Stage of Life

Every year my life changes. Change is the one thing I can always depend on, whether good or bad. With each change comes self-reflection and new strategies for what I am going to do, or how I’m going to react. Change is something I take seriously.

When I have to decide, CoDA has taught me to make a list of pros and cons. CoDA has taught me to look at the problem 360 degrees.

After 30 years and still involved in CoDA life I think proactively and not reactively. Not every choice is a great one, but it is still a choice. I have to systematically make decisions due to my Steps and knowledge of CoDA. I feel the tools and skills I have come to know have truly made my life better. When I make decisions, I was taught to think, “What will this do to my present state of mind?” “Am I going to favor and cherish the choice?”

The choice can all of a sudden go into a direction I did not want it to go in because I did not think it through. They say, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.” This has always hit home to me. I am in a situation now where I must step back and make a list of pros and cons. It always helps me make the right decisions. All the Steps and sharing in CoDA has allowed me the right to speak for myself, continue to have boundaries, and live with hard decisions.

Bernadette C.
10/20/25

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.