Hope Not Dependence

I am blind. This just happened in the last two years. I have dealt with my codependency for over twenty-six years. I did meetings for many years. I knew when I had slipped up with people I loved. 

I put up with some very hard relationships by giving lots of money. I did this thinking they would be there for me as I got older. They were not. I had to learn this through the pain of rejection because when I really need help, they are not around -- unless they want money.

So, at 88, I learned to use the resources that are available. I just rode a bus to the blind center and got the help I needed with some papers. Then rode the bus home.

I found that taking care of myself and also learning new ways of getting around has put new hope into my life. I’m learning to live without the pain of false hope in people I still love, without being used. Hope not dependance. 

Arlene J.
07/28/2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.