actions, combined with repeated attempts to influence somebody else’s thoughts, feelings, or actions. No surprise that this manifests in strained relationships.I can use this definition 24 hours at a time. I can quit trying to influence others by overt or covert means. This I can abstain from while I work on my program, and I can share it with those I sponsor. This definition also helps me apply AA wisdom to my issues, which I find helpful. In AA they can say "Don’t drink and get to a meeting." Now in CoDA I can say “Don’t try to influence anybody else and get to a meeting." Just like the alcoholic has to abstain from alcohol, but the desire for alcohol is only lifted through working the Steps, so too do I have to abstain from attempting to influence or change other people. Period. The desire to change them will be lifted as I work the Steps.CoDA is for people who realize that they are in a strained relationship and that what they are doing isn’t working. CoDA is for people who want to stop attempting to influence or control how someone else acts, thinks or feels.CoDA is not for people who want to make someone else "understand." It is not for people who want to "manage" the relationship better. It is for people who want to quit altogether the incessant anxiety, worry, and futile attempts to influence or change another person.That doesn’t mean I must stop caring or that I must tolerate abuse. I can ask for what I want, but if someone does not give me what I want, I seek it elsewhere. I can voice my thoughts and feelings, but if someone doesn’t understand or care, I drop it and move on. I don’t ignore the needs of others, but I consider my own needs first and I try always to act in my own best interest.Allison   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/21/25

Wed, 22 Jan 2025 18:58:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Take What You Like and Leave the RestI just used the slogan, ‘Take what you like and leave the rest,’ two days ago after sharing some feelings with my sponsor and getting her feedback. At first, I thought she was off-base because her share wasn't my norm, but then Opportunity came, and I started to look at the gift She offered through my sponsor's share. The more I desire growth towards serenity, and the more I slow down in life, the more I can see gifts of examples for healthy change being role modeled.I can take what I like or leave it, but if the norm has kept me at status quo, then I continue to get what I have. But there may be something new, more of what I'm desiring in my life if I'm willing to consider.Thank you, Bigger Better Power, for your gentle guidance in my life for a better version of myself through the use of the CoDA program suggestions.Gratitude for the GrowthI am incredibly grateful for the CoDA program and the amazing people who have helped me on this journey. With their support, I’ve been able to uncover patterns in my behavior and reactions, and more importantly, I’ve learned how to address them. I’ve learned that triggers are not the enemy. Instead, they are invitations to heal, grow, and ultimately become the best version of myself.When I’m struggling with my own triggers, I know that I’m not alone. The path to healing can be difficult, but it’s also deeply rewarding. My triggers don’t define me — they guide me toward the transformation I desire.Stephanie T.12/14/2024 Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/14/25

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 03:22:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Learning Boundaries I walked into the rooms feeling tired of being tired. Thinking I have spent all I could to have a good life and it’s just not so.I was aware the man I was dating for eight years, on and off, was a drug to me and was killing me more than giving me any high. I wanted out but had no idea how or if I had the energy to do it. I tried before, only to return to the poison he gave me. I lived off being the victim. I can look back now knowing I enjoyed sharing my sorry life with others because it gave me validation. I lived off the “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” statements or any pity I could get. I had no idea how addicted I was to that. I was desperate to be loved, I was willing to get it anywhere I could, in any way I could.CoDA gave me the strength to look at myself. I blamed the world and others but never saw my part in it. Never saw how I loved what I claimed I hated so badly. No wonder it took me years to finally leave a toxic relationship. I loved misery and really had no clue how to live without it. Healthy relationships were foreign to me and CoDA helped me understand what healthy was. That it started within me. That I needed to love me wholeheartedly and with so much love and compassion. It needed to start with me.I no longer need validation in any form. I might get it but I’m not searching for it nor desiring it. I have healthy boundaries and define healthy within myself and my relationships with others. I had to learn what healthy is and it had to start with looking within myself.  Marsha (2018) Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

Wanted: CoDA Recovery Stories

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 23:09:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header"><h2>Wanted: CoDA Recovery Stories</h2>Everybody in CoDA has a recovery story to tell. What’s yours?Sharing your experience, strength and hope may help thousands of codependents still suffering. You don’t need to be a professional writer. If you want help getting your thoughts on paper, let us know. Once a story is written and approved, our editors clean up spelling, grammar and punctuation.It’s important that stories are written using “I” statements that stay in alignment with the principles of Co-Dependents Anonymous. Within those parameters, you may write about any aspect of your CoDA recovery journey.Unsure where to start? Here are some writing prompts.For newcomers - 6 months in CoDA:<ul><li>How did you find CoDA and what keeps you coming back?</li><li>Which of the Twelve Promises are you most looking forward to coming true?</li><li>If you have a sponsor or study group to work the Twelve Steps, how did you find them?</li></ul>For 6 months - 5 years in CoDA:<ul><li>What was life like before? What is life like now? How has CoDA changed things?</li><li>How do you work the CoDA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions?</li><li>What are your go-to tools of recovery? What tool challenges you the most?</li></ul>For 5 years or more in CoDA:<ul><li>How has your recovery changed over the years?</li><li>What challenges do you still face? How do you apply the principles to all your affairs?</li><li>How do you carry the message to the still-suffering codependent?</li></ul>Submit your recovery story (200-2000 words) or poetry, via email to connections@coda.org or visit https://coda.org/submit-your-story/. Please include: a title, a signature, and a valid email address for direct correspondence about your submission.We’re always looking for original artwork and images to include in Meeting in Print. Please contact mip@coda.org for additional details and parameters.In Service, The CoDA Co-NNections Committee (Weekly Reading and Meeting in Print) </header>You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 01/07/25

