Codependent Dollhouse

At 8 years old, I had 4 gorgeous dolls and one short stocky, sarcastic doll who would cut the other dolls down to size by bombarding them with humorous sarcasm and wit, leaving them confused and put in their place. I really identified with this short doll, but where did I learn the sarcastic wit?

I felt my family was a big part of that. Always saying whatever it took to disarm me and keep me under the heel.

I practiced, honed, and developed a biting wit. Sarcasm has always been my skunk spray or my defense mechanism. My father, mother, and brothers taught me how to do it. It kept me from many a butt-kicking throughout the years, but it also cost me many opportunities for growth and learning.

CoDA is teaching me how to dull the blade of my passive-aggressive sarcasm. I was sad to give it up, though. It feels like an old reliable friend is leaving me. However, if I use it for playful purposes with someone who understands me then it can be delightfully delicious. Yet if I stray from working on myself and my CoDA steps, then the sarcastic wit is lethal and tears the flesh (which is what “sarcasm” meant in Greek).

I must keep my words true, pure, and from the heart so that I don’t need to rely on sarcasm anymore. CoDA is showing me how to make that happen. I may be shorter than most but at least by working my program of Codependents Anonymous I’m no longer plastic in my dealings with others or myself.

Thank you for reading my story ~ May peace be your journey.

Pamela W. - 10/16/20

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.