CoDA Weekly Reading

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Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

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Archived Messages

 

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/14/18

August 14th 2018

Many years back I'd written this statement to myself. I was in Rehab and we were asked to write down a thought or meditation for the day on the blackboard. Usually we'd just copy some statement from a book, but as usual I'd want to think I could express my own experience. It was a topic on Humility. I'd written: “Humility is to know you're broken, but you still love yourself.” I many times wonder why I associated humility with this. But somewhere somehow I know it makes sense to me. To be broken can be quite humbling. ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 8/7/18

August 7th 2018

So how did I get here? Many years ago I was given clear signals (to me anyway) by my parents that I was unlovable and didn’t deserve to be cared for. I had two fairly functional alcoholic parents whose primary consideration was themselves. At one point, with my father being in the armed forces I had to be flown to Germany for bunion surgery. I was 9 years old. My dad dropped me off at the hospital the day we flew in and never came back until I was discharged two weeks later. The first several days weren’t bad but when ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/31/18

July 31st 2018

When I was a schoolgirl I coped with some types of fear with physical acts of courage, such as shouting and charging two boys who were throwing rocks at a friend and me as we walked home from school. To an extent, rage fueled my action that day: rage at the idea of stoning anyone, at the helpless tears of my frightened friend and at the father of those boys, who stood watching their actions without comment and then scoffed when I asked how he could condone what the boys had done. Other types of fear, such as travel to ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/24/18

July 24th 2018

I remember first being introduced to CoDA several years ago. I had recently gotten married after only knowing my boyfriend for six weeks. A week after we got married, my father died from an alcoholic-related heart attack. Then I learned that my new husband had relapsed on cocaine after years of sobriety. I had only been sober for a year and a half and cocaine had been my drug of choice. It felt like the world was crashing in all around me. As I began attending CoDA meetings regularly I was saddened at first to learn t ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/17/18

July 17th 2018

When I look back at all the pain and suffering, it was my long relationship with self-destructive habits that created the prison that became my home. I only knew what I grew up with. That dysfunctional thinking brought on certain attitudes and actions that weren't so easy to toss aside when I first came into CoDA almost 22 years ago.   I lived with my parents instructions and they were filled with misconceptions and lies. Although they were living in their reality, I was trying to figure out my life with very litt ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/10/18

July 10th 2018

My name is Liza and I am a recovering Codependent. I am grieving what I lost. I grew up with a very abusive domineering mother. All my childhood I was in survival mode and when I was 12 she ended up abandoning me. In my early twenties, despite being married to a loving dependable man, her abandonment caused me to live in fear of being abandoned. I did everything I could to control everything in my life. In doing so I was not able to live in the present. I ended up pursuing an education at any cost, I did not listen to ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 7/3/18

July 3rd 2018

I just met a guy. He seems like a nice, intelligent person who has a job. I am afraid. He is not my type. I have to stop myself from putting myself down or jokingly denying his compliments. I don’t know how healthy relationships work. Is he being considerate or controlling when he gives me a napkin I didn’t ask for to mop up my coffee? Are his emails trying to keep me totally focused on him or is he just enjoying a new relationship? I don’t know. How am I supposed to act? Should I dress up or play it cool? Should I ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/26/18

June 26th 2018

The Tree of Bullying The tree of bullying began inside me. I don't remember it consciously as a seed. But I knew I loved it, and I nourished its leaves, until it was a majestic tree. I used words to myself, like, "You should, you could shape up you must be ashamed aren't you afraid? why did you? who do you think you are?" Somehow people on the outside knew about my Tree of Bullying and they loved it. They used the same language to show that they loved me, as I loved myself. And I agreed with thei ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/19/18

June 19th 2018

(Mailing list information, including how to remove yourself with 1 click, is located at the end of this message.) Hi everyone, My name is Peggy and I was diagnosed as a codependent about 9 years ago when I went into counselling to find out why my then-relationship with a much younger man was not working. I realised I was a caretaker rather than a partner and I left the relationship. I attended one meeting of Codependents Anonymous and decided "it was not for me" and I could do this myself, without anyone's he ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 6/12/18

June 12th 2018

(Mailing list information, including how to remove yourself with 1 click, is located at the end of this message.) Long weekends are very hard. I feel the resistance to going to that family function that I hate - the one that is always the same and where I have to fit myself into a role that fits somebody else's expectation or the successful one that I had imagined myself to be in. How do others cope with the pain that I feel? Are others "normal" and I'm the weird one? Is this just my issue? I also feel that c ...Continue Reading

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