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 14:04:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Affirming a New Way <div class="WACEditing EditMode EditingSurfaceBody FireFox WACViewPanel_DisableLegacyKeyCodeAndCharCode usehover" contenteditable="false" id="WACViewPanel_ClipboardElement" spellcheck="false" style="overflow: hidden; visibility: visible; direction: ltr;" tabindex="0"><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{198}" paraid="2016333206" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Here are some affirmations and words of wisdom shared by one of our subscribers.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{204}" paraid="1714924543" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif;"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{208}" paraid="1706446599" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">I am enough. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{214}" paraid="190897151" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">I have enough.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{224}" paraid="1178127374" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">I am what I eat. Think. Believe.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{230}" paraid="1851331762" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">I wouldn't be here if God didn't want me here.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{244}" paraid="581477858" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">I am recovering.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{07d084e5-87a4-4625-b473-f0d26559e29b}{250}" paraid="302871652" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Thanks, God.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{1}" paraid="1385687747" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Enjoy the journey. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{7}" paraid="629962843" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Even if it feels overwhelming.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{17}" paraid="986671693" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">"If" is a huge two letter word. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{23}" paraid="2048906625" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Deliver us from ego.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{29}" paraid="1117542848" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">CoDA is a spiritual program.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{35}" paraid="454810807" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">We can choose a God of our own understanding. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{41}" paraid="751381030" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Get to meetings. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{47}" paraid="174299023" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Work/walk the steps. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{53}" paraid="1853243542" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">I will get a same sex sponsor.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{59}" paraid="1795648524" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Call others in recovery.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{65}" paraid="337201432" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Service work saves us, and others. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{71}" paraid="1250034926" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Carry the message. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{77}" paraid="193267076" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Keep coming back. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{83}" paraid="280091545" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Let Go. Let God.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{89}" paraid="1956245387" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Worry not. <span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{95}" paraid="364389070" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">Thanks, God.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{101}" paraid="844433249" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">And more.<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{107}" paraid="383830484" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif;"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{111}" paraid="254593876" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US"> dd<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW232186624 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW232186624 BCX2" paraeid="{d9a8f9cb-3812-449a-a737-c5d9e8dcf0f6}{117}" paraid="1063773326" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-contrast="none" lang="EN-US" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" xml:lang="EN-US">11/14/2024<span class="EOP SCXW232186624 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"134233117":false,"134233118":false,"335557856":16777215,"335559738":0,"335559739":0}" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 20.925px; font-family: Arial, "Arial_EmbeddedFont", "Arial_MSFontService", sans-serif; color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"> </div></div>   Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2025 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/31/24

Sat, 04 Jan 2025 15:45:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Learning the Truth Was Not as Easy as I Thought It Would Be After more than 3.5 years in CoDA I decided I could face getting my Adoption Disclosure documents. I applied in early June and got them this week (last of October). I was really excited to see them. My biggest question was “how many foster homes did I live in?” Well, the answer turned out to be only 1 but I was alone in the hospital for 10 days. There was a letter accompanying the Record indicating that much of the contents could be triggering and difficult to read but I had to remember the environment into which I was born (the fifties). Being the cocky person that I was about my adoption, I thought “I’ll be fine, I know and have met my biological mother, full brothers and half-brother. I know who my father was (although he was deceased) and met two of his brothers. I also have been told the story of why I was given up for adoption.” After 3.5 years in CoDA, I thought “I can handle anything.” Wrong. I powered through what I could read of the 52-page document on Thursday. I found out when and where I was born as well as my birth weight. That was huge to me. But I also read about how much my mother didn’t want me, how embarrassed she was to be pregnant, how she hid and did everything she could to disguise her pregnancy, how conflicted she was while pregnant. Then I read about how terrified my adopted parents were of me, how they had no idea how to deal with a baby and had to hire a nurse to help.  I was feeling very unsteady and sent messages to my CoDA Buddies about how confused I was feeling, and one wrote: “Liz, you are deeply loved, truly wanted, and thoughtfully chosen by many.” I never cry but I started blubbering like a baby when I read that. CoDA has been very important in my life, putting me in a position to look at where I came from and how I got here. It has given me courage and succour when needed. It has given me lifelong friends who I cherish.  I will be forever grateful to my sister and my daughter who pushed me in this direction. Liz S October 2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/24/24

Sat, 04 Jan 2025 15:36:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Letting Go of VictimhoodI grew up in rural Oklahoma during the 1950s and 1960s, surrounded by family. My mother was one of nine siblings—three brothers and six sisters—which resulted in 30 first cousins on her side alone. When I was nine, my parents built a house next to my maternal grandparents, so most of my evenings and weekends were spent with those relatives. While the adults visited, I often found myself among cousins and relatives, feeling isolated as one of the younger ones. Many relatives seemed quick to put me down; even now, I can still hear my grandfather's voice, saying I was "as worthless as tits on a boar hog." That small community held many secrets—incest and dysfunction were prevalent, and emotional support was virtually nonexistent. For me, childhood was confusing, leaving me profoundly unprepared for adulthood. I developed many dysfunctional coping mechanisms in that environment. I think the most troubling of which was seeing myself as a victim. It was a survival skill in that environment, an ability to assign blame outside myself for my troubles. I became anxious, always expecting to be victimized in one way or another. Through recovery, I’ve come to recognize that much of my anxiety stems from my own conspiracy theories. I had created my own misery by projecting onto others the same negative intentions I carried within myself. This mindset dominated my relationships and worldview for years, making me feel powerless and trapped. Though I may never fully understand the origins of this perspective, recognizing it has been essential. Now, through CoDA, I am learning that I have the power to choose a new way of viewing the world and of connecting with others. Byrle S. 11/12/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/17/24

