23 Years: One Day at a Time

When I first came to CoDA, I had already been in two other 12-step programs.  A sponsor in one of those programs encouraged me to start attending CoDA meetings.  This was a G-d thing. The timing was perfect.  In CoDA meetings I heard others who talked about their struggles with healthy relationships.  I heard myself in many of the shares, even though our lives were different in many ways. 

Although there were periods of time when I wasn’t attending meetings regularly, I continued to apply the principles in many aspects of my life. 

When the pandemic began, I had the opportunity to attend many more meetings than I had been. Online meetings made this possible.  For the last 6 years, I’ve attended at least one meeting per week.  Last month I attended an in-person meeting for the first time in many years.  It was at that meeting that I announced my 23-year CoDA birthday.  There was, to my delight, a coin for this milestone.  

Although I have been in recovery for so many years, I still struggle with my tendency to control or want to control.  I also need to be attentive to ensure that I am practicing proper boundaries.

Attending meetings, whether in person or online allows me to practice healthy relationships and proper boundaries.  I experience the Fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous as a safe place in which to allow myself to be vulnerable, to practice good communication skills, to listen attentively without reacting or interrupting, and practicing other healthy behaviors.

I continue to attend meetings regularly.  I meet weekly online with my co-sponsor who lives in Europe.  We met at an online meeting three years ago, and have developed a trusting, fulfilling relationship in which we provide CoDA support to each other.  We read CoDA literature during the meeting, discussing what we’ve read, and answering questions that are in the reading.  We also each take timed shares to “get current” with our recovery journey.

CoDA has been a strong support for me over many years.  I can see how, though sometimes slower than I might like, I’m stronger in my sense of self.  My relationship with my Higher Power is an ongoing process/practice.  I’m learning how to see myself as equal in all relationships, but that there is a power greater than me.  I can and do turn to that power to help me with the challenges I face.  No longer do I feel overpowered by other people.  I use a God Box to let go and let G-d.  I have a regular prayer practice.  I’m human, so I accept myself as imperfect.  I can and do ask for help, not just from my Higher Power, but in appropriate ways from appropriate trustworthy people.

The tools, steps, traditions of CoDA continue to support me as I stay committed to this program one day at a time.

Lynne S.
02.10.2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.