CoDA Weekly Reading Archives

 

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/13/18

November 13th 2018

I was a hoarder. Because of my codependence I could not tell where I ended or began. I could not tell what beauty existed outside of me and what was within me. Therefore I could not throw out things of beauty in case they existed inside me and were important. But my husband could. Every time we went to throw out the accumulation of family life he would take something from me that I did not know was precious and that was the first thing to go to the dump. When my dancing medals and cups from my childhood dancing com ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 11/05/18

November 6th 2018

I had called my wife codependent a thousand times. She filed a protection order against me because I called her a name. She used things I said or did over the course of our 10-year relationship and presented them as if they were one incident. It was a bad read. The judge agreed. I was without my son—through whom I have recognized and re-experienced my abandonment issues—for about 10 days. I went through drug-like withdrawal symptoms. It was during this time I had an eight-hour road trip and downloaded a book on codep ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/30/18

October 30th 2018

Before CoDA, I felt numb and unable to express my needs, wants, desires and identity in any meaningful way. I hid my expressions to blend in and to keep the peace. In CoDA, I feel a new sense of purpose and emotion which has surprised me and at the same time delighted me. I notice how raw my poetry feels and also how my truth comes from a deep place. Thank you for this gift of expression, higher power, and keep it coming. My companions alone at night In the darkness, my only companions are my thoughts They are black ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/23/18

October 23rd 2018

I came to CoDA at a time when I needed it most. I felt God had been preparing me to take this step so that I could heal. I have attended three meetings but have been listening to the CoDA steps on the internet daily and have been journaling regularly (I have done that all my life). While I was reading the steps the first time, I realised that a Higher Power was mentioned on each step. It became easy for me to start practising my religion more at a deeper level and not just out of habit or as a ritual. I started reciti ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/16/18

October 16th 2018

Hi! My English isn’t so good because it’s my second language but anyway I will share my story. :) My parents were both alcoholics and my childhood passed in very sick circumstances. I was abused in many ways, not only mentally, emotionally and physically but also spiritually. When I was a child my parents often left me alone to do the household stuff instead of allowing me to go outside with my friends. If I didn’t finish cleaning, cooking, etc., before they come back home then I would get punched. It’s just a brief s ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/9/18

October 9th 2018

My name is Mark and I am a codependent This week I relearned a valuable lesson. I want to focus on the relearning part. I wonder if working all 12 steps in CoDA will help me not to have to relearn basic truths that make me healthy. Well, either way I am gifted to be able to practice a healthy behavior all over again. As I was growing up I felt that I had to be funny and pleasing to everyone and agreeable. And a lot of that really was enjoyable. My sponsor or someone I can't remember told me that it is not wrong to ple ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 10/2/18

October 2nd 2018

I used to drink with my boyfriend almost every other night. That was our main hobby, drinking. I felt I needed revenge on him so many times because he'd let his phone die and would go out drinking till almost the next day. Meanwhile I worried, cried, and broke up with him, only to return to the same cycle. I have forgiven an unbelievable amount of mistakes in this relationship as well as made an unbelievable amount of mistakes. I manipulated him as much as he has manipulated me. I recently sobered up a bit. After I ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/25/18

September 25th 2018

Hello, I am presently in a caregiver situation with my mother. I am staying with her in her home. She is sick with weakness and aging problems. My relationship has been rocky from the start and I am remembering what it was like as a teenager at home and the reasons why I left early to make a life of my own. Nevertheless it has been a time to spend with mom and help with the burden of losing independence. CoDA has helped me through the process of letting go of the personal attacks of blame and victimhood that can ensue ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/18/18

September 17th 2018

My Surrender and CODA’s Help to Accept the Things I Cannot Change We have a large family and I did not get a lot of attention as a child. I was a caregiver/babysitter for my sisters, a helper to mom and a “good girl”. I never knew that I could ask for what I needed or wanted. I did not think in those terms at all. There was a lot of bickering and arguing especially when my parents were drinking. My dad worked all the time. When he came home that is all the table talk was about. Work. Complaining about this and that. M ...Continue Reading

CoDA Weekly Reading 9/11/18

September 11th 2018

Hello, My name is Laura and I am very codependent. I attended my first CoDA meeting about ten years ago. Stayed for a little while and came back two years ago. I had three relationships prior to CoDA that I now know were doomed because of my codependency (among other things). I gave everything I had in me and then some, thinking this is what you are supposed to do. When my partner(s) were unfaithful, I swallowed my pride and never missed a step. I wasn’t going anywhere—if anything, I became more loving. Basically the ...Continue Reading
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