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 19:10:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header"><span class="TextRun SCXW117428492 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">I Can Change<div class="WACEditing EditMode EditingSurfaceBody FireFox WACViewPanel_DisableLegacyKeyCodeAndCharCode usehover" contenteditable="false" id="WACViewPanel_ClipboardElement" spellcheck="false" style="overflow: hidden; visibility: visible; direction: ltr;" tabindex="0"><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{3f7537a5-9e15-40e9-862e-85f84b2a6cac}{193}" paraid="1619526569" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">Before I started CoDA I was filled with rage. I didn’t even know what rage was. I knew I was angry. I knew I was resentful. I knew I felt fear, but I didn’t know that rolled altogether this created rage. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{3f7537a5-9e15-40e9-862e-85f84b2a6cac}{211}" paraid="13075537" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">I grew up in a rage filled home. My father would get explosively angry and bite his fists. Occasionally his fists would “bite“ someone else who got in his way. I heard stories and even witnessed a few of those physical altercations during my childhood. He never hit his children, but fear of his explosive anger and what passerby would be the victim of his physical attack was always palpable. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{3f7537a5-9e15-40e9-862e-85f84b2a6cac}{225}" paraid="117431811" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">After attending CoDA for some time, I learned this definition of rage and understood on some level that I was playing out this unhealthy coping mechanism in my own way. I had silent, seething rage. I had passive-aggressive behavior. I had lies and manipulation. I had retaliation through hurtful words and scornful looks. I judged and disapproved ragefully at others. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{3f7537a5-9e15-40e9-862e-85f84b2a6cac}{243}" paraid="1745664973" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">I could not understand why I had this running dialogue in my mind of all the reasons I was angry at my husband. I would walk around yelling at him in my mind. I had not learned about the CoDA crazies yet. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{3f7537a5-9e15-40e9-862e-85f84b2a6cac}{253}" paraid="254469578" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">On the outside I was compliant, fearing rejection and abandonment. I started to understand what minimizing, denying or altering my feelings looked like. I learned that codependency is chronic self-abandonment. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{8}" paraid="2076060583" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">As I kept coming back, I began to understand how to put my Fourth Step into action and that I had choices. I didn’t need to continue using the dysfunctional coping skills I observed and practiced in childhood. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{22}" paraid="1235069821" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">I had to have the courage to change, to make new choices. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{28}" paraid="1086899234" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">Today I am more in touch with my needs, feelings and wants. Sometimes it is very uncomfortable practicing awareness and feeling like I am not strong enough yet, not certain enough in my choices. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{34}" paraid="1897476481" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">Thankfully I have a program. I have CoDA friends that I can reach out to. I have people that I trust. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{44}" paraid="1854735345" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">Some days I walk around and the CoDA crazies are like a swarm of bees following me, but eventually I have the awareness to say I am powerless to control my unhealthy thinking. I ask my higher power for strength and guidance. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{58}" paraid="1776972062" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">I now have begun to develop intimacy in my relationship with my husband. We share when one of us has hurt the other's feelings. I have learned how to listen and ask myself, do I need to make amends? </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{68}" paraid="1644332590" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">It’s still hard and I get scared often, but I have evidence now that I can change and so can my relationships, and that gives me just enough strength and courage to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to honor my anger and to try and do things differently. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{74}" paraid="753865197" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px 0px 10.6667px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18.3458px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">I hope that one day I can look back and see how this program has positively impacted my son. I hope I see him using program tools without even realizing that’s what they are, because he witnessed a healthier way. I’ll turn that over to my higher power for now though, because I can go crazy thinking about that, and I love my peace of mind more. </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{84}" paraid="526692295" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">Catherine, codependent <span class="EOP SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"201341983":0,"335559739":0,"335559740":240}" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;"> </div><div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCXW109092104 BCX2" style="direction: ltr;"><p class="Paragraph SCXW109092104 BCX2" paraeid="{8f25d00a-ce53-4479-a6a0-f88bc00bc5cb}{90}" paraid="1782538426" style="font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; text-align: left; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-indent: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;" xml:lang="EN-US">11/10/2024<span class="EOP SCXW109092104 BCX2" data-ccp-props="{"201341983":0,"335559739":0,"335559740":240}" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px; font-family: Aptos, "Aptos_EmbeddedFont", "Aptos_MSFontService", sans-serif;"> </div></div>Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/10/24

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 19:29:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">                                                                                   CourageStep Four – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.The spiritual principle of this Step is courage. For the longest time I thought that I was courage impaired. I believe that if I would have had courage in my past, my life would have been so different. I came to this program paralyzed in fear. By working my steps and attending my CoDA meetings I learn that courage is not absence of fear but instead is acting in spite of fear. Fear in motion as some people call it. I learned that I did have a lot of courage. Opening the door of my CoDA meeting for the first time took a lot of courage. Having an open mind, asking a person to be my sponsor and my willingness to work my Steps are a few examples of courage. I still have fear in some instances but since I have faith and I know that god is always at my side, I can act and be sure I’ll be fine.    Laura S. (2005)  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 12/03/24

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 18:53:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Things Are GoodThings are good. Saying that sounds so ho-hum but looking back at my journey in CoDA the last two and a half years I know how much it has taken to reach “things are good”. “Things are good” doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges and problems to be solved but their weight is so much lighter these days. I’m resilient in a way I’ve never experienced. Other people’s problems are theirs and I am detached in a way that still leaves room for love and warmth. I walk around my urban community and take drives in the country. The autumn leaves emanate a glowing energy like a wild festival of color and dance to celebrate their summer growth and hard work before a winter of rest and recovery. It mirrors my cyclical journey through the Twelve Steps season after season because there is always more to learn, and the flora and fauna come back each spring in a slightly different way bringing more understanding of how to live here in myself. I’m using the tools of recovery, like raking the leaves, planting fall bulbs, mulching the beds without yet conceiving what I’ll plant in the spring. Things are good because I have accumulated tools, because I live in the cycle of recovery, and I dance in the fallen leaves like today is all that matters. Patsy C. 10/27/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/26/24

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 18:19:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Diving Into RecoveryMy therapist had mentioned the word "codependency" many times in our sessions over the last 4 years. I had taken the quizzes, read the books, I understood it, but I didn't "get it". I was reading a book about navigating breakups, and the author suggested CoDA as a resource for those looking for community and support. To be honest, I didn't think she was serious and if she was, there was no way that such a group would exist in my area. It was 5:30 in the evening when I ran an internet search for CoDA and not 90 minutes later I attended my first meeting.While reading through the patterns as detailed on the website, for the first time in my life, things about myself that I hadn't quite understood or had just accepted for what it was not, clicked.I'm one meeting in, and the road ahead will without question be long and at times challenging. I am confident in my ability to tackle that journey head on after my brief time spent with the Fellowship that welcomed me with such kindness. I know now that through this deeply personal journey, I am not alone and can look to others who have walked it before me for strength and someday lift those who will walk in my footsteps along their own.Butch B.10/11/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #33 is online now!

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 20:06:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed “Serenity, Strength and Spiritual Growth” <a href="https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-December-2024-Ed.-33.pdf">https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-December-2024-Ed.-33.pdf</a> MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. There is plenty of room for content in various media formats from our worldwide CoDA community. If you’d like to share your experience, strength and hope in a Meeting in Print, please see our submissions section here: <a href="https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/">https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/</a>  If you’d like to join the Co-NNections committee to help carry the message through Meeting in Print and/or Weekly Readings, please email <a class="external" href="mailto:connections@coda.org?subject=MIP%2032" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">connections@coda.org</a>.  To see more MiP issues, click the link: <a class="external" href="https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/</a> Gratefully,Your Meeting in Print subcommittee  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/19/24

