Valentine’s Day Blues

Attending my first Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) meeting was both nerve-wracking and empowering. I had reached a point where I realized I couldn’t keep sacrificing my emotional well-being for the sake of toxic relationships that drained me. As I sat among strangers sharing their journeys, I felt an unfamiliar sense of hope—a glimpse of the spiritual growth I had been craving.

After the meeting, I prayed for a sign from the universe, asking for clarity about my ex-boyfriend and the strength not to fall back into the chaos of our relationship. For the first few days after breaking things off with him, I felt strong. But as Valentine’s Day approached, loneliness crept in, and I caved. I invited him over for dinner, made my famous lasagna, and set the table with meticulous care. A part of me hoped this would rekindle something meaningful.

But as I served him a steaming plate of lasagna, his phone rang. It was another woman calling him. My stomach sank, and my hands trembled as humiliation washed over me. I had asked for a sign, and the universe delivered it unmistakably. Tears streamed down my face as I asked him to leave—a decision I never would have made just days earlier.

In the past, I would have ignored the glaring red flag, pushed my feelings aside, and continued with the evening, pretending everything was fine. But this time, something shifted. Attending CoDA helped me see that I deserved better, that I was worthy of love and respect—not just from others, but from myself.

That moment was heartbreaking, but it was also liberating. It solidified my commitment to healing, to setting boundaries, and to developing a spirituality that strengthens me. The sign I had prayed for wasn’t what I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed.

Hilda F.
01/14/2025

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.