My Life - My Responsibility

Since early childhood I have always rescued animals who were injured and lost. During my teenage years I began "rescuing" people too. No one asked me to, I just hopped over all the boundaries between "My Life ~ My Responsibility," and extended it to include, "Your Life ~  My Responsibility too!!!"
 
When I was 16, my loving Mom was dying of cancer. It was a traumatic 3 years, excruciatingly painful for our whole family, but we never discussed it. We had been raised to be cheerful, creative, and witty. In retrospect I understand that my parents didn't have the skills to discuss hurt, anger, frustration, or any intensely painful subjects. They had been raised to be very obedient, overachievers, children that were "seen and not heard."
 
My youthful codependency graduated into adult-sized problems. As they say, "Expectations are premeditated resentments." And I was on many emotional rollercoasters attempting to "rescue" intimate partners, co-workers, and my patients, (I'm an RN, one who rationalizes my co-dependency as "legitimate caring." ... NOT!)

I am so grateful for the miracles that result from working the 12 steps of recovery with a sponsor.  
 
And thank you, Ken, for being a founding member of CoDA. I was listening to one of your recorded talks as I was driving the Hopi & Navajo nations, and you had me laughing out loud. 

It's a good indication that I’m on the road to recovery, when I can see my part in my own misery-making-machine, laugh about it, and thank God for the grace, love, and wisdom that comes from working the steps.

To all the newcomers, "Don't Quit Before the Miracle!" 

And to all the old timers and everyone doing service, "Thank you soooo much❤️."

Kathi S.
07/08/2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.