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 19:49:00 GMT

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/12/24

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 21:57:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">The Road to Serenity, PeacePart of learning to love myself is being unafraid to show myself. I am an artist and a poet, even if not professionally. There is nothing more authentic to being me, than revealing this side of myself that I usually keep hidden within the pages of endless journals never really seen. This year, I challenge myself to be authentic in all ways.I am learning to rid myself of my Peacemaker self, embrace my ugly shadow self, and learn to love all of me. I struggle immensely when I see people yelling with anger and rage. I desperately need it to stop. So much so that I will make it my business when it’s not. I want to stop other people from yelling – I want to stop being triggered by what I used to know as my hurt and pain.I am also learning about all my fragmented parts. Those little inner child parts of myself that rise up to keep the rest of myself safe. My Peacemaker is likely one of those. I am finally, after almost four years of CoDA, looking inside myself to see those little girl parts of me that are in so much pain.I can practice, in the moment, saying to my little self, “It’s okay, he is not ignoring you, you are not unimportant. I have you, right here in my arms and you are important to me.” Or “Don’t worry little one, you are not in danger. Anger is sometimes an explosion of emotion and violence does not always follow. You can let him yell, no one is likely to get hurt. I have you, I am holding you, and you are safe.”And a wise woman once told me, “Give people the dignity to have those ugly parts of themselves and those experiences that help them grow.” My Peacemaker can try to stop that from happening. Peacemaking can be harmful. It can hide or deny truths in an attempt at peace. Today, I give my Peacemaker self over to my Higher Power. And today, I wrote this and it helps me:In the MomentLoving my child,In the moment,Will stop the hurt.Giving myself a voice,In the moment,Will stop the resentments.Accepting another’s ugly parts,In the moment,Will stop the blame.Acknowledging and seeing the ugly inside myself,In the moment,Will bring compassion.This is my road,In the moment,To serenity and peace. Michelle M.01/21/2021  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/05/24

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 18:55:00 GMT

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/29/24

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 18:40:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Healing with the CoDA PromisesI will heal by working the CoDA programme and by using the 12 Promises as my affirmations:As I heal:I am going to ‘know a new sense of belonging’ and within that freedom I will grow.I will gradually learn how to ‘overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity’.This will create ‘a new freedom’ I have never experienced before.I will hold on to the thought that as I work my CoDA programme, I will ‘be released from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present’.I will be aware enough about my past ‘not to repeat it’.I will know a new inner ‘love and acceptance of myself’ and as I develop in CoDA, this will be extended to others.I will experience genuine feelings of being ‘lovable, loving and loved’.As I carry on along my CoDA journey I will learn to see myself as equal to others’.I will experience ‘new and renewed relationships’ that all feel as if they are ‘equal partners’.My progressive journey with CoDA will help me develop and maintain these ‘healthy and loving relationships’.I will understand who in my life I can trust by identifying only ‘those who are trustworthy’.I will learn that it is possible ‘to mend – to become more loving, intimate and supportive’.I will understand that I have a choice in who I communicate with and ensure I do this in a ‘way which is safe for me and respectful of them’.I will come to realise that I truly ‘am a unique and precious creation’.Instead of looking to others, ‘I will rely on myself for my own sense of worth.’I will know where to look for the right guidance and in doing so I will ‘come to believe in my own capabilities’.I know that if I stay on my CoDA journey I will ‘gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life’. Debbie R.09/23/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/22/24

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 18:32:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Growth Through Service What does it mean to me to be a trusted servant? I recently attended my first CoDA Service Conference (CSC). It was quite the experience! There were several opportunities for me to put my program tools to work.First, the traveling itself comes with its own set of stresses: booking a flight, packing, navigating TSA, customs, and figuring out ground transportation. Then the preparation to speak at the conference. Pretty unnerving for me to get up and speak in front of a large group of people.I could have stayed home and stayed in my comfort zone. I would have missed out on so much though.Seeing the process of new motions, making new friends, meeting people in person whom I only knew through video meetings, touring a new city. I learned that I am capable of speaking in front of others, that I can present information in a clear and concise way. I also learned it’s okay to have doubts and fears as long as I don’t let them rule me. I had to remind myself that the healthy perspective is I am just one person with one set of opinions or beliefs.CoDA works when we are all looking to our Higher Power for guidance; looking for the greater good — not just what seems right to me. It was a hard lesson in the moment with a racing heartbeat and even a few tears. But knowing that something greater than myself was at work got me through. Got me to a new level of serenity and confidence that things will work out just as they should — and they did!I stayed over the weekend and had the opportunity to make even more friends at the International CoDA Convention (ICC). I attended inspiring workshops that focused on my internal world of thoughts and core beliefs. Tools were discussed reminding me of the importance of daily affirmations, loving myself, and how to effectively apply the principles of the Twelve Traditions in all my relationships.I had the privilege of meeting CoDA’s founders. Firsthand, I felt their warmth, kindness and humility.It was an amazing week of both giving of myself and personal growth. I was willing to give yet received so much more.A trusted servant — what better way to experience the joys of recovery and serenity.Alison J. 08.16.2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/15/24

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 17:19:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I’m in the Right PlaceThe story of my life. I am related to Priya.Hello friends,I have a story about myself that I caused a lot of pain before I came to my CoDA family...I am the child of divorce, the first child of a family from a middle-class religious society, with a philandering stepfather and a devoted mother. The guardianship of my two younger siblings was entrusted to me. Of course, from the stepfather who did not fulfill his own responsibility and put this on my shoulders.My childhood was not so difficult. My adolescence was spent with family disputes. A family where addiction was significant. A mother who didn't seem very satisfied with her role, in so much pain and nervous that I was also sick and sad because of her pain.Anyway, I got married when I was young, and two children were the product of this marriage. Against my will we divorced. It was a nightmare for me. In dysfunctional families like mine, divorce, addiction and betrayal are almost inevitable.My codependent patterns from my childhood showed themselves more in adulthood. Too much responsibility, controlling things, my low self-confidence, withdrawal and isolation. I was saying yes and no at the wrong times. I was not seen and heard and endured successive rejections from my family. In short, the result was that I became a kind yet controlling mother. I influenced the codependent behaviors of my children. This vicious cycle had repeated itself to the point where I got serious illnesses and became more disabled day by day.Discovering CoDA happened very accidentally by a person (language teacher) of my child who was the miracle of my life. I found a sponsor, worked from day one and was hooked, then progressed through the CoDA Steps. Until then, I thought I was not codependent at all. And now, after years of relationship addiction, I finally found my way to CoDA. Here I slowly learned that my lack of intimacy was due to my childhood experiences and my attachments to others.My sponsor’s recovery message to me was: "You have to take care of yourself and no one else." Thank God, I learned a lot of lessons in this bitter life that I had. First, I forgave myself and I forgave others along the way over time. Today I am recovering as an example to offer to my friends.I feel very good today, there are problems, but why? Because a superior force was added to my life, a higher power that accompanies me until now.I understand that I have a choice. One day I have good energy and one day I have low energy. In any case today I know that I have the tools of the Program. I have a sponsor. I serve, I work the Steps, I meditate in my own style, I check my daily inventory. Not always, but when I feel bad, it gives me an alarm that I have gone away and left the path of recovery. Likewise, today I know I am in the right place, healing right now, because I approach experiences in a gentle and loving way.As I attend CoDA meetings, I support myself in an authentic and intentional way. Through learning about CoDA, I became aware of dealing with childhood pain. Today I wish to be involved only in healthy and loving relationships. For me, life without recovery and consciousness means "impairment"!My servant friend, I am willing to share my story with other friends in recovery.Messi Y. Tehran, Iran 08.23.2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/8/24

