Space for Me in the World

I always thought that I was so sweet, compassionate and empathetic in my relationships and that I was really there for people, and who wouldn’t want that? Why was I not appreciated and why did I feel such crushing resentment towards those I loved? Why did I feel I didn’t belong?

As I worked my CoDA program, I realized that people-pleasing, playing small and not creating healthy boundaries did not make me a likable person. I learned that nobody really ever got to know me because I was a chameleon trying to be what everybody wanted, to avoid confrontation, to be needed and loved.

I also learned in CoDA that the world wasn’t at fault and needed to improve! At first, that was a tough lesson, but as I continued to work the Steps, go to meetings, strengthen my recovery with my sponsor and practice the tools in real life, I realized that it’s much more manageable (and realistic) for me to change my perception and thoughts, improve my communication skills, and with my Higher Power, release my character defects, than to expect and want the whole world to change!

I feel more peace in my life than ever and my relationships are improving. I feel a sense of excitement and curiosity about life and people that I haven’t felt in a long time! And I’m finally starting to claim space in the world that was always intended for me!

The CoDA program is working for me because I’m working it.

Patricia T.
02.26.2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.