CoDA Weekly Reading 1/30/24

From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <>
Date: January 30th 2024

We all have different feelings about CoDA from time to time. Our feelings are not always positive, but those feelings are a part of recovery too. - Mike H.


That is how I have been feeling lately. CoDA-Shmoda. I don’t even know if that is a word, but it makes me smile. I have been in CoDA about 20 months. I attended a meeting in person for most of that time and occasionally jumped into a meeting online. I stopped going to the meeting I had been going to a couple of months ago and have tried other in-person and online meetings.

I spent most of that time trying to reach out to people in the group, but I found that people don’t always reach back. I seemed to have a hard time fitting in since I wasn’t in any of the other 12 Step programs. I could identify with the patterns of behavior since I grew up in a family with a mother who was an adult child of an alcoholic. I had my share of addictions growing up which included religion, work, sex, and food.

I got my feelings hurt though when people didn’t reach back in the group or misconstrued my attempts to connect. I kept trying to remind myself that I am doing CoDA for myself. It doesn’t matter if people reach back or not, but I guess it does. I tend to deal with rejection by cutting and running to lick my wounds, and I guess that is what I have done here. I am tired of cutting and running. It is exhausting! I am ready to change my behavior.

One of the toughest parts of not going to the meeting I had been going to is that when I stopped going, people didn’t reach out to see where I was. Someone sent me a text 3 weeks later to see how I was doing, but when I suggested we get together to talk the silence was deafening. I even had some people over to my house for dinner and some of those people didn’t respond either. Unfortunately, the lack of response just reinforced the way I was feeling about CoDA.

I don’t think the issue is CoDA though. I think there is still value in using CoDA as a tool; I am just feeling a little bruised these days and I thought it would help to write about it. I know most of the weekly readings are about how wonderful CoDA is. I can appreciate that. I have been one of those people too, but sometimes we have other feelings about CoDA that are just as valid.

CoDA is a laboratory for life. I am experiencing in real time the things I am talking about with my therapist. I am trying to let go and ask my higher power to help me. I don’t need other people to validate me since I am validating myself, but it still hurts. I doubt I will ever get to a place where I am not tempted to cut and run when my feelings get hurt, but maybe I can spend less time licking my wounds and re-engage sooner!

Mike H. 12.9.2023



Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to


You can review previous 2015 - 2022 readings here: .

Older readings are here:

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here:

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.