My Recovery Is Strong

For me, Recovery seems to be a slow process. Slow, with pauses, retreats and progress. I have not experienced major, life-changing moments of insight or revelation.  I have chronic depression and ADHD-I and it's clear to me that these affect my Recovery.  

Still, there is evidence of Recovery. How do I know that if I'm not experiencing major breakthroughs and my life has not dramatically been transformed? This is how: 

I now have an understanding of and relationship to my Higher Power. I've come to understand that my higher power is within me.  It is my wisdom and compassion.  And my Higher Power is also something transcendent that I can pray to and ask for guidance from.  

I know my Recovery is happening because I have had the same co-sponsor for 8 years.  We have met only virtually as we are on opposite sides of the country and yet our mutual support is strong. It is grounded in CoDA principles.  I also have a home group that I attend fairly regularly and, recently, have begun attending meetings more frequently on an as-needed basis.

In other words, my Recovery is strong because I am practicing the tools of Recovery.  I don't know whether I will ever be free of the impact of chronic depression and ADHD-I.  I don't know if I will ever have major breakthroughs in my life. I aspire to and often fully believe that my life and its timing are on course. 

I do know that Serenity is present even when I don't feel happy or accomplished. It resides within me.  Always. Whether I feel it or not.

H. R.
12.02.2025

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.