CoDA Weekly Reading 11/26/18

 
From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 11/26/18
Date: November 27th 2018

I walked into the rooms feeling tired of being tired. Thinking I have spent all I could to have a good life and it’s just not so.

I was aware the man I was dating for eight years, on and off, was a drug to me and was killing me more than giving me any high. I wanted out but had no idea how or if I had the energy to do it. I tried before, only to return to the poison he gave me. I lived off being the victim. I can look back now knowing I enjoyed sharing my sorry life with others because it gave me validation. I lived off the “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” statements or any pity I could get. I had no idea how addicted I was to that. I was desperate to be loved, I was willing to get it anywhere I could, in any way I could.

CoDA gave me the strength to look at myself. I blamed the world and others, but never saw my part in it. Never saw how I loved what I claimed I hated so badly. No wonder it took me years to finally leave a toxic relationship. I loved misery and really had no clue how to live without it. Healthy relationships were foreign to me and CoDA helped me understand what healthy was. That it started within me. That I needed to love me wholeheartedly and with so much love and compassion. It needed to start with me.

I no longer need validation in any form. I might get it but I’m not searching for it nor desiring it. I have healthy boundaries and define healthy within myself and my relationships with others. I had to learn what healthy is and it had to start with looking within myself.

 

Marsha – 10/30/18

 

Everybody in CoDA has a story to tell. Sharing yours may help thousands of codependents still suffering. Please contribute your experience, strength and hope by emailing your story to wr@coda.org.

 

You can review previous 2015 - 2018 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/ .

Older readings are here: http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: http://www.codependents.org

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email info@coda.org

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email espanol@coda.org or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.

http://coda.org/default/assets/file/privacycoda.pdf