CoDA Weekly Reading 6/13/17

 
From: "CoDA Weekly Reading" <co-nnectionreadings@codependents.org>
Subject: CoDA Weekly Reading 6/13/17
Date: June 13th 2017

I guess it seems kind of murky to see a straight line of recovery, but I know it is working under the table because my depression is lifting more often and I am finding myself acting stronger around others. I have nearly found a way to exist with my family of origin: extremely strict boundaries and virtually no contact with a narcissistic, hyper-critical bully mother who loves to tell me exactly what to do despite me telling her no, and a father who tried to kill me anytime I would try to state a boundary or do something for myself.

Needless to say, it has been very difficult feeling the freedom to be myself, and I recently broke off a three-month long relationship with a narcissist. I am proud of myself for it and really know I am growing because it became as clear as day when my inner balance sheet calculated and I realized that this person wasn’t being present or supportive of me at all. Luckily I saw it and kindly brought it up, using "I" statements, of course, and taking responsibility to ask for more than the breadcrumbs I was getting. After being met with silent treatment, I went through the pain; I was not surprised, but I was also not hopeless. This time I didn’t blame or shame myself for the ending of this relationship like I would have in the past. I know I did my best; I respected and gave love to this person. He couldn’t "pay the bill," so to speak, so I had to cut my losses. I assessed where I was at fault and whatever answers that came to mind reall y were underwhelming and acceptable, as everything was clear and no shame was needed. If anything, it was empowering and a learning experience I am grateful for.

I am still learning how to take my recovery into work and money, as these are areas of my life where I still struggle with taking care of myself.. For now I feel more trusting of myself everyday in small ways, if I stick to the program, continue to ask for help, and draw my attention back to myself.

TP – 5/13/17

 

We welcome your articles based on experience, strength, hope & CoDA recovery. Please email them to wr@coda.org

 

You can review previous 2015 - 2017 readings here: http://codependents.org/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/list/connections/ .

Older readings are here: http://connections.coda.org/index.cfm/categories

If you have a friend who would like to subscribe, please have them go here: http://www.codependents.org

If you have a general question about CoDA (as opposed to the specific content of this email), please email info@coda.org .

If you wish more information by phone, please call (888) 444-2359 {Toll free} or (602) 277-7991.

For Spanish inquiries you may email espanol@coda.org or call (888) 444-2379 {Spanish toll free}.

Forward to a Friend
 
 
  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

Each week, subscribers will automatically receive an email with a new "recovery reading". Hopefully, viewing this member created work will provide subscribers with thoughts to reflect upon during the remainder of the week.

Privacy Policy:

Per the 11th & 12th Traditions this list is private.

Go back to Codependents Anonymous