Working My Program

My name is Catherine E. I have been in recovery and specifically CoDA for 30 years now. I have started and led meetings in a couple of different states, and I have sponsored people in the past. I have had co-sponsors and had a sponsor and been mentored throughout my journey by many women.

To walk into a CoDA meeting takes great courage. It has been a very difficult job learning to let go and to stop controlling others; to trust in and believe that a higher power had my best interests at heart; to overcome my abandonment issues that plagued me (some of which I still have to monitor myself for) and to learn new tools in order to take care of myself and speak up in relationships. It has been excruciating at times because I have been breaking the chains of bondage in my family’s generations of codependency so that my future and the future of my children and their children’s children could be one filled with freedom, truth, trust, and self-love.

It has been extremely hard to face the issues of trauma that I couldn’t face as a child and instead survived by learning coping skills that kept me alive but now are harmful to me. I now have to deal with the feelings my inner child could not possibly have dealt with back then. I’m glad I am alive to do this work.

Currently, I am running a CoDA meeting once a week and a Twelve Step Work meeting once a week and sponsoring three sponsees right now. I am more fulfilled than I have ever been with the joy of the program in my life and the joy of bringing the message to those who still suffer. I also get as much joy out of sponsoring, if not more, than my sponsees get from me being their sponsor.

My message: The work is the most important work I have ever done and will continue to do. CoDA has saved my life, literally and figuratively. I have set my family on a new path of freedom. I now have an amazing relationship with my higher power that I must conscientiously practice staying connected with every day. I have a deep sense of peace much of the time. I choose to stay in CoDA because I know that I can occasionally have slip ups and I have a deep desire to carry this message to help others recover. I am a grateful recovering codependent. I hope I have been an inspiration to some with my message of courage, strength, and hope.

But for the grace of God go I,

Catherine E. 02/16/2023

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. We are always accepting submissions. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.