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 16:59:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">God, Who Am I?Since I've been to two CoDA meetings, I'm beginning to confirm my situation in life. On May 4, 2024, my two kids and I made a move to another city to live with my younger sister and her husband. At first, I was doing what I always do, which is cleaning, cooking, and sometimes babysitting.I felt joy for three weeks, then my feelings surfaced, the ones I always hid. I thought to myself, what is going on? I was being the savior of my sister's marriage and trying to help her as always. I sided with her, I trusted her because with my mental health conditions, she would help me out. But God intervened and made their hearts cold, and I felt a deep pain that was completely unbearable. Tears flowed and I couldn't stop. I was always the savior since I was nine years old. The abandonment issues came forth and I knew that I needed to leave. My tears turned to a degree of anger that if I had said anything or tried to work it out, I would still feel no justice.God through CoDA helped me realize that I'm not in control of others, I'm not a savior, trying to take his place and had not realized it till now. I heard a young woman say she felt estranged from her family. Now I know exactly what she meant. The only people I feel like I can just be me, and I feel a sense of power are the ones I know that I don't have to agree with or take advice from regarding my life. Yes, I will probably make some mistakes, but I know I'm resilient and have faith. When I feel alone, I remember my situation and most importantly God, who loves me unconditionally and is a prayer away.Thank you for reading my story.Lissette B. 08/17/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/1/24

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 17:32:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Unconditional LoveHi, I'm Jason. A codependent in recovery. All of my life I've felt like I didn't belong, like I didn't fit in and that if someone really got to know me that would be cause for them to leave. I thought that as far as relationships were concerned, to really know me was to leave me and if you didn't know me then you couldn't hurt me.I thought that since my primary relationship was with my father and he abandoned me at an early age.Today in recovery I see that my primary relationships are with myself and my higher power. He loves me unconditionally and shows an example of how I can love myself unconditionally, one day at a time.Jason P. 08/20/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/24/24

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 17:02:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">“Flooding” as My TeacherI learned about the concept of flooding when I first joined CoDA three years ago.  I heard someone share about their problem with flooding in what is now my home group.  And I kept hearing people mentioning it as we spoke on CoDA phone calls.  For me, it means that I speak usually quickly and in long diatribes often fueled by resentment and fear.  At these times, I literally “flood” the conversation, like water flooding a neighborhood during a hurricane, only I use words and emphasis and vehemence.  I realize that sometime in the past this habit might have been effective in “getting my way,” but it no longer serves me. In what situations do I exhibit this character defect?  I’ve done this to my wife for years and never realized it.  I’d be talking about a topic, enjoying myself, bathing in my flow of words, demonstrating my genius, when she would bristle, get an annoyed look on her face.  When I flooded her with words, she would get defensive and withdraw.  Then I would feel hurt, dejected, and respond by saying something like, “Why don’t you listen to me?  Can’t you pay attention?  You really don’t love me!”  As the patterns warn us, that kind of language only invites others to reject us more.I also found that I do this in my job as a teacher.  I’d start pontificating on a simple topic, go off on a tangent, get resentful at some idea or another and forget what I was talking about!  Usually, I would figure it out as I look out at the numb faces and blank eyes of the students.  Then, I would stop and feel embarrassed with myself.And I have found myself doing it in committee meetings, both for work and for service in recovery.  I get an idea, and I must thoroughly express it, leave no angle or perspective unexplored.  When I get going sometimes it’s hard to stop.  As I’ve participated in my CoDA committee meetings, however, I’ve begun to see the beauty in silence, in letting others have a say.Jim H.08/09/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/17/24

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:47:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Never AloneI have just realized that I am not in my childhood anymore. The people who hurt me then are long gone and my environment now is safe. So why am I clenching my jaw, cowing my head, rehearsing what I might say, swearing inside? There's no need to do those things anymore.CoDA has taught me that there is a me that exists free of the coping strategies and mechanisms of survival mode. I am that me, and my Higher Power fuels that me - always has her back, knows her path and guides her, will never leave her alone.I may think I am alone, but my Second Step Prayer is in my memory and in this moment I can believe that I am never alone. Through meetings, literature, prayers and readings, I release myself from survival mode. I build a bridge to my Higher Power - I change. I am precious and free.Paula 07/30/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/10/24

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 18:30:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I walked out of my first CoDA meeting halfway through. The fear was too much. But in that short time, something, someone, or just a feeling stuck with me, and I returned the next week. So started a journey, that I call "knowing and growing self". Each meeting, each step was an uncovering of who I was. Those glimpses kept me going and kept me moving forward. Sometimes I got it wrong, but I learned and returned. This realization that recovery was not a straight line and freedom is earned became that basis for my poem:FREEDOM (An Open Amends)I have this deep seated need to be understood, as if understanding would be enough. I don’t know.I cannot reclaim all the love I didn’t receive as a child, from one person. They cannot give it. I am sorry if I tried. To let go of what I didn’t get and accept what I have now is all I can do. What I have now is a chance to become whole and to share that wholeness with people that I care about. Having a chance to love without conditions and receive love without reservations.Today is not Yesterday and never will be. Tomorrow is a story I am writing and Yesterday is a chapter that is finished. In my book today I am writing about me, who I am, my wants and needs, my fears and strengths. Tearing down those walls of my self-made prison, I can see and feel the freedom that was always there, the joy that was always mine. As those walls come down, I can see the world as it really is, leaving behind the world of my imprisoned mind. I see a world that can accept me and love me if I embrace it. Making me free at last to accept the gifts of nature; to feel the warmth of the sun and the cool of the wind; to know that I am alive.Please forgive me if I stumble and in the process hurt you. A prison is no place to learn how to live. But to stumble is inevitable. Like the trees stripped of their leaves, only to be renewed in the coming spring, so too will I renew myself, each time I fall. In so doing I will learn and grow. I am an eager student, now that freedom has encompassed me. I can never go back. In that freedom, I hope to experience the joy of sharing my aliveness with the people that I care about and the people I have yet to meet. To me this is true freedom.Gerry B. 07/27/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Co-NNections Meeting In Print Issue #32 is online now!

