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Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.
Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.
February 19th 2019
This is my story about my two and a half months in CoDA. I call it "Walking Stride for Stride" Not so long ago I was down and out. I couldn't see clearly, my vision was in doubt. Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see. See my mind would play tricks on me. Our eyes are the windows to our soul and without tears our rainbows would have no rainbows. Every day and night the hours just passed. My mind solely focusing on my past. I did not understand the pain inside me until that one Tuesday ...Continue Reading
February 12th 2019
On my CoDA recovery journey I have learned new tools that I have been able to call upon when needed. One of those tools is writing a daily affirmation, which I share with an affirmation buddy. In this daily affirmation, I am aware of my internal responses to external circumstances and learn how to focus my attention on what I can control versus what I can't. This has given me a greater sense of serenity and peace on a day-by-day, step-by-step basis. I'd like to share my affirmation for today: This morning, I am aware ...Continue Reading
February 5th 2019
The word codependency was introduced to me years ago after I had my first realization I couldn't control my life and those around me. I felt like I was losing my grasp on reality and reached out to my family and they took me to see a counselor the next day. I only saw this counselor once and left his office flustered and feeling resentful that it didn’t "help." He used the word codependency and it has lingered in my mind for the past decade. Shortly after this moment in my life, substance abuse became a mean ...Continue Reading
January 22nd 2019
Self-esteem. It’s interesting to think about what that word means. How do I esteem myself? What do I think of who I am? For most of my life I let others make that decision for me. I was a people pleaser. I let what others thought of me define who I was. In recovery, I’m learning who I am. I am growing. I am more self-aware in knowing my strengths and my weaknesses. Because I am learning who God—my higher power—is and how I am loved just as I am. I can admit when I make a mistake, realizing I, myself, am not a mistak ...Continue Reading
January 15th 2019
A Reflection about the Slogans */I practice gratitude. / I adopt an attitude of gratitude./* */In order to feel grateful, first I need to trust./* */In the morning, I decide what sort of day I am going to have./* */You can’t keep it if you don’t give it away. /* I had to spend several years working the CoDA program – at least five – before I began to understand what the subject of gratitude was all about and its importance to my recovery process. Since I came to the Twelve Steps a very damaged person – after 4 ...Continue Reading
January 8th 2019
Today we have 3 short readings for you. I was well hidden in my codependent behaviors or at least I thought I was. I had to be better than everyone around me so that I wasn't overwhelmed with shame. I accomplished that by finding flaws in everyone and imagining myself to be a superior spiritual person. The distancing of this strategy was isolating and unsustainable. My first CoDA meeting gave me hope. My first sponsor gave me the steps and, along with weekly meetings and multiple step studies the CoDA program brought m ...Continue Reading
January 1st 2019
I've been in CoDA for a long time (my first meeting was the last Wednesday in August 1992, LOL). I'll never forget when I entered that meeting and everyone shared their name. One woman said, "I'm __________, I'm a codependent and a compulsive addict." After one year of only partially fitting in with another 12 step program, I had found home. I've learned a lot of useful things in CoDA, moderation being one of the most important. Although 26+ years later I still have to work on that on a daily basis—sometime ...Continue Reading
December 24th 2018
There was a time when the holidays were about lights, and candy, and wonder, and anticipation. We were *commanded* to be giddy over the religious overtones of the season. And to keep the codependent peace, we outwardly acquiesced. But in our hearts, it was really the toys and the big fat man – the true lord of childhood – that actually counted. Time elapsed, and like so many others, I was dismayed and disillusioned to find that our toy lord was just another fairytale sold to us by Corporate America. A mere concoction ...Continue Reading
December 11th 2018
I sit in my office looking at the poster that I see every day, which says in big red and white letters: “Our company wants you to wear Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)”. The more I looked at this phrase the more I thought about my breakdown today that made me have to call my sister. The anxiety just started to build in me. I don't know where it came from and it set in fast. I started to drown. The only thing I could think of is that I didn't want it to go down like I know it could. I am at work for crying out loud. ...Continue Reading
December 4th 2018
The Loss of Higher Power. When I came to CoDA I had an unspoken struggle with Higher Power. I lost Higher Power and it was the biggest loss of myself in life. Eventually I decided to pretend I believed in Higher Power, because I needed hope. I used to love the Silence. I would set my alarm for 3 am, get up, get on my prayer stool, and meditate. Afterwards writing would pour out of me. Discipline of the heart does not allow for electronic distraction. Recently I stayed with someone who was addicted to watching mo ...Continue Reading