Choices

I was in a marriage to a sick person with sexual abuse issues. A friend saw my suffering and took me to my first 12-Step meeting. While I was learning, growing, and working the Steps in CoDA I gained hope, knowledge, courage, and realized I DO have choices.

I remember hearing the readings at the beginning of a codependency meeting. I felt embarrassed that they were expressing my deepest secrets out loud! My shameful, debilitating, private feelings – yet the reading confirmed others felt this way too! Others felt ignored, invisible, useless, trapped, alone, hurt, betrayed. The reading confirmed they often did not know what they were feeling because when they had expressed their feelings, they were told that is NOT how they felt and told what NORMAL people would feel/think/do.

I remember feeling, for the first time ever: I am NOT crazy! I am NOT alone! God DOES hear my prayers! I can protect my children! I may be powerless, but I am NOT hopeless!

Thank you to EACH ONE who reads this. I believe my prayers transverse the universe and are not bound by earthly "laws", that I can receive strength through others – even from that quiet prayer, said in solitude, for all those who still suffer.

Today, I can be Precious and Free.

Evelyn O. 8/22/2023

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.