Happy, Joyous, and Free

Getting help with codependency has been a journey. I relapsed with 16.5 years of sobriety and 15 years in Al-Anon, and mentioned to my therapist that I thought I needed codependency treatment. She didn't agree, and so we kept on the path we were on. I did recover from that relapse and I'm grateful. Felt really good for many years, and then 2 years ago, with nearly 8 years of sobriety again, I felt like I wanted to die, or that my husband had to die. It seemed like the only way out of the pain I was in. I talked to that therapist again, and she said that she didn't see it as codependence. I am so grateful I listened to myself and not to her. A friend had mentioned her Steps in CoDA and I could see such serenity and healthy boundaries around her. I heard that someone I trusted took women through the CoDA Steps. I asked her and she said yes!

I bought the Blue Book, the Workbook, and the In this Moment book. I found myself in the codependent patterns and characteristics. We walked the Steps together, and I made connections in some meetings. As a direct result of taking the 12 Steps in CoDA, I am happy, joyous, and free. I faced speaking up to my husband about things that were hard for me, and I started making choices for my own self-care. I made amends to him and our children, as well as others. My adult daughters and I have such amazingly deeper relationships now. And they are so happy that their dad and I were able to work through so many challenges, that we are dating each other again, that we are peaceful. That we face and resolve our conflicts. What a gift! And most important, my relationship with God and myself is one that I have never known in my whole life.

I love all 12-Step programs. And yet, I am so glad that CoDA is here. I love doing my daily 10th Step and continuing to learn and grow in CoDA and give it back, too.

Katie 03/11/2024

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.