My First CoDA Share

I was a sobbing mess when I attended my first CoDA telephone meeting. Even though I listened to people who seemed much more together than I was, I shakily hit the star six button, still crying. I blurted out how my ex-boyfriend broke my heart. When I was told I was heard, something changed in my life. I didn't get my usual “stop your crying” backlash. It was a new experience that's leading me on an incredible journey.

All my life, from the time I was a little girl, my cries were quenched. When my cat died, I was 10 years old and crying in the back seat of my parents’ car. My mother looked back, telling me, “Stop your chooning.” Later, when I was in a bad marriage, it was my ex-husband telling me to stop crying. Then, as a single parent, even my children told me to stop crying because it made them sad.

It was so freeing to shed tears at my first CoDA meeting, and not being put down for it. Since that first meeting, I have found a place to share my feelings, even my tears.

Thank you, CoDA!

Maureen C. 06/04/2023

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.