An Ongoing Journey

My name is Francine, and I am a grateful recovering codependent.

I came into the rooms of Co-Dependents Anonymous in 2005, after I found out my ex-husband had been having a 9-month long affair. He met her in AA. I never thought something could happen like that with him being sober and us having three children together (the youngest being 5 years old).

Raised in a family of alcoholic/addicts, parents that fought all the time, and what seemed like constant household conflict, I became a people pleaser very young. If I could make someone happy by helping them, making them laugh or anything else I would do it. I learned at a young age to sacrifice myself for others' comfort.

After losing my parents in a three-year period and then that affair, I knew something had to change. I began going to meetings, got a sponsor and then worked the Steps. The Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous healed me. Not completely but I did feel like a different person when I completed them. I felt so much love for myself. I had more of an understanding of others’ behavior. Most importantly, I began to learn how to speak with others in a way that was safe for me and respectful of them.

Now, this is an ongoing journey, and I don’t always get it right, but life is so much better with this program as my foundation.

I still have my sponsor after 20 years. We still have our bi-monthly meetings, but now we’re more co-sponsors and support one another. She’s 85 years old and one of my greatest gifts from recovery.

I remember “one day at a time” “be gentle with myself” and when feeling powerless I recite the Serenity Prayer. I journal, and I have added other tools such as meditation, long walks, reading/listening to spiritual literature and videos, sharing with people I’m safe with and of course attending CoDA meetings. I no longer feel alone.

I am Precious & Free.

Francine
02.19.2025

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.