Sat, 07 Sep 2024 02:46:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Meeting in Print (MiP), a CoDA Co-NNections subcommittee, is proud to announce that the latest issue of its publication, themed “Pathway to Recovery” <a class="external" href="https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-September-2024-Ed.-32.pdf" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank"> https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/CoDA-MiP-September-2024-Ed.-32.pdf</a>  MiP is a quarterly publication that is structured like a live meeting; opening with the CoDAs foundational readings (Preamble, Welcome, Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions), followed by member shares (stories, poetry, artwork, photographs, etc.), and closing with Affirmations and Prayers. There is plenty of room for content in various media formats from our worldwide CoDA community. If you’d like to share your experience, strength and hope in a Meeting in Print, please see our submissions section here: <a href="https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/">https://coda.org/service-info/connections-service-info-page/</a>  If you’d like to join the Co-NNections committee to help carry the message through Meeting in Print and/or Weekly Readings, please email <a class="external" href="mailto:connections@coda.org?subject=MIP%2032" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">connections@coda.org</a>.  To see more MiP issues, click the link: <a class="external" href="https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/" rel="external" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">https://coda.org/meeting-in-print/</a> Gratefully,Your Meeting in Print subcommittee  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/03/24

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 17:03:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">A New CanvasI first learned about CoDA during college after I tried to take my life. Needless to say, I did not stay in CoDA. During college, Dad had died, I was hundreds of miles away from home and my entire life I felt alone, full of fear, and hopeless. I dropped out of college after the attempt, needing only 6 credit hours to complete my bachelor’s degree. At that point I realized I needed help from all the past trauma I had experienced growing up in a dysfunctional family of alcoholic parents. I covered my trauma with drinking on and off, dysfunctional relationships, having fun traveling the world, playing underwater hockey, learning djembe drum and watercolor painting, to name a few. Nothing that I did made me feel safe in the world until I actually started working the CoDA program in 2022.It took me at least 35 years to come to terms with my trauma and how that related to the CoDA program. I came from poverty so my focus most of my life had always been about having stuff so I could look good.Even though my life seemed full, and I thought I had everything I wanted, I realized that I still had an emptiness inside I couldn’t explain. In 2022, after COVID I found myself feeling hopeless and again wanting to end it all. It was suggested that I do a 30-day treatment program. There was a lot of fear in making that decision. I would need to notify my job, my family and friends that I had come undone and needed to go away for a short time. First, I asked the Universe to grant me humility, willingness to stay out of my own way and the ability to hear what I needed in order to heal from feeling lack, alone and scared. During the first 30 days of treatment, I cried and talked about past trauma to the group and my therapist in a way that I had never done before. After the 30 days I felt I had been stripped down of everything that I had known and became amenable, and I was able to attend CoDA meetings again.Looking back, that feeling of hopelessness and overwhelming fear and then surrendering to honesty, openness and willingness was actually the best thing that had happened to me. I realized by taking time out of my life to heal, that learning about how I relate to myself and how I relate to others is the most important aspect of my success!!When I surrender, there’s a gap, some space that is created for healing and a new understanding. I can do all things through my Creator. I understand that what created me is part of who I am and that I’m not better or not less than anyone. I have a new canvas to write my life from! I see life and the world around me differently. The CoDA Promises continue to manifest in my life! I am fortunate that I attend 2 meetings a week, I read CoDA endorsed material, got a sponsor and started doing the steps. My life is full, my cup is running over with abundance, joy and love as a result of being an active participant in CoDA services.Love Intensely,Abby M 07/25/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/27/24

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 23:04:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">AcceptanceSelf-esteem. It’s interesting to think about what that word means. How do I esteem myself? What do I think of who I am?For most of my life I let others make that decision for me. I was a people pleaser. I let what others thought of me define who I was. In recovery, I’m learning who I am. I am growing. I am more self-aware in knowing my strengths and my weaknesses.Because I am learning who God—my higher power—is and how I am loved just as I am. I can admit when I make a mistake, realizing I, myself, am not a mistake.I can listen to other people’s criticism of me or my actions and I can choose to examine the truthfulness of their criticism, being open to what is true. Sometimes, there is some truth in what they say, some change that would benefit me. Sometimes the criticism is coming from the other person’s issues.I am learning to accept. Accepting and loving myself, I can accept them for who they are now, where they are now. I pray and wish them well on their journey.Debbie – 01/22/2019  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/20/24

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 18:14:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">A Grateful CodependentAgain Dad, again you let me down and again it still hurts like when I was younger......I'm not young anymore I'm a full-grown adult and again it still hurts.Now I can get up and not attend your arguments.....I can feel your insanity and know it's time to leave the room - I can take my inner child by her hand look at her lovingly and say "we're not staying here" and I take her to safety, bringing her where we can garden and listen to beautiful meditation music sitting in the sun with our dog. I can keep the anxiety at bay for both of us.Although a tear or two might emerge it's no longer for you Dad - it's for me......the tears of relief, the tears of joy that I came through war - losing all my loved ones in the process and at times nearly losing myself. Discovering codependency is now my higher power because understanding it and working at it I can experience a life that can be managed through turmoil - I can see light where there was darkness, and I can feel love where I was empty. In CoDA, I'm in a club of people who suffer and have suffered. I'm not alone, I have community that understands my lifelong pains. To anyone new "welcome" and to anyone who's been here for a time "thank you."Brita ~ A grateful Codependent. 06/18/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/13/24

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 18:10:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I wrote this recently. CoDA and other programs have been such a great support to me. I'm not perfect, but I'm working on me and that's what matters most."Sometimes the Worry Monster Wins"It's been years of taming this thing, this visceral, scared, thing. Years of trying to give it a name, of trying to put it into words, of crying through it in the dark, dirty nights. For so long, nothing helped. For so long, I let it take my hand, pull me, to the ground, to the left, to the back. But slowly, through friends who understand, through strangers at tables who share, through kind souls I pay to listen, and through medication Ferris wheels, I've been able to learn to escape. To break the chains of my broken, wanting, inner child and to breathe again with lungs that feel less heavy.But sometimes, my heart is too big. Sometimes my goodness gets the best of me, and I forget that I was not made to bleed for others' choices. I spent so long in pain, so long being lost inside other people's stories that I could never trust my own. I needed to be needed, I needed to be the best friend, the best sister, the best partner, but I never ever got it back.Every day is still a fight against the worry monster, each day it's a fight to just be the best me just for me. I don't always win, and on those days, I find my suffering again, giving up my peace to try to help others find theirs. I am then left battered, abused, and made to question the new me that I've carefully built.But I always find my way again. It's getting easier to sink into the quiet, easier to turn off my phone, breathe back into myself. Now, I can finally send the monster away... with a voice that doesn't shake.Staci B. 06/07/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/06/24

