How CoDA Helped Me

CoDA helped by giving me the Preamble, the Promises, the Steps, the Traditions, and the meetings. The people offered a safe space and a forgiving ear, because I was very scared and in a lot of emotional pain. 

I was a survivor. Using “I statements” and not “We statements” was hard. I had no idea what my CoDA story was. But I recognized it in the shares of others. I listened on phone meetings for a long time, and when I started sharing, it wasn’t coherent. I learned to wait for the story to reveal itself, and for my higher power to take away my defects of character when I failed. I heeded the advice to let go. Meanwhile, I read nearly every CoDA book and pamphlet. I quit drinking entirely and am relieved not to be invited to awkward gatherings that must be smoothed over with alcohol. I have found three meetings that help meet my needs, reduce triggers and emotional dependency, and help me practice detachment. I devote a lot of time to attending CoDA educational events online. I give money appropriately. I recognize low energy as the red flag that I am engaging in compulsive behavior and thinking. I then shelve my to-do list, and I connect to myself and Higher Power. I tell HP how grateful I am for all that I have, and that I know it is quite a lot.

To those who have shared their stories and gave service to the group, I hope you see my increased stability as signs of your success. I also recognize that those I encountered on my journey did their very best, just as I did, and did so many, many things right or with honorable intentions. To others that walked alongside me, I could not have done it without you. You were role models. I hope HP will allow all of us to meet somewhere in gratitude and in full recovery. Meanwhile, I am grateful to share my recovery journey and love of HP through readings, writings, meetings, events, financial support and outreach.

Jamie M.
05.17.2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.