Growing From Poor Me to Facing My Fear and Dreams.

I came to CoDA and as they say “my life was a mess”. I cried when I read every line of the Twelve Promises. The Promises were all I hoped for. Then I started believing in myself. Speaking my truth.

Once I remember asking for something, trembling inside and not being able to look my husband in the face, but I did it!! I felt fear but did it anyway. I felt my husband had squashed my life. His fault or mine? Probably both. But being codependent, I was second guessing and pleasing and never happy in myself. I made a decision, not long after joining CoDA, that as I work the program and if my husband and I split up or stay together it wasn’t my decision alone. It was in the laps of the gods, my HP now as I know it.

Now 3 years later my husband and I get on really well. Our lives have grown together in so many ways. One of the things I really love now is when he gets angry driving, I no longer think it’s my fault as I thought before. Once we ended up laughing when he was driving angrily and he realised how silly he sounded.

It’s not all roses. I find communicating with my children hard, but I come back to CoDA meetings sharing, asking for feedback and ESH and I learn. Not as fast as I’d like to.

My job has changed dramatically. I have followed my dream and become a flight cabin crew. My recent achievement which would never have happened if it wasn’t for my CoDA groups is I’m going on holiday to India by myself. My husband has accepted my dream of travel, and I’ve accepted his fear of flying. But we do plan on having lots of holidays together but only short flights and trains.

I’m only halfway through my Steps and I feel a miracle. Today I was having deep uncomfortable feelings, and I suddenly thought to name this feeling. And I had to take time and I wasn’t sure. It was guilt and when I realised I had done nothing wrong I let it go. I asked my HP to help me and the day became good.

Tricia M.
04.03.2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.