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 23:14:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Step 8 – ForgivenessMade a list of all persons we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. When I first thought about this step, I had only four people on my list: my husband and my three children. And as I was thinking about the ways I had hurt them, I realized I was still stuck on how they had hurt me! And how is my list only four people? I have been codependent for a long time—and not just with my family.So, I started with a list of the people that had hurt me. At the top of the list was my husband because that is the deepest and freshest hurt. The rest of the list flowed pretty easily and was long. Coworkers, bosses, old boyfriends, my children, my mother and father, people I couldn’t even remember the names of—but I sure remembered the hurt or the embarrassment they caused. I put the list away for a bit then went back to look at it. The first thing I noticed was most of the men that I had ever been involved made the list. Then I noticed that all the people I worked the hardest to please also listed on it.I went back to my list of people I had harmed. It grew. It grew to include all the people that had hurt me at some point in my adult life. I realized I had set myself up. In the process of trying to control the situation or the people, while they were hurting me, I was hurting them, and in the process, myself.Then I made a third list: only one name—my own. I am the one that I have hurt the most. I am still hurting myself. I torture myself with obsessive-compulsive behavior toward lost relationships that I think I am going to save. I create a fantasy world fueled by denial, where everything is rosy and I am on the verge of living happily ever after, if only I could make everything and everyone be the way I want them to be. I often feel like I take one step forward and two steps back, and I fall back into self-pity and feeling victimized. I know this is an essential part of recovery, but it is hard.I am still trying to identify all of my harmful behaviors. Allowing others to treat me badly and not setting appropriate boundaries has led to resentment, anger and guilt. All of these harmful behaviors have harmed me the most.The willing to make amends part of this step has been much harder than I anticipated. Of course I want to get better; of course I want to make amends. But I realized I am still harboring too much guilt and shame, too much anger, and still too much fear, especially toward my husband and myself.I am learning that I must forgive others before I can move forward, be at peace, and begin to heal. What has happened in the past has led me to now. As I look at my past, I realize I am learning what I want and what I don’t want. It is part of taking care of myself.I especially like this quote I found online from a codependent named Ann: "Forgive others, not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace."Marilyn P. – 08/05/2016  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/30/24

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 17:49:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">I started going to CoDA meetings nearly a year ago. Prompted by my therapist who suggested I'd be well-served by a 'community' who was suffering in similar ways, I went to an in-person Wednesday evening group to see if it was the medicine I'd been seeking. Slowly then suddenly, hearing people talk about boundaries - their struggle to maintain them and yet their subsequent joy that came from learning why they struggled in the first place - gave me so much peace. It made me feel less broken. It made me feel worthwhile... like if this group of amazing, funny, supportive human beings could be there for themselves in the process, maybe I could learn to accept myself as a work in progress, too. Every Wednesday since then, I have looked forward to meeting the community that keeps me accountable to accepting myself, flaws and all.Kisses From a Recovering CodependentBig emotions, strong devotionsUnrequited careConflict <a name="_Int_mUwcxl6I">manage</a>, take advantageManipulative flareIf you resist it, I can fix itI can carry it allI find it thrilling to will the unwillingI catch anything that fallsBut wait, what’s there? My own despair?I thought I was a machineMy overloaded mind explodedAnother mess I have to clean!But wait a minute, just sit in itEmotions don’t require actionMy performative ways for all these days,I’ll replace with some compassionAnd there she is, my inner kidWaiting to be appeasedNo more to do, it’s just you & youNo people left to pleaseFrom here on out, I’ll never doubtThe truth that I’m enoughAnd when my urges start to surfaceI’ll call my ego’s bluffNo contemplations of compensationsIf there’s no hits, then there’s no missesTime for reflection, progress not perfectionSigned, with codependent kisses Cyd K.  03.23.2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/23/24

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 15:26:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">An Anatomy of My CoDA SlipLast year I was doing our annual taxes and getting pretty obsessed. I was hoping my wife would edit the tax document to make sure I hadn’t made any errors, especially because she had expressed interest in helping out more with our finances. After dinner, I asked her to sit down on my computer to take a look. She said something like, “Sure, I’ll do it later.” I saw no reason why she couldn’t have done it immediately. Waiting for her, my impatience, hurt, and resentment grew. I tried to let it go but I couldn’t although I pretended to.Suddenly, I was stricken with the desire to control and to get immediate satisfaction of my “needs.” At this point, we were both sitting in our home office. I said sternly, “Honey, I need you to do this now. I have to get this done!” She responded, “Why do I have to do it now? What’s the rush?” She got up reluctantly to take a brief look at the tax document on my computer screen. I said, “Please sit down and go through the thing,” but she kept pleading that she was too tired and would do it later. Finally, she sat down because I wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. She immediately found that I had missed a date and was reading when I lost total control and became even more upset. It sounds illogical, but I felt like she didn’t love me, like I didn’t matter to her. Abandoned again. My throat constricted. I felt like it was an insult for her to help, like it was a handout. So I wailed, “Forget it. You don’t love me. It’s too late. I really, really don’t want you to do it now.” My wife was astonished at first, but I insisted she stop, so she got up and left the room.At this point I felt even worse, but I went upstairs to my trusty journal and began to look at this crazy incident through the eyes of the Twelve Steps and CoDA recovery. After writing about how I had been “abused” and harmed, it was my turn to be astonished. When I got to the “my part” section of my resentment and fear list, the truth began to seep in like a rising tide: I had overreacted and treated my loving wife very poorly. The taxes weren’t due for another month! Where is the urgency in that? My wife is an autonomous human being and she in no way deserved to be treated like that. What had I done? This realization hit me like a train.So, I went back downstairs and apologized. I told her there was in fact no urgency at all, and it would be absolutely fine if she looked at it the next day. Or the next. Or in a couple weeks for that matter. She hadn’t expected an apology and was pleased to see that I had come to my senses, but she was still mad. That night she slept in a separate bedroom.In retrospect, I have come to view this as a CoDA slip. I’m not too tough on myself though. I did more writing and uncovered a lot of other stressors in my life and other areas where I was feeling like I was doing more than my share of work around the house. I shared this with my wife but didn’t request anything. The next day, however, I saw her pitching in on dishes and other chores to help me more. We both realized that I was going through a particularly challenging time at work and had simply failed to communicate that I needed more help. I am so glad that I have CoDA to put this ridiculous episode into perspective and be able to learn from my relationship mistakes.Jim H. 4/15/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/16/24

