Making Dreams Come True

As a little girl, my thoughts and opinions were rarely, if ever, regarded kindly and surely
not encouraged. I look back and realize I was never raised to ‘Dream and Believe’ (a
sign I have in my office).

After several years in CoDA, I have learned that it’s my responsibility to ask for what I
want. Others cannot read my mind. I’ve learned that ‘progress, not perfection’ is my
goal. I’m setting my perfectionistic defect aside best I can. I am able now to have
dreams and make plans to explore them.

I developed a love of music as a child. My father, a musician, exposed me to a lot of
classical music and jazz from a young age. At 9 years old I took up violin and played
throughout high school in orchestras and competitions. I hung on to my violin although I
never played it for decades. Every so often I’d think about pulling it out and playing
again. But on the rare occasion that I did it sounded awful – not at all like I remembered
playing. So, I’d pack it away for another 10-15 years.

But this fall I had a renewed interest in my violin and decided I really wanted to play it
again. My big dream: to play Christmas carols with my kids and grandkids on Christmas
Eve. I have a lingering childhood memory of my dad playing piano and the family
singing. One of those happy experiences I remember well.

First, I took my instrument to a shop and had it looked over. It needed new strings, new
hair on the bow, and a few other items. The luthier was excited and energetic over the
prospect of bringing my violin back to life. His enthusiasm was contagious! Next, I asked
for a list of possible instructors. I knew I needed more than just brushing up. I looked
around and found a teacher. I practiced diligently every single day for weeks. I asked
my daughter if she would play with me on piano (my dad taught her to play). She
willingly agreed, perhaps not quite as enthusiastic as I was, but willing, even to the point
of coming by after work so we could ‘rehearse’ together. I searched and found music for
both piano and violin in matching key signatures. We ended up with a set of nine
Christmas carols.

Christmas Eve arrived. After dinner I pulled out my violin. My daughter sat at the piano. We
began. My 2- and 4-year-old granddaughters giggled and started dancing about. My
teenaged grandsons started singing along. I relished the moment! It was everything I’d
been dreaming of. I was connecting my past and present in a unique and meaningful
way to me.

Did I play the pieces perfectly? Absolutely not. Was it a perfect moment for me?
Absolutely yes! Dreams really can come true. I’ve learned a new way of living through
CoDA! And the joys and benefits are beyond my wildest dreams.

Alison
01.06.2026

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.