CoDA Weekly Reading 6/11/19

 
From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 6/11/19
Date: June 11th 2019

The Four Magic Words of Recovery

Magic for me are the words, “ouch”, “oops”, “help” and “no”. I don’t know where they came from. Like so much CoDA wisdom, that will probably always remain anonymous. Wherever they came from, they serve me well.

“Ouch” is the first one because I have to start by paying attention to myself. Ignoring hurts is not ok, not only physically but also emotionally. It is not ok for me to be berated or talked over or dominated or even ignored. I have a right to be a respected part of any group I am in. And so I have a right and an obligation to speak up against such affronts. This is a key part of me being me.

“Oops” is because none of us is perfect and life is messy. It is a small, humble word, easy to slip in so matters don’t escalate. Impossible expectations no longer burden me. I can be tolerant of me, and all things, as we are.

“Help” follows on that realization of faultedness and points me to becoming a “we” who can do so much more than I can ever do alone. Indeed, I struggled alone so long before I found the fellowship of CoDA where my recovery and growth took off. That internal miracle suggests what some assemblage of “we can do in the world as well.

“No” is the shortest of all, and the most powerful of all. Two year olds know this and say so loudly. But so many of us had that beaten down or ignored. We learned to suppress in order to survive. Or, what I am suspecting was my case, I was protected from the consequences of not saying no to my own harmful impulses and was thus infected with a sense of entitlement. Either way, I have to be ready with this two letter word to others and, even more so, to myself.

These small words, each a complete sentence, achieve so much, so simply. All I need is the wisdom to know when they are needed and the courage to say them.

JB – 3/20/19

 

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.

 

You can review previous 2015 - 2019 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/ .

Older readings are here: http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: http://www.codependents.org

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email info@coda.org

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email espanol@coda.org or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.

http://coda.org/default/assets/file/privacycoda.pdf