CoDA Weekly Reading 8/13/19

 
From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 8/13/19
Date: August 13th 2019

How the CoDA Twelve Steps Changed My Life.

I am a new person thanks to the Twelve Steps for I understand the nature of my disease now. It is a spiritual disease and the Twelve Steps is a spiritual program, which is perfect to heal my ailment. My spiritual disease can only be healed by reconnecting me with a Higher Power. I understand now that nothing and no one can replace God.

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and a codependent mother. As a child I resented my father for drinking, bringing trash home, and beating my mother. I wanted to protect my mother, so I hated my father passionately and I wanted him dead. My emotional needs for safety and affection were not met at home when I was a child. I grew up raising myself, stuffing my feelings, seeking approval in sports and academia. I excelled in everything and I wanted to do everything, so I was on the go all the time. Chaos, distraction, romancing, and no rest best characterize the first forty years of my life.

And then, at 40, I hit bottom when I entered a relationship with an addict, and I got stuck there looking at my life spinning out of control. The emotional suffering was so immense that I went looking for help. I found the Twelve Steps community, which was a Higher Power in action.

How did my spiritual disease start? My mother was a religious devotee and I did not benefit from that at all. I did not find help in faith as she did. I did not learn from her that God could come to my aid. I was disconnected from God because I was playing God saving my mother. At 40 years old, I connected with God through the Twelve Steps and I surrendered my power. Finally, I got a break from playing a savior not only to my mother but also all my romantic partners, and I was able to become vulnerable enough to be saved myself. The Twelve Steps gave me a framework for my life. I was finally allowed to let go because God had my back.

My mother and I share faith now and enjoy talking about the grace that we both found to save us from living with addicts. It was such a great relief to start praying about everything instead of controlling everything. I wished my mother taught all this when I was a child. Maybe she tried but I was not receptive. I simply do not remember. All I know is that the Twelve Steps gave me a respite in my adulthood.

I cried a river over a childhood that I never had, but I will at least enjoy the second half of my life. The Twelve Steps of CoDA clearly show me the way to a happy life. I will be in Higher Power’s divine therapy for the rest of my life and I will be part of the CoDA community that wants to learn how to have healthy loving relationships just as I do. I am on a spiritual journey with my codependent fellow travelers to a source of happiness.

Bo S. – 7/4

 

 

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.

 

You can review previous 2015 - 2019 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/ .

Older readings are here: http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: http://www.codependents.org

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email info@coda.org

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email espanol@coda.org or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.

http://coda.org/default/assets/file/privacycoda.pdf