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From: "[list_settings.list_name]" <co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org>
Date: March 19th 2015


Amends

I have heard people in the program complain about others owing them
amends. When the other person admitted their wrong doing and vowed to
change the amends were not accepted because they didn't say they were
sorry.

Is saying, "I'm sorry" an amends ? Or is there a lot more to ii.

Webster 's definition for Amend (on the internet);

    1: To put right
    2a: to change or modify for the better
    2b: to alter, to reform oneself
    Synonym - correct

My first sponsor told me it was not important whether the person I was
making an amends to accepts them or not. What was important was that I
made them. Making amends is about cleaning up my own side of the street.
It is not about getting anyone to like me. It is about becoming
responsible for my behavior. It is about cleaning up the messes I have
made to the best of my ability. I need to state my boundaries and hold
them, not try to run someone else' s program. Whether someone else makes
amends to me or not is their business not mine. I need to focus on
myself and my recovery, not on what I think someone else should do.

R.M. (1998)

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