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 16:07:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Codependency  ‘I’ll mold myself into whatever you need me to be’I told myself, drunk with CODEPENDENCY,I’ll twist myself to meet your need,I’ll remake myself to appease your greed,“Whatever you need Me to be,”I say, as I people please,Yet the cruel reality is that youCannot see the real me,Codependency has hijacked my reality,It’s a pity, you see,Because who I am without thee,Is quite honest and quite free,If I just got rid of this damn codependency!”  When I healed my codependency,I remembered this story is about ME,Not about fixing, rescuing, or saving,Everyone I see in CoDA A story about Self Love,A story I am proud of,As I evolve, As I blossom,As I BE,Healed from codependency. Mia   05/11/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/9/24

Tue, 09 Jul 2024 17:41:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Unraveling Coping Mechanisms From ChildhoodI take this opportunity not to regurgitate debilitating pain, but to gently arrive at a new understanding of the effects of pain from my childhood, that I realised I still carried with me as an adult.To work through the layers, it is hugely important that I admit that my childhood experiences negatively impacted how I have perceived myself as an adult. My aim for this experience was to overcome the trauma that had dogged me throughout my adulthood as an effect of the pain I endured in my childhood. The trauma drove my authentic self into hiding so that I could survive and cope. I remember distinct feelings as a child of hiding away (metaphorically) and that it was very important for me to somehow not be a bother. But where did this belief come from?I think back to the beginning. I picture myself as a helpless infant dependent upon my emotionally suffering mother. By the age of four I was one of six children. Instinctively I knew that my role in the family was to hide away and somehow not be a bother. My mother was so busy with my five siblings that she needed me to be quiet and not cause a fuss, and as the introduction in Peeling the Onion states, ‘we came to realise that we were groomed to meet their needs’.I was groomed to be quiet and not make a fuss. So, I kept quiet…My mother seemed very unsatisfied in her role. Her frustration was expressed through regular innuendos about herself not being good enough, where she would say ‘wrong again Charlie’ – and she was Charlie.The subtle innuendos were passed down to me.She had feelings of abandonment from her mother and would talk with me about this at times when I had grown up. I believe she continued to feel abandoned as a wife. I think that her unaddressed love and abandonment shaped my experiences as a child. In my process of being groomed to be quiet and not make a fuss, I was to experience ingrained feelings of loss – loss of her love.The cycle of abandonment continued.Through years of relationship addiction, I finally found my way to CoDA. Here I slowly learned that due to my childhood experiences, the root of my codependent behaviour was an absence of intimacy with myself. Ever so slowly, I picked myself up and began to forgive myself for not knowing what I didn’t know. I found a sponsor, worked through the First Fourteen Days, and then progressed through the CoDA Steps.I gradually began to forgive my mother and in doing so, forgive myself.Today, I know I am in the right place, right now in my recovery as I approach experiences in a gentle and loving way. As I keep coming back to my weekly CoDA meeting, I pick myself up in a forgiving and supportive way. Through the support of CoDA, I have become aware of coping mechanisms from childhood pain.Today, I have a desire to only be engaged in healthy and loving relationships.Debbie R. 06/01/24  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/2/24

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 17:48:00 GMT

<header class="entry-header">Growth Through Healing My Inner ChildI feel that I’m super strong but I’m extremely emotionally tender.Often, I have found myself being the only one in a setting that was upset over something. I never could understand how or why it didn’t upset the others too. For years it would happen again and again. Same thing, only it got much worse the older I got because it needed tending to and I was too busy trying to fit in with everyone else and ignoring my entire being crying out for help.I began to notice the expressions on people's faces when it would happen, and it was the look of Crazy…Strange.I had been labeled as overly sensitive for as long as I can remember but it started sabotaging my efforts and destroying any credibility or chance for happiness and fulfillment in my community and with my peers. So, I started doing my inner child healing work diligently and faithfully. Over time and with many practices, exercises, and readings from top psychologists, psychiatrists, and MDs.I revisit and trace my triggers back to the source, confront them, and finally feel them into healing ways.I’ve met my inner children and I have many. All shut down in different times and ways and ages. Not even getting a chance to be a baby before experiencing the harshness of this world, and too many times to mention after that, along my growth timeline. Shut down, Silenced, Robbed and Raped into silence and shame – carrying it all into my adulthood because I was told to be quiet, discredited, or shamed into submission and the lonely disparaging darkness.I visit and tend to all my inner children. I was focusing on my angry inner teen when my 9-year-old self peered into my eyes and begged me with eyes full of tears to please set her free from that place she’s frozen in.We cried together and I felt the healing energy between us mingling and preparing to set her free from the pain of being raped repeatedly by her stepbrother and molested by her German landlord. This happened when living in Germany in a village above an old nazi soldier’s paint store who also happened to be our family’s renting landlord.So don’t you ever mention this again! You trying to get us kicked out of our house here? Keep your mouth shut! That’s what my parents said when I went to them about it.That was what shaped the pattern and paved the way for many more sexual assaults throughout the years. And when I did try to get help, I was shut down, ridiculed, called a liar or accused of it myself when it was not the truth.I no longer have a victim mentality because of the work I am doing. I’m a spiritual warrior who is grateful to be in the greatest school in the universe and the opportunity for the lessons I need to evolve and grow and prosper, so I can pay it forward to others in my community and the world.Lastly, I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation for CoDA and even more grateful that they have encompassed the inner child healing into their program! Since I ran away at age fourteen, I have searched for ways to finish raising myself by looking for books or anything I could find on healing my traumatic experiences in childhood, so thank you Co-Dependents Anonymous! I no longer have fear and doubt about what awaits me in life, but I do have Hope and Belief about what awaits me in life and in my future.Thank you for reading my story.Pam W. 04/24/2024  Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to <a href="mailto:wr@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20WR%20Article%20Submission">wr@coda.org.</a> </header> You can review previous 2015 - 2024 readings here:<a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/"> https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a> . Older readings are here: <a href="https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/">https://coda.org/co-nnections-recovery-stories/</a><a href="http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories/"> </a>If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: <a href="https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/">https://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/</a>If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email <a href="mailto:info@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">info@coda.org</a>If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.For Spanish inquiries you may email <a href="mailto:espanol@coda.org?subject=CoDA%20Question">espanol@coda.org</a> or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.